Gil Grissom quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Grissom

Linens and towels from The Sphere on top of the washing machine, and what I believe to be sheets from the motel inside the dryer. Both positive presumptive for blood.

Nick

Think they were being smart taking the sheets, or did they just get off sleeping on 'em?

Warrick

Either way, they were sick and dangerous.

Grissom

What does that say about whoever killed them?

Someday, you're going to need me or my buddies at a scene... and wouldn't you know it, we all hit traffic on the way.

Grissom

Is that how you do your job, officer?

Have a safe night.

Greg

So I ran the blood you found on the gun through CODIS... on my own time... of which I have precious little...

Grissom

Greg, why do you always trail off like that?

Greg

Because you make me nervous.

Brass

Well, the rancher's going to get off, Linda's dead, and Wolfie... skates with a misdemeanor.

Catherine

We took one look at those furry suits and thought "foul play," but this was really just a domestic dispute gone mad.

Grissom

Fur and loathing in Las Vegas.

You don't keep any secrets, Mr. Grissom? Not even from your wife?

Grissom

[amused] I used to. I'm trying to change.

Grissom

Here comes the press. You're on. I wish I could help but I got a vehicle to process.

C'mon, Grissom. Bomb goes off and everyone thinks it's a hit. What do you think?

Grissom

I'm not thinkin'. I'm lookin'.

That's good. Can I use that?

Sara

Clothing, $85. Earrings, $30. Latte, $4. Getting away with murder...

Grissom

Priceless.

Grissom

Apis mellifera.

Sara

We're looking for another body.

Grissom

Sad, isn't it doc? Guys like us, couple of middle aged men who have allowed their work to consume their lives. The only time we ever touch other people is when we are wearing our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then all of a sudden we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up, somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her. But we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it, but you did. You risked it all. And she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? But then she took it away and gave it to somebody else, and you were lost. So you took her life, you killed them both and now you have nothing.

I'm still here.

Grissom

Are you?

Grissom

Sara?

Sara

Hmm?

Grissom

Do you have any duct tape in your kit?

Sara

Yeah, that's what I use to keep it together.

Before this goes any deeper I wanna hear it from you, are you gonna try and screw me on this? [Grissom doesn't say anything] Well?

Grissom

Well, I guess that depends on whether or not I get stuck in traffic on the way to your hearing.

Catherine

We're mid-case. Why do we have to do this now?

Grissom

Well, unless I get this evaluation in, I'm gonna get written up.

Catherine

Okay. My goals...Oh, all right, okay, for starters, I'd like two consecutive nights off. I would like to cut my triples down to 10 instead of the usual 20, and I would love to find a reliable babysitter so I could have myself some kind of a personal life.

Grissom

You don't have a personal life?

Catherine

Write this down: I haven't had sex in six - no, seven months!

Grissom

How can I help?

Grissom

You... Advance, I mean. You... have any interest in changing sections in the lab? For instance.

Catherine

Gil, how do you do this? Honestly, how do you juggle scheduling and vacations and time...

Grissom

The goal of any supervisor is to teach someone to take his place someday.

Catherine

Are you goin' some place?

Grissom

You never know.

Catherine

Are you considering me?

Grissom

Why not? You're certainly qualified. [She gets up to leave] But a CSI who uses the DNA lab to establish her own paternity calls into question her judgement. Don't you think?

Catherine

You left that out. Ar-are you covering for me?

Grissom

I believe that we dealt with this issue, handled it internally. As far as I'm concerned it's dead. And besides you'll never do it again. So, just sign your name by the red X.

Catherine

Before I sign, um... since we're putting all of our cards on the table there's something you should know, Sam Braun wrote me a check and I cashed it.

Grissom

For how much?

Catherine

Enough where Lindsey and I can do anything, and not enough to where we can do nothing.

Grissom

Sam Braun was a suspect in one of your murder cases, how does this not look like a pay off?

Catherine

I consulted a lawyer. It's a check from a father to a daughter it is completely out of departmental jurisdiction.

Grissom

What about conflict of interest? Not just for you but for this lab.

Catherine

Gil, I would never you or the lab.

Grissom

[Cutting her off and getting angry] Maybe not legally, but ethically? [She sighs and looks at her lap and then back at him] What else should I know, Catherine?

Catherine

That's everything. [She signs the sheet and leaves]

Brass

Hey, look what I found. A knife with blood on it.

Grissom

Look what I found. Dead guy.

Catherine

You okay?

Grissom:

I'm fine. (she turns his head to the right to see his neck injury)

Catherine

Nasty. Kinda looks like a hickey. (Grissom makes a face and pushes her hand away) You wanna tell me what got this party started?

Grissom

I scraped his nails.

Catherine

That's it?

Warrick

What do you think, Grissom? Been down here at least 3 years? (Grissom sniffs, around it)

Grissom

It's probably more than 3 years.

Brass

You're kiddin' me, right?

Grissom

Rule of thumb is if the skull smells bad it's usually under 3 years. But this one smells like dirt.