Dean, Mary and others in “E.T.”

Hey, I just saw the first screening of E.T. I'm not one for emotions or anything but, that little alien changed the way I... [starts crying, then stops] What's that turd?

That is Dave and Jerry's E.T. game.

[loses hearts as he talks] You...how could you?! You don't know anything about E.T.! You don't love E.T.! You didn't even see the movie, did you?!

No, I didn't. And I know you're all mad at me because I screwed up the game. But you know what I did do? I went to a strip club. You know what that means? That means that I saw naked women. And they shook their asses THIS close to my face. For money. Sure, I could have gone to that movie, but then I wouldn't have seen all those naked women. At the strip club. With the boobs. In my face. Now ask yourselves, can you blame me? And besides, isn't that what you would have wanted me to do?

Grrrr...

Yeah, we gotta stop that truck before it drops all those games off. We'll take my car!

Dave, you don't have a car.