Tommy Brown quotes from Columbo

Tommy Brown

You're a sanctimonious hypocrite of a Bible-spouting blackmailer and I've given you your last chance to be fair!

May God forgive me for letting a devil help me build a temple.

Tommy Brown

And what if your devil quits? What are you gonna do?

Tommy Brown

And I guess this, all this looks kinda bad, huh? This big house and this party goin' on, everything?

Lt. Columbo

No sir. No sir, it's kinda refreshing. You see, in my line of work, homicide, somebody is always, well, dead. That's the only way to put it. I mean they don't even call us in unless that's what it is, somebody dead. So naturally I see a lot of grief.

Tommy Brown

Now why would anybody want to kill me?

Lt. Columbo

Mr. Brown, I don't know. But you are a celebrity and there are a lot of crackpots in the world and there's just no accounting for people's reactions. I mean sometimes I even wonder about my wife. Not that she's a crackpot.

Lt. Columbo

I noticed that the arrangement was changed.

Tommy Brown

You've got a good ear for music.

Lt. Columbo

Well, you know I'm Italian.

Lt. Columbo

Where did you first learn how to fly?

Tommy Brown

Lieutenant, I thought you knew my whole life history by now.

Lt. Columbo

Oh no, no. Uh, you know, people think we got all kinds of records on microfilms, all we gotta do is push a button and, uh...

Tommy Brown

Well, don't you?

Lt. Columbo

[pause] Yes, we do. But not everything.

Tommy Brown

Aren't you afraid, being up here alone with a killer?

Lt. Columbo

No sir. No sir, I had a feeling that, sooner or later... Sooner or later, you would've confessed even if I hadn't caught you.

Tommy Brown

Yeah, you're right, Lieutenant, I would've. 'Cause it was getting to me and I'm glad it's over.

Lt. Columbo

Listen... Any man who can sing like that can't be all bad.