Do you know how long it's been since I've had sex?
Two years.
[A little affronted] Seven months.
S4 E3Bed Time
Bed thieves are operating in your area. Secure all doors and windows and make a large pile of raggy dolls in the centre of your duvet.
[Singing] I'm Susan, the happy trotting elf! I trot and trot and bounce and bounce! I smile a lot and that's what counts! I'm Suuuusan! The happy, trotting, smile-a-lotting elf! I'm polite, so just for clarity, when I'm cross I say "apparent-LY!" I'm Suuuusan, the happy, trotting, smile-a-lotting--! [Falls off couch]
[Folds arms]
S4 E4Circus of the Epidurals
[Steve, Patrick, and Oliver are at an ante-natal class]
Right, the question of pain relief.
Yes
Absolutely.
Sorted.
So how are we supposed to pad this out?
[Looks over at Susan] I suppose we could discuss the different methods.
Drugs.
Yeah, drugs.
Sorted.
S4 E5The Naked Living Room
Actually I prefer videos.
What?
I prefer porn in video form, it's more realistic. Do you have any of those?
S4 E6Nine and a Half Months
Sometimes a man is faced with the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. And he only misses by one.
Did you sleep with Jane?
All right, before I say anything that might inadvertently seem to confirm or deny that fact, yes I did. [Quickly realising what he has just said] Damn it!
[Trying to encourage Oliver to sleeping with Jane] Just look at her. She's a beautiful, sexy woman and she's never had an orgasm. Well there's your challenge, your Everest.
What are you waiting for, Oliver? Mount Jane! [Realises what he said] That wasn't actually meant to sound like instruction...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Coupling pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.