Gil Grissom quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

You know, I was under the impression that it was against departmental policy to negotiate with terrorists.

Grissom

Are you a terrorist?

Depends. [Shines flashlight in Grissom's face] Are you terrified?

Grissom

Look, I really don't want to talk to you. Where is my guy?

Oh, so he's "your guy", huh?

Grissom

Yes, he is. Where is he buried?

Are you two close?

Grissom

That's none of your business.

What does "Nick Stokes" mean to you? How do you feel when you see him in that coffin? Does your soul die every time you push that button? How do you feel knowing that there's nothing you can do to get him out of that hell? Helpless? Useless? Impotent?

Good. Welcome to my world. [Opens jacket, revealing Semtex strapped around him] Uh, if I were you, I'd back up a little.

Sofia

Your broadcast was for a blue Pontiac. Patrol figured this was worth a look.

Grissom

How bad does a smell have to get before Parking Control calls Homicide?

Sara

No way this car was at the trailer park. Think we've got a new case. First citation was issued five days ago. Car's probably been here at least six. [Sofia pops the trunk. Inside are the liquefied remains of two bodies] Six days in the summer heat.

Grissom

And a trunk becomes a crockpot.

David

It's like the Red Sea in here.

Grissom

The Red Sea's not red, David.

David

No, it's blue from afar and transparent when held in hand, like any other body of water. I was just speaking figuratively.

Grissom

The Orionid meteor shower. You never get a view like this in town.

Brass

Hmm. So, uh, is this part of the investigation?

Grissom

No. But we're here, and it's beautiful.

Catherine

It's a big desert.

Grissom

About twenty-five thousand square miles

Catherine

Nearest town is Pahrump. That's about thirty miles from here

Grissom

But I got water, we can share.

Catherine

Who are you today, Moses?

Catherine

[on phone] Yeah, Jim. Uh, Grissom and I are gonna take a little walk.

Catherine

So I understand that you're going up against Mark Thayer? The guy's an ass.

Grissom

Used to be a competent scientist. We actually co-authored a paper together ten years ago. I believe greed has gotten in his way.

Catherine

Well, I've seen him on the stand. He manipulates evidence.

Grissom

He manipulates people. The public assumes that scientists are ethical. But many of us are no better than politicians, evidently.

Excuse me Dr. Thayer.

What the hell do you want?

Well, to inform you that you have the right to remain silent. DA is filing charges for perjury and obstruction of justice. We won't be accepting a plea.

This is all your fault.

Grissom

I hope so.

Greg

And what do I get to do? Go back to the lab and wait for a phone call?

Grissom

This is a running gun battle that started twenty blocks back, you get that.

Greg

That's got to be like, a mile, who's with me?

Sara

A bunch of pissed off locals with shot-up cars.

Grissom

Hello. My name is Doctor Gil Grissom. I'm the night shift supervisor of the Las Vegas Police Department's crime lab. I'm not a police officer, I'm a scientist.

You work for the cops, that makes you a cop. You're not on our side.

Grissom

Actually, I'm a forensics expert. My job is to collect physical evidence from a crime scene to determine who did what to whom and how did they do it. I've been asked to come here today by the Mayor and Sheriff Berdic to present our analysis of the evidence in this case to your community.

Why here? Why should we believe your evidence?

Grissom

Physical evidence cannot be wrong; it doesn't lie. It's not influenced by emotion or prejudice, it's not confused by the excitement of the moment. I'm here [looks up] in God's house to explain to you the truth about exactly what happened the other day.

Robbins

You know, Gil, we're all intrigued by our nightmares when we watch freak shows, but basically we're all thinking the same thing.

Grissom

Yeah, I'm glad they're not looking at me.

Nick

Hey, Grissom. You wanna talk to me?

Grissom

Yeah. Sit down. (pause) I heard that, uh, Kelly Gordon may be a suspect in your murder case.

Nick

Yeah.

Grissom

Is that a problem?

Nick

No. No, it's not a problem. Hey, by the way I heard the tape. I did a voice comparison. Sylvia Mullins is the other voice on that tape. She's Walter Gordon's ex-business manager so I'm pretty sure she had something to do with my kidnapping.

Grissom

But now she's dead.

Nick

Yeah.

Grissom

So... it's over.

Nick

Yeah.

Grissom

Good.

Nick

Good.

Warrick

Who brings a gun to a knife fight?

Grissom

The winner?

Grissom

[seeing Hodges color in his grey hair with a marker pen]: Vanity, thy name is Hodges.

Hodges

This isn't what it looks like. I actually like my grey hair, the few that I have.

Sara

Hodges, don't you know that grey hair can be very attractive? [Grissom and Hodges look at her suggestively] The, uh, ring?

Brass

We've been pulling bodies out of this neighborhood twice a month it seems like.

Grissom

I think that's actually an improvement.

Wendy

I have a question. How do you have sex with the person who killed your daughter?

Grissom

Revenge is an act of passion.