Nelson Hayward quotes from Columbo

Nelson Hayward

I've been calling the papers. I called your commissioner's office from Fresno. But what's being done, Lieutenant?

Lt. Columbo

Uh.

Nelson Hayward

Sit down, sit down.

Lt. Columbo

So far, sir, we don't have a thing.

Nelson Hayward

Oh, that's disheartening.

Lt. Columbo

Officially, that is.

Nelson Hayward

And unofficially?

Lt. Columbo

Unofficially we don't have anything either.

Nelson Hayward

Why, Lieutenant, are you considering a change in wardrobe?

Lt. Columbo

Oh no, no. Oh, well, every once in a while I think of getting a new coat. There's no rush on that, sir. There's still a lot of wear in this fella.

Nelson Hayward

Looks very functional.

Lt. Columbo

Thank you.

Lt. Columbo

Would you believe it, the first thing I did this morning when I left your campaign headquarters, I run right over to your tailor's.

Nelson Hayward

[laughing] I'm sure he was delighted. He loves a challenge.

Lt. Columbo

What do you mean, sir?

Nelson Hayward

Nothing. It's a small joke.