Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Piper

Phoebe, let's not blow this out of proportion

Phoebe

My wedding dress could double as a circus tent, I think things are already out of proportion.

Piper

You are going to get ready, we are going to put lots and lots of makeup on you.

Paige

Oh face it, there's not spackle in the world to fill those craters.

Paige

Listen, we're not fighting each other here, we're fighting evil. We kick evil's ass every day.

Piper

Sometimes twice a day.

Phoebe

To marriage.

Piper

Hey, this is supposed to be our anniversary.

Phoebe

To Piper and Leo's marriage, may ours be as successful as theirs.

Piper

Yeh, see that still didn't sound like it was about us.

Phoebe

Speaking of looking forward... Piper, you're going on your honeymoon tonight. I think new lingerie is in order.

Piper

You always think new lingerie is in order.

Phoebe

Not for me, silly. You wanna come, Paige?

Paige

Ugh, I can't. I have to go to that evil place where they keep my paycheque.

Phoebe

Oh, right, sorry.

Phoebe

How do you spell 'oblique'?

Piper

With spellcheck.

Phoebe

Yes, Printing!

Piper

Hi, Saving!

Paige

I can't believe I destroyed the house.

Phoebe

What I can't believe is what you almost saw in the hotel room. If you had gotten there five minutes earlier...

Piper

Lalala! Oversharing.

Piper

I'll go get the book and brush up on my ghostbusting.

Paige

No, no. I'll go do it.

Piper

You just said you were late for work

Paige

Yeah, but he's a ghost, who knows where he came from, what era. He's like a piece of manhunk history.

Phoebe

Cole wants us to get our own place

Paige

What, you mean move out?

Phoebe

Yeah, you know, like normal married couples do.

Piper

We didn't.

Phoebe

Yeah, but you're not normal.

Phoebe

So what's going on, is there a demon convention in San Francisco or what?

Piper

Yes, there is a demonic electoral college, they've called a meeting and they're voting in a new source!

Piper

Maybe this is more than just being run down. Maybe you're pregnant.

Phoebe

That is funny. Actually, it's not so funny.. I went to the drugstore, I got a test, a peed on a stick and I anxiously awaited the results in two minutes.

Piper

And?

Phoebe

And, it was negative, thankfully.

Piper

Yeah, well, mine was too.

Piper

Manticore?

Phoebe

Bites, but doesn't fly.

Piper

Phoenix?

Phoebe

Flies, but doesn't bite.

Piper

Chupacabra!

Piper

We only know that Cole is dealing with demons, not that he is a demon.

Paige

If it looks like a demon and walks like a demon.

Piper

That's ducks, that's not Phoebe's husband!

Phoebe

I'm pregnant.

Piper

You're what?

Paige

Oh my God, from Cole?