Leslie quotes from Columbo

Leslie

You know Columbo, you're almost likeable in a shabby sort of way. Maybe it's the way you come slouching in here with your shopworn bag of tricks.

Lt. Columbo

Me? Tricks?

Leslie

The humility, the seeming absentmindedness, the homey anecdotes about the family, the wife, you know.

Lt. Columbo

Really?

Leslie

Yeah, Lt. Columbo fumbling and stumbling along but it's always the jugular that he's after. And I imagine that more often than not he's successful.

Leslie

Lt. Columbo?

Lt. Columbo

Yeah?

Leslie

Thank you for straightening Margaret out. I appreciate it.

Lt. Columbo

Oh, it was the only thing I could do. I mean I just can't have you accused of murder on the wrong evidence.

Leslie

Now, when their attorney cross examines you about the accident, cry.

About what?

Leslie

Everything, especially when he asks you how fast you were going when you hit their car.

Lt. Columbo

Say, you know the soap you have in the bathroom, the ones shaped like little lemons?

Leslie

Yes.

Lt. Columbo

Well, I was almost afraid to use them.

Leslie

But that's what they're there for, Lieutenant, to be used.

Lt. Columbo

Well, if you don't mind my asking, when you use one and you put it back in the plate, how do you keep it from sticking to the others?

Leslie

It's a problem.

Lt. Columbo

That's what I figured.