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SEASON 5

Community · Season 5

Community Season 5 quotes

36 quotes · page 3 of 3

S5 E12Basic Story

[Jeff enters the study room to find Britta sitting at the table alone]

Hey.

Hey.

So...what are you gonna do?

I'm thinking I'm gonna transfer to City College, but I'm knowing I'm gonna be a bartender. You?

Subway offered me a job.

Nice! [quick pause] I'm worried about Abed and Annie. They're not ready for this to end.

Yeah, they're part of the "adulthood begins at 30" generation. I'm...I'm actually looking forward to a little bit of-

Sanity?

Yes! Sanity. Yeah, I mean, it's over, but on the other hand, it's over.

Amen. And to think, this all started because you wanted to-

Nail you. [chuckles] Yeah, I regret nothing.

Don't. I mean, after everything that's happened here, what did either of us get done aside from each other?

Exactly, and what are either of us gonna be leaving...with...?

[pause]

"Um...I should go clean out my locker," she said at the age of 33...

[Britta gets up and starts to leave, but Jeff stops her]

Let's get married.

What?

Yeah, right? I mean, this is what matters, right? This is what keeps people from being pointless! Let's do what people do. Let's get a house we can't afford, and a dog that makes us angry.

And dedicate an entire cabinet to grocery bags and realize we have a favorite brand of olive oil?

Yes; marry me.

Okay, yeah.

[they both embrace and kiss]

Yeah...uh, yeah, this feels...right. Let's get out of here and never look back.

Yeah, but first, let's lock these doors and pull these shades. We've never had sex on the new table.

Yes, two for two! Medium roughness, high tempo?

Let's make it a number eight.

[suddenly, Dean Pelton, Abed, and Annie burst in the room]

BURIED TREASURE!

S5 E13Basic Sandwich

So we're trapped in here forever. Or at least until we run out of food and water.

At least we'll have each other.

Till death do us part...

You know what? You guys can have my food and water.

You're here to save me, aren't you?

Let's get out of here and never look back.

Jeff, in case you have to remember me, can I give you some options for voice-over quotes?

Shut up, Abed.

M'lady.

M'lord.

Did we save Greendale? Did we just save Greendale?!

CCarl

No! No, you did not! You moved dirt around Greendale's grave! Your school is still bankrupt, it is still unmarketable, and is still on the permanent chopping block of anyone who has any say in its future!

Yeah? Well, around here, we call that Wednesday.

Hey, after I was electrocuted, didn't you two say you were gonna get married?

Doesn't "electrocuted" technically mean "killed"?

Do you always have to correct people like that?

Do you always have to police correcting?

That's it; the marriage is off.

I think you mean the wedding is off.

JBJeff & Britta

Yeah! [they high-five]

We live to fight another day.

Speaking of days, I never got a chance to wish you a happy birthday. Or Halloween, or Christmas, or any other specific calendar event.

Well, maybe next year.

Definitely. We'll definitely be back next year. If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilization. [Looks straight into camera] And that's canon.

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