Nick Stokes quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara

Hey Nick, have you ever been to a swingers party?

Nick

Well, if it's the same thing as a frat party yeah, lots of them. You know, you get enough booze going things can get pretty wild.

Sara

Frat party, huh? Well, I wouldn't know anything about that...How wild?

Nick

Multiple partner wild.

Warrick

(Throws magazine onto roof of car) Hey

Nick

Ooooh, Pretty girl

Nick

I wired the target to the car's alarm system. Gotta make sure we hear it.

Catherine

Always thinking there, Nicky, aren't ya?

Nick

Okay, remember full out the fifth then hit the nitrous and hang on.

Catherine

You just try to keep up.

Nick

(Looking at his beeper before going to the lab across the hall) You beeped me from across the hall

Greg

Uh yeah, I waved, you didn't look up.

Catherine

D.A. just got the call. Tom's manager hired Marjorie Westcott to defend him.

Nick

"Soundbite" Westcott?

Catherine

Guilty, rich client, high-profile case it's right up her alley. Publicity for her new cable show.

Grissom

Forget about who's involved. We do this like we do any other case.

Can the casino do anything to hurry this up, Mr. Stokes?

Nick

I'm processing as fast as I can, sir. It would help if I had the dice used at this table.

We replace the dice every hour.

Nick

I've got my work cut out for me then, don't I?

Grissom

Tom Haviland's attorneys are not waiving time.

Nick

Are you serious?

Sara

They're actually exercising their right to a speedy trial?

Gil

No requests for continuances, no stall tactics. They're pushing for their day in court.

Warrick

Good defense attorney always does the last thing you expect.

Catherine

Yeah. What typically drags on for months has now been put on the fast track and the prelim is less than 72 hours.

Greg

I'm only done processing half the evidence.

Catherine

You're going to have to call in help, because if the judge thinks that our evidence isn't strong enough to go to trial, he's going to dismiss the charges on Tom.

Sara

Can't the D.A. drop the charges and we'll refile when we get our evidence together?

Catherine

Sure, but the odds are that Tom will relocate to Europe and pull a Polanski.

Greg

And what's a Polanski?

Grissom

Get-out-of-jail-free card. One more thing: Westcott just added a forensic scientist to their roster. She wants him to examine every piece of evidence we have against Haviland.

Nick

As soon as it's processed they'll get a copy of our report.

Gil

They're entitled to see it as it's processed.

Nick

I've never done a case where the defendant took advantage of that rule of discovery.

Gil

Well, when you can't attack the evidence itself, you attack the method of gathering the evidence.

Sara

So who's their guy?

Grissom

Dr. Phillip Gerard.

Sara

Phillip Gerard? Your mentor is their forensic scientist?

Grissom

Yeah. Marjorie Westcott's a smart lawyer.

Nick

[as he and Dr. Gerard are reviewing video surveillance] Looks like Raymond was disposing of the bodies for your client. You think he ran out of time before he could move Kim's out?

Dr. Phillip Gerard

Or Ray was disposing of them for himself. You've just supplied Tom Haviland with reasonable doubt.

Nick

No. What I showed you on video is Ray in the casino during the time the murders were committed.

Dr. Phillip Gerard

His zeal is clouding his judgment. It's not what did happen; it's what the jury will believe could have happened.

Brass

[when Tonya's body is found] Did, uh, Tom Haviland ever play a boxer? Girl's face looks like hamburger meat.

Grissom

Looks like uncontrollable rage to me.

Nick

Grissom, you might want to come down here.

Grissom

Just say it, Nick.

Nick

Beans and franks. Tonya's a man.

Grissom

Looks like that old Hollywood saying: "Never get caught with a dead girl or a live boy." So, let's see Tom's in bed with what he thinks are two girls. He reaches down on one, becomes very confused. Most guys would have just cleared the room and gargled with whiskey. But Movie Boy, who brags about doing his own stunts, couldn't take the thought of having a man in his bed, so he freaked out.

Catherine

[to Nick] Remember, if you get stuck just maintain the same posture. If there's any adjustments, you're seen as squirming. It's going to make you look shifty.

Nick

Thanks, Cath. You know, I've done this before.

Catherine

Well, I've done it longer.

Nick

Damn!

Catherine

What?

Nick

Damn, damn, damn. I forgot to put case identifiers on my dice photos.

Catherine

Date, time and file number?

Nick

Yeah. [Catherine doesn't say anything] Don't look at me that way, okay? I wrote it down on the evidence envelope. I had to move fast. The casino manager wanted us out of there.

Catherine

The dice places Tom at the murder. Victim's blood mixed with his saliva.

Nick

I was sweating bullets looking at those photos.

Catherine

Did the judge exclude the dice?

Nick

No. No, just my credibility.

Warrick

Damn! Why didn't I see that coming? Gambling?

Nick

Hey, we're all in Nevada. It's legal; don't worry about it.

Warrick

Legal doesn't matter in there. You know the judge is going to throw out our blood evidence, right?

Nick

Truth is, it is compromised, Warrick.

Warrick

The blood is fine. It's their methods that are dirty.

Nick

Okay, back to midgets.

Grissom

Nick? "Dwarves" or "little people."

Sara

Is this some kind of convention?

Grissom

Little People Convention. Every year they come from all over the world to a designated city. Socialize, network. It's their Prom, Olympics, and New Year's Eve all rolled into one. (As they walk, a man in a wheelchair nearly runs into Nick)

Nick

Oh, hey. Excuse me.

Don't think so, square jaw. (Grissom and Sara continue along the ballroom unaware of Nick's close encounter)

Sara

Grissom, how do you know this?

Grissom

I get the newsletter.