Gil Grissom quotes from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

Sara

You know you pulled me away from a forensic anthropology seminar, right? It's required. It's part of the continuing education program.

Grissom

Well, I'm sorry, but everyone seems to have something to do today. I have a teenager who was run over by a taxi. He wasn't hit by it; that's not what killed him. He was stabbed, fatally. For now, I have no ID, no suspects and no primary crime scene. I need you.

Grissom

How would you like to be part of an experiment?

Judy

I- I'm a secretary, besides, I heard what you did to Greg's feet.

Grissom

You'll keep your shoes on, I swear.

Grissom

We're gonna have to dismantle this piece by piece.

Catherine

Yeah.

Grissom

I'll get a foreman.

Catherine

I think I can handle this.

Grissom

You know about meat grinders?

Catherine

Well, everything's pretty much plumbing. Male into female parts. Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

Catherine

That's not all they're missing.

Grissom

You know, ravens, like eagles, have been known to travel 30 miles from roost to feeding ground.

Catherine

30 miles in every direction. Pi-r-squared. That means that we're looking at a ... 2,800 mile search area.

Grissom

"Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore."

Catherine

We're up a tree and you're quoting Poe. Give me something.

Look, everyone tries to get an edge in this business. I use jokes.

Grissom

Dead guy. Not funny.

Warrick

You know it's illegal in the state of Nevada to have venomous snakes?

If you handle them correctly, snakes are harmless. I know what I'm doing.

Grissom

Yeah, that's what we're afraid of.

You going to arrest me for blurring the lines?

Grissom

No. We were leaning towards murder.

Warrick

You ever buy a brand-new car, Griss?

Grissom

Depreciation doesn't make it a logical investment.

Warrick

It's not about logic. It's about that smell. There's nothing like the smell of a brand-new car.

Warrick

This guy has been in Mat's house.

Grissom

What is this?

Warrick

Mat's team won this three years ago. This trophy was given to the rec center last year. I found all this stuff in Jacobs' car. Look at this.

Grissom

If this is evidence, it needs to be tagged and cataloged.

Warrick

This is the same guy who shot Mat's daughter in the head and he's walking around laughing at us.

Grissom

Can you prove that?

Warrick

What is this? I've been putting guys away like this for years. And now that it matters it's like that you're holding me back here.

Grissom

Your job, Warrick, is to process the evidence. Objectively and without prejudice.

Warrick

I'm so tired of hearing that. I've heard it a million times. I can't be like you, I'm not a robot, ok? I, actually, care about this people.

Grissom

Y'know what? You're not working on this case anymore. I have another assignment for you tomorrow.

Warrick

Keep it.

Grissom

Greg, how many licks are take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Greg

The world may never know.

Warrick

Just see if you get some DNA off this stick, would you?

Greg

All work and no play makes Greg a dull boy.

Grissom

All play and no work makes Greg an unemployed boy.

Warrick

I blew it.

Grissom

Yeah. But you're not the one who's paying for it.

Grissom

May we come in?

Lady Heather

Say the magic word...

Brass

Warrant.

Brass

We are going back to Lady Heather's.

Grissom

I can take care of this myself.

Brass

Gil, do me a favor. Get a sport car. It's a lot cheaper and easier to handle.

Lady Heather

Unfortunately the language we speak in here doesn't necessarily translate to the world out there.

Grissom

No, in here, the submissive has the power... all he has to do is say the safety word and everything stops.

Lady Heather

Very good, Mr. Grissom.

Grissom

I'm just repeating what I've heard.

Lady Heather

You're a good listener.

Grissom

Part of the job.

Lady Heather

So, this is work?

Grissom

Yes, but I value your insight.

Lady Heather

I'm flattered...but you already seem to know the answers to your questions. You keep me in proximity when I walk away [She moves closer to him] and when I'm close you watch my lips. Are you losing your hearing?

Grissom

I'm losing my balance.

Lady Heather

Your sense of self?

Grissom

No, I know who I am.

Lady Heather

Do you?

Grissom

Yes... I do. [He touches one side of her cheek with one hand then the other with his other hand] You can always say "stop".

Lady Heather

So can you.

Death: the cheapest show in Vegas.

Grissom

Yeah. it doesn't suprise me. Remember the MGM fire? We found people burned to their slot machines cause they wouldn't leave the action.

Only in Vegas.