Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Piper

Leo, you're a genius, what would we do without him?

Prue

Oh, I dunno. I guess our lives wouldn't be the smooth running carefree existence that they are today.

Prue

A-a-are you drinking in the middle of the day?

Piper

Well, I was a little bummed about this sin thing, so I thought I deserved a little indulgence. Would you like a bit of bubbly?

Prue

Unfortunately, what got into you was lust, as in the sin of.

Piper

What, now you think we were infected?

Prue

Hello, gluttony, table for one.

Prue

Hey! Be nice. I don't want to talk about sin tonight.

Phoebe

Me neither!

Prue

So, this is a pretty interesting band. What's their name?

Piper

Orgy.

Cole

Save it. You can't stop the brotherhood with a little research and your basic kick, freeze and magical move. No offence intended.

Piper

Some taken.

Prue

Alright, look. This whole voting together thing would be really, really cute if it weren't so annoying. I mean, maybe your guys votes should just count as one from now on.

Piper

Bet you wouldn't mind if we were voting with ya.

Piper

Well, since plan A is going so well, I'd love to hear about plan B...assuming that you have one.

Prue

I've got part of it, in the freezer.

Piper

In the freezer? Wait, we're gonna fight the brotherhood with Ben & Jerry's?

Leo

Honey, we don't need a passport to honeymoon in Paris. With a blink of an orb, we can be sipping champagne at the Champs Elysees.

Piper

Yes, as romantic as you make that sound, I would rather fly Air France, than Air Leo. Just like every other normal newlywed.

Leo

Well, great, except that we're not.

Piper

Well, a passport for you could change all that, if I could just find... voila! Birth certificate. (She holds it up.)

Leo

Where did you get that?

Piper

From Dan's old file, the one he put together when he was suspicious of you. You remember him, don't ya?

Leo

Let's see, perfect hair, cleft chin, tried to steal you away from me? Vaguely, vaguely. This isn't gonna work, I was born in 1924.

Piper

No, you weren't. Okay, off-white background, black ink... Little trick I learned in high school.

Leo

You're gonna forge my birth certificate.

Piper

No. Just going to change one little number. (She white outs the number.) So, 1924 becomes 1974. And just like that, you are fifty years younger. (She writes in the seven.) Wait a minute, that makes you 27. That's younger than me. Maybe I should change another number.

Leo

Piper, this is completely illegal.

Piper

Yeah? Well, so is marrying a dead guy, okay? Let's not get technical now.

Prue

(walks into kitchen) Morning. What's up?

Leo

Oh, probably 3 to 5 years in jail if we're lucky.

Phoebe

Piper?

Prue

Uh, okay, was it a demon?

Piper

No, it was watermelon!

Phoebe

Honey, why did you vanquish watermelon?

Piper

I didn't vanquish watermelon. I threw it up in the air and I tried to freeze it and it exploded.

Piper

Check her out, whipping it up like it's Tollhouse Cookies. Maybe after she fixes Phoebe she could fix me.

Prue

Piper, you don't need fixing.

Piper

Uh, if it's taking the Elders this long to tell Leo what's wrong with me, then I definitely need fixing.

Piper

Leo should have been back by now. It must mean my powers are screwed forever. They're punishing me.

You're a fulfillment of a great prophecy. Why punish you?

Piper

Oh, forgery. Wanting to have a normal life. Getting pissed off. By next week I'll be walking around like Carrie at the prom.

Piper

Sorry about knocking you out. Nothing personal.

Prue

Yeah, well, at least you didn't blow me up.

Piper

Yeah, I was kinda relieved too.

Phoebe ...

Piper

(bending over Leo) What did you do to him?! (Belthazor changes back into Cole)

Phoebe

I saw what you did.

Cole

It's not what it looks like, it wasn't ...

Phoebe

Janna is dead and Leo is unconscious. What else could it be?

Cole

Raynor forced me. I had no choice.

Phoebe

There's always a choice, Cole!

Cole

(looks at the potion) The potion. (reaches for it, but Phoebe grabs it) Before it's too late ...

Phoebe

It's already too late. You killed an innocent woman, there is no turning back from that.

Cole

I didn't wanna kill her, you've gotta understand that. I can still be good.

Phoebe

There's nothing good in you anymore.

Prue

Maybe there never was. You have to read the spell to activate the amulets, right? I mean, Cole, maybe that was your plan all along, to get the Book.

Piper

But evil can't use the amulets or the Book.

Cole

Phoebe, you've gotta believe me.

Piper

I think she's believed you one too many times.

Cole

Stay outta this! This is between her and me.

Phoebe

There's nothing between us anymore.

Cole

Phoebe, don't let Raynor take this away from us. Don't let him win.

Phoebe

Raynor didn't set me up. You set me up. What am I supposed to do?

Cole

(reaches for the potion) Please, save me.

Phoebe

Save yourself. (She smashes the potion to the ground. Cole sullenly stares at the sisters, and shimmers out.)

Prue

For Liza, a lost sister, may her spirit soar.

Piper

For Jenna, our lost friend, may we meet again.

Phoebe

For Cole, a lost love, may you find peace.

Leo

Well, I don't have news but I do have a passport.

Piper

You went back?

Leo

Yeh well, I was thinking with everything that's happened and with your new power making life a little crazy.. alright crazier, i figured the least i could do is make it somewhat normal.

Piper

Are you sure?

Leo

Anything that it takes to get you on a plane to Paris.

Piper

Ah, you know what? I think we should wait on that. I wouldn't want to like sneeze at 40,000 feet and have a whole bunch of people explode, that would be bad.