Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Piper

Tell me the truth. Do you think I'm pushing it too far with the wedding?

Prue

Okay, why is Phoebe going to school without her books?

Piper

Okay, why is Prue not answering Piper's question?

Prue

Because Prue doesn't want both her sisters not speaking to her.

Prue

Can I have my lipstick back, Piper?

Piper

What lipstick?

Prue

The lipstick you borrowed last night.

Piper

Wasn't me.

Prue

Oh, I'm sorry. I must have gotten you confused with another Piper!

Leo

I thought you said there was nothing in the Book.

Piper

Well now, there's just a whole bunch of weirdness in it. Look.

Leo

Hemlock killing spell? That doesn't belong in here.

Piper

But it does have possibilities...

Leo

Piper!

Piper

I'm sorry, I don't know what I was... [she blinks into the kitchen.]

Leo

Piper?

Piper

In here, somehow...

Leo

You blinked.

Piper

I did not! Only warlocks do that.

Leo

Nope, you did it.

Piper

Catch us if you can!

Phoebe

Have you tried it yet, Leo? It's a real head rush.

Leo

Do you realize how serious this is? You're blinking, the Book is changing.

Piper

Maybe we're blinking because of the Book.

Leo

The Book is changing because of you. It is an extension of you.

Piper

I should care about that--but I don't.

Leo

This is what I was afraid of. Whoever's got Prue is somehow reaching you too.

Phoebe

Okay Leo, I can tell this really upsets you, but I gotta tell you, I really like this whole 'think it and it happens' deal. I mean, just think of the time we could save not chanting!

Leo

Have you guys lost your minds?

Phoebe

Oh, Leo, get on board. Whatever it is, this is fabulous. You can't imagine the freedom, the power.

Leo

Phoebe, that is evil talking. You have to fight it!

Phoebe

What did you ever see in him?

Piper

I don't know. He is kind of a stick in the mud, isn't he?

Phoebe

Oh, another great idea! May I?

Piper

Be my guest.

Leo

All right, think about the power of... [he gets cut off when Phoebe waves her hand and turns him into a stick in a barrel of mud.]

Phoebe

Look at all the fun we've been missing.

Piper

And this is just the beginning!

Piper

[sarcastically] Oh no--he's gone. We're free!

Phoebe

Yes.

Piper

No more obeying the rules, considering the consequences, none of that crap!

Phoebe

Time to find Prue and go for broke.

Piper

Where are you going?

Phoebe

Well, I can't wreak havoc dressed like this.

Piper

What's going on in here?

Phoebe

Nothing, unfortunately.

Piper

I heard voices.

Phoebe

Oh, did you? Um, I had a premonition. Must have gotten pretty loud.

Piper

I guess.

Phoebe

We gotta go. The high priestess that has Prue, supposedly she's coming here.

Piper

High pr--? Must have been a helluva premonition.

Dantalian

That was easy.

Piper

Too easy.

Piper

Where's our sister?

Dantalian

[apprehensively] I can help you. I can teach you evil. You're new at it, you don't know how to realize its full potential.

Piper

I don't know, I think we're getting the hang of it.

Phoebe

Wanna see?

Piper

Where's Prue?

Dantalian

Kill me and you'll never see her again.

Piper

So maybe we should [stomps on Dantalian] torture you instead!

Phoebe

Why don't you just shatter her hand and see what happens?

Piper

Last chance. [Dantalian stares] Fine. [smashes Dantalian's hand, Dantalian screams in agony]

Phoebe

Now, the really weird thing is we could do that to the other hand, and then go down to your feet ...

Piper

Actually, we could work up piece by piece, all the way to her head.

Phoebe

[waves knife and Dantalian's head] Where is Prue?

Piper

Whoa, Prue. Hey, hi. You don't look so good.

Phoebe

Oh, but that's a great dress.

Dantalian

Zile, Prue--eliminate them!

Piper

Prue, ignore her. Come on, come with us--we're your sisters.

Prue

I'm his wife, not your sister. [she raises her hands and sends Piper and Phoebe flying into the wall]

Prue

I love you.

You too.

Piper

Huh. Welcome to Planet Narcissist.

Phoebe

Dad doesn't know that Leo is a Whitelighter.

Piper

Well, I've been meaning to tell him, but considering Mom had an affair with her Whitelighter, I didn't think he'd be really receptive to the idea.

Leo

Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.

Piper

Oh, don't be ridiculous, you're already dead.

Cole

You have to hold my hand.

Prue

This sucks already.

Victor

Leo! You lying little piece of--

Piper

Okay, Dad. Not now. Stay with Phoebe. We'll be back.

Victor

Wha-?

Phoebe

Well, don't get mad at me. I've been shot.

Phoebe

Piper, you have to stay positive. You know what? I have Celine Dion "Behind The Music" on video cassette. Would you like to watch that?

Piper

Would you like to get slapped?