Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Piper

Well maybe you haven't heard. There's a new Source, the old one is dead.

Paige

Yeah, we already kicked his sorry ass.

Wizard

He didn't die. He was reborn into a new sorry ass. Wait, that didn't come out right.

Paige

Alright, what's the plan?

Piper

We learn from his mistakes.

Wizard

Not mistakes. Miscalculations.

Piper

This one duplicates my freezing power, plus it scalds the flesh, so we should only use it in a dire emergency.

Paige

No! I will not scald Phoebe’s flesh!

Piper

Phoebe, you're evil. You're like the Queen of All Evil. Literally.

Phoebe

That's beside the point.

Piper

How, how, how could you do that? How could you just let him go?

Phoebe

I don't know why you're so upset, we saved the innocent, didn't we?

Piper

I can't talk to her. You talk to her!

Leo

Phoebe...

Phoebe

Things are not as black and white as they used to be, ok? I can't just go around and kill demons anymore.

Paige

Why not? We heard you just killed two last night.

Phoebe

Yeah, well that was different, he was getting on my nerves. I promised Cole I wouldn't kill anymore. And killing Malick would have been a huge betrayal.

Piper

Malick? You're on a first-name basis with the demons?

Leo

If you were just gonna order him to stop, you could have done that on your own. Why did you even come to us?

Phoebe

Because I missed you guys! Okay? Is that so wrong? I missed you!

Leo

Phoebe, you can't be the Queen of the Underworld and a Charmed One. You can't have it both ways.

Phoebe

Why not? Just because it's different doesn't mean that it can't work. And you all miss me too, even though I'm sure Piper probably doesn't want to admit it to herself.

Paige

Of course, we miss you, honey.

Phoebe

Well, you can have me back. You can have the Power of Three back. You just have to be willing to meet me halfway.

Piper

Phoebe, you can't protect the innocent and save demons. It just doesn't work that way.

Phoebe

Apparently, it does. He's alive, isn't he?

Paige

Yeah, but your friend Malick is gonna come back.

Phoebe

You don't know that.

Piper

That's what they do, Phoebe. They come back. They snarl, and come back.

Paige

Yeah, and now we have to worry about protecting him instead of trying to save you.

Phoebe

You think I need saving?

Piper

Are you kidding me? That baby inside you has corrupted you, more than you think.

Phoebe

Piper...

Piper

Don't Piper me. This is insane. What are you saying is insane. You can not come back. You can not work with us, as long as you're married to the Source.

Phoebe

So what do you want me to do?! You want me to leave my husband?!

Piper

Yes!

Phoebe

That is not fair!

Leo

It's not fair Phoebe, but you have to pick a side. Good or evil. That's how it works. Even though it means giving up someone you love, you have to choose.

Phoebe

I'm really sorry you feel that way. (she disappeares in the flame) .

Piper

I can't do this. (walks away)

Paige

What about Greg?

Oh no, not again.

Piper

This time, the Source is Cole. You really think she's going to say a little spell with us to vanquish him?

Paige

If she doesn't, we die.

Piper

Is that supposed to be comforting?

Piper

What happened?!

Phoebe

Well it's about time! My head was on fire like a tiki torch a few seconds ago.

Piper

Do not change the subject! Did your baby just electrocute the nice doctor man?!

Phoebe

Yeah, I think so. But he was just protecting himself because that gel was really cold.

Phoebe

Piper, what is going on here?

Piper

I don't know, but don't panic, we'll wrap up here and we'll go home and panic!

Piper

So let me get this straight, you summoned me to a cage where my powers don't work so we can all die together?

Paige

Well, the plan has some flaws admittedly.

Angel of Destiny

You can choose to relinquish your magic and lead normal lives again, unaccounted, free. We'd wipe the entire slate clean. Nobody would come after you again. Well, what do you say?

Piper

What do we say? Are you kidding? You can't just freeze the whole world and come in here and drop a bombshell like that and expect a quick decision.

Leo

Hey, did you just freeze me?

Piper

No dear. The Angel of Destiny did.

Piper

Havin' a crappy day?

Phoebe

Yeah.

Piper

Cole?

Phoebe

Yeah.

Angel of Destiny

By the way, thought you'd like to know, neither decision would've affected yours and Leo's personal destiny.

Piper

What?

Angel of Destiny

You'll find out soon.

Phoebe

Oh my God.

Piper

What?

Phoebe

Don't you get it?

Piper

What?

Phoebe

Don't you get it? She's pregnant!

Piper

Who's pregnant? I'm pregnant?

Phoebe

Hi baby.

Piper

Baby Book. My baby book. Oh, look how squishy I was!

Leo

Hmm, you were so adorable.

Piper

Leo, you can't even see the picture.

Leo

I'm your whitelighter, I've been watching you ever since you were a baby.

Piper

Uh huh. Yeh, see that's too creepy to think about.