Community · Season 6
[Thirty standard galactic time units later...]
So sad what happened here, all those centons ago.
So sad. So preventable.
Space Elder Abed, can you reach backwards with your mind and save our species?
I can.
I'm Space Elder Britta! [pause] What are you guys talking about?
Names. Give me names or you're expelled; that's simple.
I told ya, I don't know nothing about no secret paintball games. This is from huffing paint, I swear!
Escort Alex Osborne off campus.
Hey, hey, hey! Hold your horse panties! You didn't tell me you knew my name! Look, I was about to take Todd out and then we both got shot. Guy was invisible - a ghost. Uses silver bullets.
A ghost. So no name?
I'd call him "Silver Ghost", but that's probably already taken by an indie comic book or a terrible tequila.
Bye forever, Starburns.
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Do you want flashy forward, or cherry and classic?
Do you have black?
[Annie gives a beleaguered sigh]
That's a no. That beleaguered sigh means, "no, I can't have black nails".
Don't look at the camera.
You absolutely can, and we all will when our bodies decompose.
Please don't Jim the camera like that.
Jim the camera?
The color black hasn't had anything to do with death or edginess since '89. My accountant has black nails.
Your what?!
Don't jump on that. My accountant; it's a figure of speech.
It's a form of speech called "making things up".
[there's a knock on Abed's apartment door]
Abed, can you get that?
I can film you getting it.
It's open!
Is it?
I dunno; let's see.
[Frankie walks through the door holding her dress on a hanger]
Frankie!
So I didn't put my wedding clothes on, like you said. So we can get dressed together and be girls together. This is gonna be fun.
[cut to Frankie's interview with Abed]
Annie and Britta told me to come over and get ready with them for Garrett's wedding. I didn't say no. Who says no to something like that? A cold, off-putting, incompatible person. The kind of person that turns a sleepover into a-a-a stoning. I had rocks thrown at me. Biblical, igneous, jagged, hateful, pointy, ninja rocks, and that's not gonna happen again.
There is skill to it. More importantly, it has to be joyful, effortless, fun. TV defeats its own purpose when it’s pushing an agenda or trying to defeat other TV, or being proud or ashamed of itself for existing. It’s TV. It’s comfort. It’s a friend you’ve known so well and for so long. You just let it be with you. And it needs to be okay for it to have a bad day, or phone in a day. And it needs to be okay for it to get on a boat with Levar Burton and never come back…because eventually, it all will.
[Britta starts crying]
I’m fine.
[sobbing] I know… It’s not just that… It’s just such a classic mistake, but…I got really attached to my pitch. I had a soundtrack in my head and everything…
I mean, what shows repeat after season 6?
Simpsons, Seinfeld, South Park, Friends...
Those shows weren't hemorrhaging characters every year.
I love that I got to be with you guys.
Gay.
You saved my life, and changed it forever.
Gayyyy!
Thank you.
[the group embrace for one final group hug]
[sobbing] I'm gay... I'm for real gay... I'M LEGIT GAY...!
[last lines of the series]
I got it! The whole show is happening inside this game!
Then explain this! [holds up a small booklet]
What is it?
It's a script... of a fake commercial at the end of season six starring this family...
Sorry, Dad; guess I win.
You stupid child. Nobody's winning anything. Don’t you see? This means we don't exist. We're not created by God; we're created by a joke. We were never born, and we will never actually live.
[The family falls into silence mixed with confusion and astonishment and stare at the table as the camera zooms out to the box of Community: The Game board game.]
Dice not included. Some assembly required. Lines between perception, desire, and reality may become blurred, redundant, or interchangeable. Characters may hook up with no regard for your emotional investment. Some episodes too conceptual to be funny. Some too funny to be immersive, and some so immersive they still aren't funny. Consistency between seasons may vary. Viewers may be measured by a secretive obsolete system based on selected participants keeping handwritten journals of what they watch. Show may be cancelled and moved to the internet where it turns out tens of millions were watching the whole time. May not matter. Fake commercial may end with disclaimer gag which may descend into vain Chuck Lorre-esque rant by narcissistic creator. Creator may be unstable. Therapist may have told creator this is not how you make yourself a good person. Life may pass by while we ignore and mistreat those close to us. Those close to us may be those watching. Those people may want to know I love them but I may be incapable of saying it. ...Contains pieces the size of a child's esophagus.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Community pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
