Mary quotes from Code Monkeys

Mary

Well, if it isn't the team that brought us the Ishtar of video games!

Clare

Ha ha ha ha, that's funny, because Ishtar was a big failure!

Dave

Not to worry, ladies. We stole the truckload of games. All 100,000 of them. High-fives all around, and then Mary, and uh...Clare, I'm gonna need a BJ from the both of you.

Mary

Truckload? 100,000? That was JUST the first batch, you jack-holes! We shipped over four million of those things! It's the biggest video game shipment IN HISTORY!

Jerry

Maybe the kids won't notice that it sucks. I mean, they're just kids, right?

Dean

Hey, I just saw the first screening of E.T. I'm not one for emotions or anything but, that little alien changed the way I... [starts crying, then stops] What's that turd?

Mary

That is Dave and Jerry's E.T. game.

Dean

[loses hearts as he talks] You...how could you?! You don't know anything about E.T.! You don't love E.T.! You didn't even see the movie, did you?!

Dave

No, I didn't. And I know you're all mad at me because I screwed up the game. But you know what I did do? I went to a strip club. You know what that means? That means that I saw naked women. And they shook their asses THIS close to my face. For money. Sure, I could have gone to that movie, but then I wouldn't have seen all those naked women. At the strip club. With the boobs. In my face. Now ask yourselves, can you blame me? And besides, isn't that what you would have wanted me to do?

Grrrr...

Dave

Yeah, we gotta stop that truck before it drops all those games off. We'll take my car!

Jerry

Dave, you don't have a car.

Mary

What the hell were we supposed to learn from all of this, other than that Todd's sad life can cause a man to kill himself?

Clare

I learned that stealing is wrong. And prisoners, like everyone else, love me.

Dave

And Clare, my dear, you doth learned the Golden Rule: whores are loved everywhere and in every position.

Jerry

Hey, that reminds me, where the hell is Clarence?

Dave

This has my vote as "best day ever"!

Mary

Oh yeah!

Dave

Dude, your rectum is gone. That is no bueno.

You like a massage?

Mary

Dean, are you okay?

Dean

Yeah, he just ran over my head. My head holds up pretty good to vans.

Yes, "boobies", what?

Mary

Don't you think it's possible this could be a trap? I mean, Takeda Matsui is the head of Protendo.

And...

Mary

And you killed his brother?

When was that?

Mary

It was seven weeks ago!

Jerry

Hi honey, I'm home!

Mary

Where's my dinner, bitch?

Jerry

Ow! Ow, stop it! Stop it, you're a monster!

Mary

Wait a minute. The solution to our problem is all around us. The mall! This place is filled with employment opportunities.

Dave

Show us your tits or get the fuck off the stage!