Sara Sidle quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

I married a cop. With that comes alcohol and women to take the edge off. First time ... he said it meant nothing. He promised never to do it again. By the third time ... I told him to stop confessing. I wasn't going anywhere.

Sara

Don't ask, don't tell.

I wasn't willing to trade my family for the flavor of the month. That doesn't make me pathetic.

Grissom

There are three things in human life that are important, the first is to be kind, the second one is to be kind and the third one is to be kind.

Sara

Henry James.

Grissom

Very good, author of one of the greatest horror stories ever written, Turn of the Screw, and I'm looking for one.

Sara

A screw?

Grissom

Yes.

Greg

I found something a little unusual for a roller coaster. Not a sailor but a...

Sara

Semen. Sex on the roller coaster?

Greg

Or some kid shaking hands with Shorty.

Grissom

The release of epinephrine and adrealine while riding a roller coaster can produce a stimlatory effect. It enhances ejaculation.

Greg

Right.

Grissom

I thought that Nick was the best candidate for the position.

Sara

Why?

Grissom

Because he didn't care whether he got the job or not.

Sara

That's a stupid reason.

Sara

Hey, hey, Nick, Congratulations on your almost promotion. Seriously, you deserved it.

Nick

Wow, that's really hard for you isn't it?

Sara

Yeah, it is.

Sara

What?

Grissom

How many vacation days do you have on the books?

Sara

About ten weeks, I guess. Why?

Grissom

I think you should take a week or two.

Sara

I'm still on the case. I just didn't do the interview for once in my life. When was the last time that you took a vacation, never, right?

Grissom

Okay.

Sara

I don't have a death wish and I'm not a drunk. In case you were worried.

Grissom

I'm not worried. I'm concerned.

Sara

Isn't that kind of the same thing?

Sara

I don't have a death wish and I'm not a drunk. In case you were worried.

Grissom

I'm not worried. I'm concerned.

Sara

Isn't that kind of the same thing?

Sara

I heard you finally lost your virginity. (Greg gives her a look and Sara smiles) First autopsy, how was it?

Greg

It was fine. How was your first time? How'd you react?

Sara

I puked.

Greg

I didn't puke.

Sara

Way to go, tough guy.

Sara

This counts as field work, you know.

Greg

Oh, I'm smiling on the inside.

Sara

Dirty laundry or garbage? (before Greg can answer) You know what? You take garbage.

Greg

Thanks.

Sara

[sees two pill bottles] Daniel Perez is taking oxycodone for pain, and Alicia was on diazepam.

Warrick

Diazepam? That's a pretty hard-core antidepressant for a kid that small.

Sara

I guess they didn't want her complaining while they were mining her body for healthy cells.

Sara

Wow. Look at you, Mr. straightedge. I did not know that your hair could do that.

Greg

I look like a dork.

Sara

No, no, no. You look like a pro, which is what you are.

Greg

I don't mean to pry, but do you want to talk about what happened between you and Ecklie?

Sara

Not really.

Greg

I don't know if you noticed about me, but I'm a good listener.

Sara

I blew up at Ecklie, it was very unprofessional, and very satisfying, and now we're moving on. Thanks for asking.

Grissom

Question. You come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do you do?

Greg

Is that a trick question?

Sara

Stop, jump out, run over to him.

Grissom

Or, take the time to pull into the garage and park and lock your car.

Greg

That means she slept with a dead guy. She's not only a killer she's a necrophiliac. That's what I call enjoying your work.

Sara

She's trashed. Maybe she passed out.

Greg

How drunk do you have to be to sleep next to a decomposing body? The smell alone is an alarm clock.

Sara

Not next to him, on top of him.