I die now. All right, please please please let there be angels.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I have been hanging out quite a lot with my friends Transfer Billy and Stacy Megan. Yeah, and it's great.
It's a lie is what it is.
You're a bush is what you is—are.
When everyone got showers in their home, I bet this is what caused the "Sexual Revolution." First, daily showers, then privates went into the nearest mouths, now butt holes are getting jealous of the Christmas kisses.
MThe Mayor
Mayor got a new law, new law! From here on, anchovy eating is banned in Mayor's Church of Pizza. Do it at home, behind closed doors, because in the eyes of God, the only topping that is right and traditional to be eaten on a bed of dough in the church is pepperoni.
BBilly
B.C. is just a repressed, full-on anchovy-eater, like I was before.
It makes sense. If he wants anchovies, me must have the anchovy gene, right?
BBilly
His love for pepperoni—it's all been a lie.
Then I'm the greatest liar ever.
I heard that nature was just really like a really hard video game: gotta keep on dying and restarting until you master it.
[Doctor Mother reveals she is marrying the Rock.]
What? No, I thought you wanted to get back with Dad!
DMDoctor Mother
Get over it! Arrgghh—sorry, I should eat.
RThe Rock
Baby Cakes, your mom is a great lover. She is the best at sucking—
Shut up!
RThe Rock
—the Rock off.
[In a fantasy scene as he and others play Dungeons & Dragons] Y'all know I just play to try and fuck some elves, right?
OMOne of Muhammad Ali's Daughters
My dad says he's so bad he should change his first name to Breaking. [The caption reads, "Ali attempts to reference 'Breaking Bad' in quip."] Dad, that sucked. What? No, no. My dad says he's so fast he travels 299,792 kilometers per second. Dad, no.
EBEaster Bunny
Yes! Finally, there ain't no caca! This territory is mine!
[Attacking the Easter Bunny] You die!
EBEaster Bunny
Please stop!
Fuck you! Fuck you! I will fucking kill you! [Screaming and tearing up] This world sucks—Easter Bunnies and dead husbands! Die, you fucking Easter Bunny! Die like my dead husband; die like Johnny! I was relieved when Johnny died; I got married to him way too quick! I felt guilty for feeling like this for so long! [Pony pauses as she ceases her attacks.] I do miss him, though.
[Having witnessed the beating] Oh, she's a Chris Brown.
No, I'm a brown widow.
[A garbage truck deals with garbage as Pony tries to talk.]
You got to trust me. When I was at her house, [Getting louder] I saw a room with [Getting louder] a lock on it, and I bet [Yelling] Kim has been trapped in there! [Yells at the garbageman] Shut the hell up!
Kim's dead.
Oh my God, how?
Gummy bear.
Well, that one's on me, I guess.
Dean, what is this?
The talking monkey? I don't know. We got her from some now-defunct Japanese zoo. They're a dime a dozen. What isn't a dime a dozen are barrels of oil.
Japan? But her Southern accent...
[The communicator reads "Accent: Atlanta."]
She was bred in captivity, doesn't know anything, costs too much to feed; I fucking hate this monkey. I can't wait to turn him into a few miles' worth of crude oil.
Stop bothering my magical Bigfoot, you worthless, pre-oil monkey! Oh, I can't wait for Dad to take you back to the Dean.
KKKei-Ko
[Via communicator] Wait. I'm going back? No!
Kei-Ko, it's time for you to be turned into oil, just like Mother Nature intended.
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