Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Paige

Well, maybe try a different yoga instructor.

Piper

It wasn't the instructor, it was all those women showing off their sonogram pictures. And it was just working on my last nerve. Like 'look it's Jasper's first photo and it's gonna go on the fridge in a magnetic frame that says Jasper's first photo!'

Leo

Okay, I thought prenatal yoga was supposed to help you relax.

Paige

I'm just a big, dumb, fat unemployed loser.

Piper

No, Paige, you're a big, fat, dumb, unemployed loser who saves the world.

Paige

Uh gross, what are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?

Piper

The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely I'm not feeling the joy.

Piper

Wow pre-natal yoga this morning and now you wanna crash a stranger's funeral. You really do need friends.

Paige

You're mean.

Leo

Well, what happens when they check the security camera to find out why the sonogram machine blew up like it did with Phoebe's baby?

Piper

Phoebe's baby was a demon, ours is an angel for crying out loud.

Piper

Hi! I am off to yoga and then to the salon for a manicure and pedicure. There's a cherry pie cooling on the counter and I will be on my cell.

Paige

Uh uh. Prenatal police lady. Put the mug down, step away from the coffee.

Piper

It's herbal tea. I'm on a natural high today.

Piper

Ah, Jinxed! I should have know this was going to happen. It's the story of my life, when everything is going great something will inevitably happen that will ruin it.

Paige

A little spider did all that to you?

Piper

Oh, you just wait, you will see.

Cole

Please, you've got to help me.

Piper

See?

Paige

What does this Barbas do? What's his thing?

Piper

He brings really bad things to life.

Phoebe

Okay people, time to get over our fears right now!!

Piper

Easy for you to say. You're not facing killer spiders!

Phoebe

Neither are you.

Phoebe

Paige, orb the potion.

Paige

It's in a puddle.

Piper

You can do it, Prue did.

Ay, there's the rub. You're no Prue, are you?

Piper

He works with numbers all day. You know how Phoebe is with math. They have absolutely nothing in common.

Leo

You're right. We- we should just vanquish him.

Piper

Oh no, they're going upstairs! Should I stop them?

Paige

No, only if you want to make a total ass of yourself - but that's up to you.

Phoebe

Okay, something really freaky happened last night when I was with Miles.

Piper

You guys are already getting freaky?

Piper

Too many spells and potions to remember, let alone defend against.

Phoebe

We're dead.

Piper

Again.

Paige

And again.

Piper

Honey?

Leo

Yeah?

Piper

Zip it.