Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Piper

(turning to Cole) What are you exactly? Ghost? Demon? Poltergist? Nightmare?

Cole

None of the above.

Phoebe

I'm feeling a little...

Piper

Bummed? Yeah, I know. Nina, or Katya I'm assuming, said that it was the first wave of sorrow from the box.

Hey, this is Chris? My gosh, he's so small... Hey little brother. Is this before or after he swallowed the marble?

Piper

Marble? What marble?

Phoebe

Easy on the future information.

Of course, you're right.

Piper

No, but really...what marble?

Wyatt

Ok. But, until we find out why magic brought me back, we can at least try and enjoy the moment, right?

Piper

How do you become such an optimist?

Wyatt

From you, mom (Paige laughs)

Paige

Ha!! You must turn over a new leaf on the future...

Piper

Don't count on it!!

Piper

Ok, fine! Then you wouldn't mind ID'ing the demon so we can keep you happy and healthy. (Wyatt is reluctant and wants to keep arguing)

Piper

Don't make me ground you!!

Wyatt

all right, all right...

Enough! (The demons stop) Leave my family alone. (Fires a powerful energy blast that throws the demons back then disintegrates them, overturning other objects in the attic)

Leo

Are you all right up there? (Piper stares up at Wyatt in amazement)

Piper

Oh, yeah! We're fine...

Piper

I'm very sorry you went back to college.

Phoebe

I know, but it's really helping me with my column. And that has absolutely nothing to do with why Wyatt is creating demons.

Piper

He's not creating demons!

Phoebe

Let's see, maybe it's a reaction to preschool... Some kind of Freudian transference or something?

Piper

Mumbo-Jumbo!

Leo

I'm his father. He is not gonna hurt me.

Phoebe

No? Ever read Hamlet?

Leo

Hamlet kills his stepfather.

Phoebe

Close enough. Freud says that acording to..

Piper

(exasperated with psychology-Phoebe) Woman, canned it!!

Paige

Do you think Wyatt is creating these demons?

Piper

That's ridiculous!

Paige

Well, he created the dragons.

Piper

One! One lousy dragon, and you're gonna hold it against him for his entire life!

Phoebe

Those demons do have a way of keeping you warm at night.

Piper

Yeah, but that's only because they have fireballs.

Piper

Wasn't there a confidence spell in the Book of Shadows?

Phoebe

Yeah. Remember, we cast it on that waiter at Quake?

Piper

Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago.

Piper

Last year you had a premonition that you would have a daughter which means that this year you have to have a little sex and get pregnant. And since Dex, which coincidentally rhymes with sex, could be the father!

Phoebe

GOD!

Piper

They think I'm somebody else.

Phoebe

Well, you are somebody else.

Piper

I know, but I'm not a fugitive. That's not the alias that I picked, at least not intentionally.

Billie

Can't we vanquish him?

Piper

We don't usually vanquish humans.

Piper

I think the only way to save Maya is to get him to confess to the murder somehow.

Paige

Oh, that happens before or after hell freezes over?