Jim Brass quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Brass

Okay, let me get this straight, you'd rather do the legwork on a next-of-kin notification you'd rather do that than slog around in the sewer looking for evidence? I mean, that-that is not the down and dirty Sara Sidle I used to know.

Sara

I like to know where haters come from.

Brass

So Sylvester and Tweety whacked their owners.

Greg

Think of it as a series of unfortunate events.

Brass

What do you mean, don't think of it as a cartoon?

Well, you heard that expert - he's not responsible for his actions. Besides, the love of a good woman can change any man.

Ray

Well, why don't you tell that to the seven women that we found buried under his floorboards?

Brass

[sarcastic] I see you've met the Brides of Haskell.

Catherine

Here's what we have: Haskell's out there, and he may have a new face.

Sofia

Well, the new face is a game changer.

Brass

I'm sick of this guy. He's like the Joker in Batman. Except without the laughs.

Russell

I'd blame Leslie. It wasn't like she hit your truck by accident. That's just the beginning of the damage she did to you and your family. There are no accidents, right? A woman scorned parks outside her ex-lover's house night after night, thinking about how to destroy him. What does she see? A pеdоphіlе lusting after a little girl and a father fighting for his son. Three strangers who all want something. They just need to meet.

I did everything I could to get Lonny clean, and it was working. Then he met Cal, and I was losing him again. She swore it was just going to be Cal. She lied. Once I stepped into that house, I had no choice. You know what it's like to lose your kid to drugs? To wish the world for 'em and see that world come crashing down around 'em?

Brass

I do, actually. I do. But it still doesn't justify killing a whole family.

Brass

You've got to prepare yourself; it's only going to get worse.

Doc Robbins

You need to prepare yourself to be wrong. You past is clouding your judgment and I expect more than that from you.

Brass

A cheating wife and her dead lover, do you see something I don't?

Greg

Yeah, a crime scene that has yet to be processed.

Brass

He took her eyes. That sick bastard. Why?

D.B.

Hell with why. I want to know who.

Brass

I think she's more than lying. I think we're looking at a modern Ma Barker here. You know, Ma Barker had four sons. Herman, Lloyd, Arthur and Fred. Masterminded her own Little Crime House on the Prairie.

Morgan

Wow. You're like a World Book of Crime.