The job is fine. It's the other stuff -- the personalities.
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
Is that Einstein?
Linus.
Charlie Brown. Figures.
S2 E10Ellie
S2 E11Organ Grinder
The average American hotel room is covered with stains invisible to the naked eye.
Yeah, but they're not all biological. Some are soda stains, food stains, whiskey stains, you know.
No matter how clean or expensive the room seems that's why I always travel with nonoxinol nine.
You sound like you're making a commercial.
S2 E12You've Got Male
Sara?
Yeah?
You've got to get out more. [Turns and walks away]
[Shocked, she walks back down the hallway]
S2 E13Identity Crisis
[Nick is examining a car]
Is this the car the guy was killed in?
[Nick is clearly startled]
He was killed in the warehouse. And don't sneak up on a person like that!
Now you know how I feel, like ten times a day.
S2 E14The Finger
Okay, let's run this. Amanda was tired of being number two, so she calls up Mrs. Logan to discuss her affair with her husband. But Mrs. Logan doesn't just discuss it she throws down the gauntlet.
Amanda broke the only rule. Don't call the missus.
Now he really has a problem.
Two problems. His wife is going to leave him, take half his money and he was going to jail.
You got to admit, his solution was ingenious.
Most killers take their time planning a murder. He took his time covering it up. Forty-eight hours to be precise. So Logan cleans up the crime scene and calls his lawyer. Asks him to help him with his little charade. I mean, what better way to protect your assets than to pay a kidnapper who's already on retainer?
Everything from that point on was calculated.
Blood on his hands...he's the last customer of the day at the bank. Acting suspiciously...
...driving recklessly.
He knew he'd get hauled in to the cops.
You bet your ass. He didn't leave those sunglasses behind by accident. His cell phone rang on cue. The call's for me. He practically forced that money into his lawyer's hands.
Out of one pocket, into the other. I especially liked the little show he did for us in the coroner's lab. Trying to find out how much we knew.
Why make the map? Why lead Catherine to the body?
Because without the body Logan would always be under suspicion.
If not by the police, by his wife.
So, he left these wine glasses for you to find.
Sure, we wanted us to suspect the wife. That's why he used her SUV to transport the body. And he let me mark the money because he knew that eventually his lawyer would touch it.
Why though? The money was in a suitcase.
A million dollars. Pretty tempting.
I saw the locker and I saw Logan's briefcase. It was too big to fit inside. His lawyer had to remove the cash by hand.
How could he possibly know that Catherine was going to mark the money?
He didn't. He probably thought the bank marked it.
Besides, there's always fingerprints.
So I did everything in my power to help him.
S2 E15Burden of Proof
[A bug crawls out of the man's shirt]
Oh look, one of your friends.
It's a carpet beetle, it shouldn't be here.
Vic seem more like a hard-wood floor kinda guy to you?
[Sara and Cath are in the hallway walking into the breakroom]
Wow, you got to go to the body farm?
Yeah.
I've always wanted to go there. What was it like?
Quiet.
[Now in the breakroom]
I hear Grissom goes there all the time. Like even on his nights off.
[Walking over to the fridge] Why does that not surprise me? [He opens the fridge and sighs] Man, something stinks in here again. [He grabs his lunch out of the fridge]
What, bad milk? Cottage-cheese bad?
Worse. It's all over my sandwich. Smell that. [He hands her his sandwich, she reacts to the smell. She then kneels down to look in the fridge and sees a container on the top shelf]
Yeah. He's got one of his experiments in there.
You're kidding me?
Catherine Blood or bugs?
It's not bugs.
Oh, that's so not cool. That's a community fridge.
Man, someone has got to talk to Grissom about this.
[Walking in]: Talk to me about what?
You leaving your experiments in our refrigerator.
Well, the lab fridge was full. I put in last night.
Well...
I'm going to test for horizontal motion on bloodstains. Vis-a-vis surface textures. [Nick looks annoyed. Catherine takes a sip of her coffee and discretely tries to ignore the smell. Grissom is clueless as he takes out the container of blood from the fridge and opens it] Hey, any of you guys got any linoleum at home? [Catherine catches a smell of the open container and this time, she discretely pinches her nose trying to avoid the smell. Sara is quiet]
[sits down still annoyed at being ignored] That blood is rank, man.
Grissom I know. That's why the Red Cross gives it to us 'cause it's past its expiration date. [Grissom puts it back in the fridge and talks to Catherine about the case a little then leaves]
Way to go, Nick. You really told him.
I told him...he just didn't hear it.
I'm working a case!
I thought WE were working a case!
You're right!
Aren't you going to tell me anything?
Take some pictures of the experimnt for the DA and then clear that stuff up!
(looks at the meat) Meat? (shocked) Raw meat? (upset that he forgot) Me?
Yeah!
Grissom. How many dinners have we shared?
(uninterested) I don't know!
(getting increasingly annoyed) Take a guess! Over the year and half that we've worked together!
Um...30?
(stating what he forgot) I'm vegetarian! Everyone (looks towards the entire PD) here knows I'm a vegetarian! It pains me to see ground beef!
You're right! Have Nick do it!
S2 E16Primum Non Nocere
Pucks, bucks and... chicks.
Since when have you been interested in beauty?
Since I met you.
There are three things in life people like to stare at - a rippling stream, a fire in a fireplace, and a zamboni going round and round.
Charlie Brown. I love a zamboni.
We all do.
What is Victoria's secret, I wonder?
Beauty, Grissom, remember?
S2 E17Felonius Monk
How do you get one vic, let alone four... To sit still while you put a bullet between their eyes.
They were praying.
Yeah, for mercy.
For whoever was shooting them.
Guy in the robe flagged down an officer.
Guy in the robe is a monk, Nick.
Yeah. Well. [Nick looks at the monk for several seconds then turns back to Grissom] He's a quiet monk.
Wherever you live is your temple. If you treat it like one.
State your source.
Buddha.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's CSI: Crime Scene Investigation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.