Ken Franklin quotes from Columbo

[after Columbo exposes him as the murderer] You want to know the irony of all this? That is my idea. The only really good one I ever had. I must've told it to Jim over five years ago. Who ever thought that idiot would write it down?

Lt. Columbo

Hey, I'm sorry. I'm making a pest of myself.

Naw!

Lt. Columbo

Yes, yes, I am! I know, it's because I keep asking these questions, but I'll tell ya, I can't help myself. It's a habit.

Lt. Columbo

So you don't think I'm going to be able to find a cabin to rent, huh?

Best bet is to go down and check with some of the local real estate people.

Lt. Columbo

Uh huh. Because I think it would be fun to be neighbors for a couple of weeks.

[laughs] Yeah.

Now, wait a minute. You, you look like you're troubled. Is there some reason for your question?

Lt. Columbo

Uh, it's your mail.

My mail?

Lt. Columbo

Isn't it funny how people are different? Now, me, if I found my partner dead I'd never think of opening my letters.

But I-I-I just did it to distract myself. I mean you gotta remember one thing. That's a great shock.

Lt. Columbo

Oh, that's understandable. And bills are distracting.

Lt. Columbo

I don't understand.

Well, that's painfully obvious. One of these men had Jim killed.

Lt. Columbo

Really? Why?

Tell me something-- how long have you been a lieutenant, Lieutenant? Mrs. Melville would have put that together like that. [snaps his fingers]

Lt. Columbo

Look, I, I wanna take all the help I can get.

I'll tell you something, Lieutenant. See, if Mrs. Melville were on this case, oh, she'd be leaps and bounds ahead of you by now.

Lt. Columbo

Is that the lady in the books?