Milo Janus quotes from Columbo

Milo Janus

In two months, I'll be at my villa overlooking the Adriatic with two million in Swiss francs to keep me warm.

Milo Janus

What's he doing here?

Well, you know that introductory thirty day offer we've been pushing on television?

Milo Janus

Yeah.

That's what he's doing here.

Lt. Columbo

Mr. Janus, how you doin'! Listen, I gotta tell you, this is terrific! I'm starting to feel like a new man already.

Milo Janus

Fine, fine Columbo.

Lt. Columbo

Of course, you know, I've only been on for about 20 minutes.

Milo Janus

[after watching Columbo light his cigar] Your health program didn't last very long, did it?

Lt. Columbo

Long enough.

Milo Janus

You know something, Columbo, you're a devious man.

Lt. Columbo

That's what they tell me.

Milo Janus

I don't care what you think. I don't care what you suspect. I don't care what visions you see when you look at your cigar ashes because I'm innocent. I have an alibi for the time Gene Stafford died and you can huff and puff on that rotten cigar until next July and you'll never prove otherwise.

Lt. Columbo

I wouldn't count on that.

Milo Janus

What the hell gives you the right, Columbo?

Lt. Columbo

This, sir. This is a warrant. This gives me the right.

Lt. Columbo

You removed the bulb on the phone in the living room so the line wouldn't light up because if 6901 lit up the people there would know that you were talking from the phone in the study.

Milo Janus

Guesswork, supposition, more cigar ashes. What you need is proof. That what you need-- proof.

Lt. Columbo

It didn't take me 'til July, but I got the proof.