CSI: Crime Scene Investigation quotes

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Brass: I think every new hire should experience an autopsy on their first night.

Brass: I'm chasing something that Gil Grissom isn't interested in ... a hunch.

Brass: It's not as bad as it looks.
Sheriff Atwater: It never looks good when a suspect dies in custody.

Brass: Lepidro. What kind of name is that?
Grissom: It's from Lepidoptera, meaning "butterfly." Walter Clancy started out a gender-dysmorphic caterpillar and turned into a bloody butterfly.
Brass: Love hurts.

Brass: Let me get this straight, Larry. An old man refuses to let you steal his money, so you jack a Hummer and try to run over his taco stand?
Larry: [Embarrassed] Maybe.
Grissom: I think this is the dumbest thing we've ever heard.

Brass: Oh, you're gonna love this. [opens bathroom door] Ring any bells? Rub-a-dub-dub, dead man in the tub.

Brass: Quincy wants to be alone.
Uniformed Cop: Why does he want to be alone?
Brass: He wants to get his mojo working.

Brass: So I bet you think I owe you one, huh?
Warrick: We work. We get paid. You don't owe me anything.
Brass:(smirks) Fine with me.

Brass: So, you planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?
Grissom: It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.
Brass: I thought your bugs never made mistakes.
Grissom: They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket or clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight---maybe tighter than I realized---which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects
Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Brass: Well, let me ask you this. You killed a pig just for this?
Grissom: This poor ham was already on its way to someone's Christmas dinner

Brass: There's been another fourth of July.

Brass: We are going back to Lady Heather's.
Grissom: I can take care of this myself.
Brass: Gil, do me a favor. Get a sport car. It's a lot cheaper and easier to handle.

Brass: Well, the kid gets murder, mom's an accessory, and dad gets felony explosives. It's a family-value pack.

Brass: Well, the rancher's going to get off, Linda's dead, and Wolfie... skates with a misdemeanor.
Catherine: We took one look at those furry suits and thought "foul play," but this was really just a domestic dispute gone mad.
Grissom: Fur and loathing in Las Vegas.

Brass: What's this? An anonymous package from county lockup? (Grissom starts opening the package) Yeah, well, hey, just a second. Wait a minute. Give an innocent bystander a chance to clear out, will you?
Grissom: What are you worried about?
Brass: One minute, I'm eating tomato salad. The next ... I'm gazpacho. (Grissom opens the package and finds a video tape inside) With any luck it'll be the next episode of G-String Divas.

Brass: Who said the shooter was scared?
Grissom: Shot him in the back.
Brass: With his zipper down and his hands otherwise engaged.
Grissom: Yeah. We're looking for a coward.