Piper Halliwell quotes from Charmed

Leo

Piper, are you mad at me?

Piper

No, don't be ridiculous. Why would I be mad at you?

Leo

I don't know, that's why I'm asking. What is it?

Piper

It's just, um, Dan.

Leo

Oh. Never mind, sorry I asked.

Piper

Um, he's-he's going to be... He's going to be very upset when he finds out... you're the one that I really love.

Leo

Yeah?

Piper

Yeah.

Piper

That can't be right. How many swizzle sticks?

Leo

(staring at her legs) Who's counting?

Prue

(after taking a picture of Piper) So, I think I'll call this, "Woman Pretending Not to Look Out the Window".

Piper

(walking towards Prue with mug) How about "Girl About to Pour Hot Tea on Sister's Head"?

Piper

Prue, wh-what are you doing in here?

Leo

Piper, can you hand me a towel? Prue!

Prue

Hey Leo, nice orbs.

Piper

Bye... Bye!

Prue

Ow!

Piper

Let me help you, let me help you. Alright, go on, sicko.

Piper

Still Phoebe, you have to take care of yourself. You have to get some rest.

Phoebe

After. Piper, I did not go back to college to fail at it, okay. So what do I have to do? Okay, I'm gonna go change and then I'm gonna go to the library. Now, if any demon or warlock attacks, please just fend them off till Saturday. (to Leo) I have a question for you. Is it possible for someone to find proof that demons really do exist?

Leo

Mmm, I don't know, maybe. But even if anybody did, nobody would ever know about it anyway.

Phoebe

What do you mean?

Leo

Well, evil doesn't want anybody to know. It has a system for covering its tracks, protecting its identity. That's why demons disappear when you guys vanquish them.

Piper

Why do you ask?

Phoebe

Just curious. Okay, adios.

Piper

Were you close to you dad?

Leo

Uhh, well, that was long time ago. A different life time. I prefer to focus on the present.

Piper

So do I, which means I have to go, I have a dentist appointment. How long can you stay?

Leo

Uh, until they call.

Piper

Well, if they don't call before lunch, why don't you meet me at the club. I'll buy.

Leo

Well, you'll have to. Whitelighter pay sucks.

Piper

Alright, back to your position. Go on.

Leo

Are you kidding me? He's about to clock me.

Piper

I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. Let's go, let's go.

Dan

Ow! Piper, where'd you come from?

Piper

I'll be the one asking the questions. What the hell is going on?

Piper

I'm home!

Prue

Come on.

Piper

Where are we going?

Phoebe

We'll explain on the way there.

Piper

Who's that?

Phoebe

Let's go, let's go. That's my dead friend.

Piper

(about Leo) You really think he's here that much?

Phoebe

He's like the big brother I never wanted... uh... I mean, had.

Piper

Dan is back in town.

Leo

So? What am i supposed to go. Just hide out till he decides to leave again?

Piper

So, what am I going to tell him? The last time I saw him he handed me proof that you were killed in 1942. He's going to expect a reaction from me.

Phoebe

How about, 'Hey Dan, you're right, I am a necrophiliac. '.

Piper

Where you off to?

Prue

Lunch date with Dick.

Phoebe

Dull Dick? Prue, you are too hot to have to duty date.

Prue

Yeh, well. all demon hunting and no play has made me a lot less picky. I gotta figure out a way to put more balance in my life.

Piper

Yeh, but you don't need Dick!

Phoebe

You know, we keep saying that, but what does it really mean?

You're probably a little upset right?

Piper

No, I've moved past upset and right to pissed off.

Leo

Piper!

Piper

This is so not happening.

Leo

Listen to me, Piper. I told you, I've thought this whole thing through.

Piper

Uh huh. Is that why you asked me to marry you in a toilet?

Piper

So, why did you do that to your hair?

Phoebe

To change my luck.