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A character in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Greg Sanders quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Played by Eric Szmanda · 168 quotes · page 9 of 12

Greg Sanders

5th most-quoted character in CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: in 168 of its 1,147 quotes
Most scenes with: Gil Grissom (49), Nick Stokes (40), Catherine Willows (30)

Scenes with Greg Sanders 151

Has someone called your parents? You should let them know-- [Greg groans] What's the matter?

Greg

They still think I'm in the lab.

Why do they think that?

Greg

When I was in high school I never played any sports, no football, no basketball, definitely no hockey.

[sarcastic] I never would have guessed.

Greg

Well, it wasn't my choice. My mom wanted four kids, ended up with only one. She always made sure I stayed close... and if I got a nosebleed, she'd take me to the ER.

Well, now would be the time to come clean.

Greg

[beginning to cry] My mom's gonna freak.

You tell her that you risked your life to save someone else's and I think she'll be very proud of you.

You're gonna apologize to the mother of a guy who beat one man to death and was tryin' to do the same to you? That's as good as saying you're guilty and setting yourself up for one hell of a civil suit besides. You did nothing wrong.

Greg Sanders

I just wanna be able to sleep again.

We put ourselves in harm's way every single day and sometimes we pay one hell of a price for surviving it. Other people will never understand that.

S7 E7 Post Mortem
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You know that flash drive that I found in a locked drawer in Jill Case's office? I thought it was just a bunch of photos, but it turns out there was a little more than meets the eye.

Greg

You mean the flash drive was a Transformer?

S7 E8 Happenstance
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Hey, how's it going on your civil case? Did you get a lawyer?

Greg

LVPD said they'll provide me with an attorney.

Get your own counsel, Greg. That's your right.

Greg

Well, are you gonna give me raise because otherwise I can't afford that.

Call the PPAC and talk to your union rep. This was an on duty incident, they'll provide you with an attorney.

Greg

How's the union lawyer gonna be any different?

The department's only interest is the department. They'll throw you under the bus to protect themselves. When's your deposition?

Greg

Three weeks from tomorrow.

Stick to whatever you put in the report. Don't waver, be consistent. Everything's gonna be fine.

You know, if you're still having trouble coming to terms with the fact that this is no longer your lab, I suggest counseling.

Greg

I would like you to run this for me, please?

M'kay.

S7 E19 Big Shots
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Greg

You know, I kind of feel bad for these girls.

Don't feel too bad. They have health benefits, good pay. Women get regular check-ups. Industry is well-regulated. As opposed to picking a hooker up off the street. Does she have a disease? Multiple diseases? Is she crazy? Is she gonna roll you? Where do you go? Do you do it in your car, behind a building, down a dark alley? So you drive around, scared out of your mind, finally get the nerve up, pick one you like, call her over, she gets in. Next thing you know, you're down on the pavement, cuffed, because she's an undercover cop, but luckily you were three months shy of your eighteenth birthday so when you call your mom to come get you, it doesn't go on my permanent record.

Greg

[momentarily speechless] ... Okay.

[talking about go karts] You know, when I was a kid we used to make these things out of lunch trays and old lawn mower engines.

Greg

When I was a kid, I used to make bombs.

[looks at Greg]

Greg

[holds his fingers up to indicate "small"] Little bombs.

Bring us up to speed Greg.

Greg

Okay, sure, um, Carmen Davis' keys were still in her purse, car's outside, no cash in the wallet and the credit cards have been removed and neatly stacked on the table. It appears as though they've been wiped clean. Killer was smart enough not to take anything that could be traced.

Which suggests that he was an experienced criminal. What do you know about this guy?

JMAgent Jack Malone

Including everything you just told me? Everything you just told me.

S8 E6 Who and What
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Greg

Looks like our vic was in a goth band. You know, I used to be goth.

Mh-hmm.

Greg

Yeah, the goth-thing was just an act. Chicks dug it.

How does that work?

Greg

You act depressed to get chicks, you get depressed chicks.

Greg

Regal Sanitation was owned by Anthony Pezzulo. I'm studying mob history for a book I'm writing.

Pezzulo? Wasn't he the mob boss who, uh, owned the Starfly?

Greg

They called Pezzulo "Whacko," not so much for his wacky personality as for his love for whacking guys.

Until he himself got whacked at the Wisconsin Dells in 1983. Every mob-owned business in Vegas shut down when Pezzulo died.

These scumbags like roaches. Just when you think they're gone, they pop back up again.

S8 E9 Cockroaches
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Greg

Disposing of animals like this is illegal. Whoever dumped the vic must have known about the site from dumping dogs.

Yup. It looks like he's moving up the food chain.

Hey buckaroos, have you seen Catherine? Because I just got the results from that semen stain on Cody Latshaw's jeans.

Come up with a match?

I did. I had to run an Ouchterlony test on it.

Greg

So, not from a human donor?

No, no, bovine. (Nick and Greg look appalled) Yeah. I took a psychobiology class once and we studied a very interesting case. Okay, there was a guy who lived on a farm, and literally the only way that this guy could get sexually satisfied was when he was with livestock. (Nick tries to interrupt)

Hey, that's okay, I'm good...

(growing more enthusiastic as she continues) Well, you see, apparently the whole thing started one ngith because he was in the barn and it started snowing, he was stuck in there and couldn't make his way back to the farmhouse so he decided that he would try and stay warm... well, with a sheep. (Nick just looks at Wendy) But then the horses were jealous, so, you know... And I think there was a cow in there as well...

Greg

You know, I think we got the picture.

I wish I didn't.

Greg

Cowboys, cattle rustling, and now a shooting at the dance hall.

Welcome to the Wild West.

(to Greg who has a scarf wrapped around his neck) What are you doing, a catalog shoot? Where's your matching hat with your pom-pom?

Greg

Leave me alone. I have a cold.

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