Big T Larrity quotes from Code Monkeys

They don't call me "Shoot First and Ask Questions Larrity" for nothing!

Okay, well, that happened.

If I had a sister, I'd bang the hell outta her. And I've spilt enough blood to know it's thicker than water. Now I have to go drop off an orphan in the woods. And that ain't a poop joke.

Listen, I don't know anything about video games, but I heard you two were my star programmers. So I am hellbent on having you boys continue to do what's really important.

Dave

Making sweet-ass video games and getting messed up on hooch? Yeah!

No, you goofy-looking cow turd, making me money! I love money. I've got a blowup doll made of money that I make sweet love to every night.

Dave

That's messed up.

My love of money has helped me succeed in women's coats, novelty items, and now video games! There are three things Big T don't much cotton to: bats, turtles, and people who fuck with my money!

Clarence

Hey boys, it's me, Clarence. It's your best friend in the world, who happens to be gay. Oooo!

Whoa! And whatever the hell that thing was.

Dave

That's four.

Jerry

Shut up Dave!

So if you boys fuck up, then we got ourselves a little problema. Looking forward to working with you two gentlemen. Excuse me, boys, those bats is good eating. YEEHAW!

Dave

I know. You're probably pissed at Jerry.

Pissed?! You boys took my car, I'd be less pissed if you fed me my own ass on a ciabatta!

I did not know they were cooking meth in the back of that bondage club!

Stop it! You're under arrest for tax evasion.

Whew, talk about dodging bullets.

YEEEEE HAAAAA! I feel like dancing me a hoe-down!

Benny

Say what?

Haha! I love it! Life tastes sweeter when you're being hunted!

Benny

Round one: Manly Man vs. Todd the fat sack of cow shit, who's also gay and I hate him and so I hope he die an' his nuts pop!

Do the manly man slam! Do the manly man slam!

Benny

Round Two! In this corner, the "Ice Wall", Sergai the Giant vs. Todd, who still smells like cow shit and I still hope his other nut pop!

Todd

Ooooh. My nuts...my guts...

I'll trade you five bags of sugar for the company.

Benny

Six bags.

It's a deal!

Benny

Heh heh heh...you stupid round eye...

Yes, "boobies", what?

Mary

Don't you think it's possible this could be a trap? I mean, Takeda Matsui is the head of Protendo.

And...

Mary

And you killed his brother?

When was that?

Mary

It was seven weeks ago!

Clarence

[singing] Going down.

Oh right, Clarence insisted on coming too.

Clarence

[singing] I always insist on coming.

Thank you, that's disgusting.

Let's try some word association: Cat.

Garfield.

Dolphins.

Intelligent.

Shoes.

Intelligent again! 3 for 3!

Marriage.

Murder...

Swimming pools.

Water murder.

Orphanage.

Arson.

Dean

Yo dad, when I was little you used to say you shoulda had me adopted.

And now I'm finally glad nobody wanted you, 'cause you're a gosh darn genius! We gots to get Benny adopted!

Dean

Did ya hear that? My dad thinks I'm a genus! A group of organisms that share a common characteristic! What's up?!