Grissom: So, dead guy in first class?
Brass: Las Vegas Air, I always heard it was a good time.

Grissom: So, Greg, how do you explain adhesive and toilet bowl cleanser on the gun?
Greg: I don't know. I can tell you the toilets in the club had blue water.
Grissom': You inspected the toilet bowls for evidence?
Greg': Well, when you got to go, you got to go.
Hodges': Whew.
Grissom: At a crime scene, Greg?
Hodges: Everybody knows you hold it.
Grissom: You go across the street or next-door, somewhere other than the scene, until you've cleared the restroom. Did you clear the restroom?
Greg: No.
Grissom: Well, you could've flushed away evidence, wiped away fingerprints from the handle. Make sure you include this in your field notes.

Grissom: So, let's see. You surf, you scuba dive. You're into latex, you like fashion models and Marilyn Manson. And you also have a coin collection?
Greg: Weird, ha?
Grissom: Well, I race cockroaches.

Grissom: Sooner or later, everybody gets replaced.
Mendez: Talk to me when it happens to you.

Grissom: Suicide, huh? I don't know, Brian. On the day you decide to end your life, why would you go to work?

Grissom: Sun Tzu once said "�If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by." [opens the door to find a mummified body] But those were brutal times.

Grissom: Teenage wasteland! (Referencing The Who's hit song, "Baba O'Riley")
Warrick: Who?
Grissom: Yeah!

Grissom: That took a long time. You may need a prostate exam.
Greg: My prostate is just fine. I'm not a soda fountain.
Grissom: Well, hopefully you are, 'cause I need a number two as quickly as possible.
Greg: What is this all about?
Grissom: The victims body was found in the sewer. Ambient temperature 80 degrees. The corrosive chemicals caused the body to decompose faster than normal. And I wanna find out how much faster. Today.
Greg: This is some kind of CSI hazing. Make me appreciate blood and semen more.

Grissom: That's not what the evidence says.
Catherine: Well, maybe the evidence is wrong.
Grissom: You can be wrong, I can be wrong, but the evidence is just the evidence.

Grissom: The evidence can.

Grissom: The last time a security guard tried to help me, he ended up dead.

Grissom: The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And the Lord arranged for a fish to swallow up Jonah. You know what the problem with the piranha, though? They have high cholesterol.
Catherine: Cholesterol is found in humans, not fish. So how does a fish acquire human cholesterol?
(They catch the couple having sex)

Grissom: The Orionid meteor shower. You never get a view like this in town.
Brass: Hmm. So, uh, is this part of the investigation?
Grissom: No. But we're here, and it's beautiful.

Grissom: The space heater overloaded the circuit causing a spark to ignite the kerosene.
Frank: Can you prove it? In court?

Grissom: There are three kinds of people I hate. Men who hit their wives, sexual assault on children, and the scum who deal death to kids.