CCastle
[Cuts himself while trying to cut a tomato] What's the difference between curse and clumsy?
I'll get a bandaid.
CCastle
Get two.
S2 E19Wrapped Up In Death
[At the museum]
Man! I love this place! When Alexis was little, we used to come here every Sunday. We would run around here for hours pretending like we were on safari in Africa or looking for dinosaurs in China.
You know, Castle, sometimes I forget that you have such a capacity for pure innocence in your life.
Yeah. Plus it was a great place to pick up chicks.
And then you open your mouth and you ruin it.
You had to mess with the curse, didn’t you? Trying to be funny. You know what kind of hell I’d catch if Castle got eaten in the line of duty?
Don’t tell me you really believe in that stuff, sir.
You know what I believe in, Detective? That there’s no upside in screwing with things that you can’t explain. First year in homicide, right? My partner tackles a suspect through the window of a gypsy smoke shop. Owner’s furious. Threatens all kind of hexes on our houses if we don’t personally go and clean it up. And we tell her, “Yeah, take it up with the city.” Two hours later, my partner drops dead. Heart attack.
And you think it was the hexes?
No. The man ate bacon with every meal. But, next morning, I went over there, fixed that window. And you know why?
RERyan & Esposito
[look at each other for a moment and then back] Because there’s no upside in screwing with things you can’t explain?
And don’t you ever forget it.
If something were to happen to me, I want you to watch out for Alexis. She looks up to you. And if her boyfriends get frisky, you can shoot them.
Nothing’s gonna happen to you.
But if it does…
Okay. [smiles]
And would you also go into my closet and get rid of my porn collection before she finds it?
Don’t worry, bro. I got you covered on that.
Charles, we have your fingerprints on a sarcophagus, so you can either start telling us the truth now, or after spending an afternoon in the holding cell, entertaining a meth addict through the violent phase of his withdrawal.
S2 E20The Late Shaft
[Watching Castle on tv] Wow! Camera does really add ten pounds... to his ego!
[Watching Alexis pack her bag]
CCastle
Um…You’re going orienteering, not library-ing. You sure you want to take that many books?
Over-ambitious for a five-day trip?
CCastle
You’re going to be responsible for your own pack. I think you’re supposed to be more Sacagawea than a scholarly reader. Besides, look at all those pages. The trees might want revenge.
[Bringing in Manning’s body]
You know how many strings I had to pull for this, Castle?
If I’m wrong, I’ll reimburse the city.
To hell with the city. It’s me you’re gonna owe. I take spa certificate, jewelry, and cash.
Duly noted.
“FTW”?
“For the win.” Means, “My tweet kicks your tweet’s butt.” Come on, Beckett. You got to keep up, hang with the cool kids.
So, how was your date with your little starlet?
[scowling] How could you tell this time?
Like I said, Castle… [pulls a long strand of hair off his jacket] …trained detective.
S2 E21Den of Thieves
[About the body] That is so cool. Do you mind if I take pictures?
Knock yourself out, but if any of them end up on the internet, I will hunt you down and hurt you.
[to Esposito] I'm your partner. That means I'm with you 'til the wheels fall off.
S2 E22Food to Die For
CCastle
What broke?
Stupid glass.
CCastle
Remind me to get smarter glasses.
This is both literally, and figuratively, cool.
What's a good time?
Well, if you don't know by now, it's probably too late to show you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Castle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.