TV show quotes
[talking about Haley's final song, Threshold]
Yeah. Sounds pretty. Little creepy, though.
Very creepy.
How's it creepy?
"Death, she grows near"? It’s kind of like Final Destination, but in song form.
She doesn't mean "death" death.
Well, what other kinds of death are there?
Allegorical, metaphoric, symbolic, spiritual, emotional, sexual –
Okay, okay, that's quite enough. I think I'm paying far too much for her education.
[After a SWAT team breaks into an apartment]
Where's Nidal Metar? Shakir Nidal Metar! Where is he?
There's no Shakir Nidal Metar here! Only Sally Neidermeyer!
Ma'am, did you send a package by bike courier this morning?
Yes, I did!
"S. Nidal Metar?" S. Neidermeyer! Some bozo at the courier company wrote the name wrong.
Our bad. Uh, we can -
- Yeah, we can fix this.
[lifting the door] Sorry.
[They screw the door back into its frame]
[as Det. Beckett speaks with the victim's sister]
How does she do that?
Better than anyone I know.
[M.E. Perlmutter eats his lunch on an examination table in the morgue]
Are you sure it's sanitary to be eating here?
Do you know the strength of the disinfectants we use here? This is the cleanest room in the city. [offers his sandwich to Castle]
I couldn't.
Homemade.
I couldn't.
If there's one thing I hate, it's a dirtbag in uniform.
[arriving on the scene of the crime] So, what do we got?
May I?
Be my guest.
Thank you. Our victim’s name is Caleb Shimky…
Shimansky.
Is that an A?
Yeah, it's an A.
And he was pulling a Kevin Bacon in Quicksilver when all of-
I'm sorry, what?
Quicksilver. [Beckett shakes her head] Kevin Bacon is a bike messenger who failed as a-
[turns to Esposito] Esposito, take him to school.
The victim is Caleb Shimansky, an on-duty bike messenger. Masked suspect in a black 4-door plows into him, killing him instantly. The suspect steals the messenger bag, jumps in his ride and jets off.
[looking back at Castle] See, that wasn't so hard.
No, no, it's good, if you like the dull, non-best-seller version.
I thought I gave it some flair.
Were the two of you dating?
Uh, no, just friends. What? Can’t a guy and a girl just be friends?
Please.
Are you two together?
[simultaneously] Not yet.
[simultaneously] Absolutely not.
I speak for the entire Wellesley family when I say you can expect our full cooperation in this investigation.
But? You can tell, there's a "but" coming.
Not a "but", a "however". Like I said, we'll cooperate, however, we request these unannounced interviews come to a stop.
Here we go.
Beckett, let's hear him out.
I apologize if I'm coming off like one of those guys, Detective. It's just that these impromptu visits are a bit awkward. My nephew Trent said you spoke to him when he visited my mother. Mother became very confused, very upset. I'm sure there's a better way to facilitate this.
Like what?
Well, I propose that all further interviews be coordinated by me and conducted at my offices. What do you think?
Thank you for your offer, Mr. Wellesley. It's very nice of you.
[rising up from his seat] Not at all. I'll give you my number-
Hold on. I, too, have a "however". Thank you for your offer, however, my detectives will conduct their investigation in any manner they see fit.
Captain, I can get the commissioner on the phone in under a minute.
Well, tell him I said hi, and I could really use a raise. [Rising up] I think we're done here. [Lets out his hand to shake, but Blake walks away. After he leaves…]
That was awesome!
Whatever you guys are doing, keep doing it. They're circling the wagons.
[rising up, and pointing at Montgomery with a grin] Awesome!
What will Chet think if he expects 1980s Martha, and present-day Martha shows up?
You tell anyone I said this, and I'll deny it. And I'm only gonna say it once; 1980s Martha was pretty great, but present-day Martha is pretty spectacular, too.
I can't believe how many lives were ruined over one woman's need to protect her family's reputation.
You will never have this problem. Between Grams and myself, our family reputation's already in ruins.
Mmm. Lucky me.
[Regarding his handcuffs] Hey, you guys mind if I take these things off? I'm starting to feel like a stereotype riding around in the back of a police car wearing them.
Sure. Do you want my key?
Nah, I got it. Thanks. [Undoes his handcuffs]
How did you do that?
I've always been good with locks. When I was in the joint, I was thinking how can I take this and make it more productive, you know? So, I've been applying for locksmith schools, but, you know, they won't let me in on account that I'm a felon. Can you believe that?
A felon who wants to be a locksmith. What could possibly go wrong there?
You don't have to be mean about it.
Yeah. Wow.
[Beckett glares, beat, Castle relocated to back seat with Jessup]
How does a prosecutor get into business with a criminal?
Well, it's hard out there for a pimp who's also a DA. Ooh, that be a good character for a novel. A star prosecutor who's always excelled at everything he's ever done. He couldn't possibly imagine that being a pimp would be a bigger job than he can handle by himself. But one day he gets a call, one of his girls has been knocked around by a client. He realises there's nothing he can do about it, he's a very public figure. So, a white collar prosecutor decides to hire a blue collared enforcer. Can't exactly take out an ad on Craigslist for that. But fortunately enough, he has a big stack of qualified candidates sitting right on his desk.
Which is where he found John Knox. A criminal who mostly managed to stay out of prison.
Which makes him a smart criminal.
Yeah.
Buckley offers him a deal. "Come work for me, I'll throw your case." And Knox does. For a while, everyone's happy. But then Knox decides he's not happy being number two anymore. He takes Buckley's client list, tells Buckley to take a hike.
Knowing that Buckley can't do anything about it without risking exposure.
But Buckley's never backed down from a fight in his life. He gets the cops to drag Knox down to his office to remind him who's boss.
But Knox took it up a notch, sending a warning shot across Buckley's bow by threatening his brother-in-law.
And when Buckely wouldn't back down, Knox threw him off the roof of the parking garage.
Jeez, if only we had some proof.
Who needs proof? What a great story.
Thanks.
For what?
For not saying "I told you so."
Oh, that starts tomorrow.
Castle [after seeing Alexis dressed maturely for work]: Did that ever happen to you with me? One day you look and see your boy all grown up?
I'm still waiting for that moment, actually.
...I set you up for that, didn't I?
Castle [to Beckett]: That was pretty cool, the way you filled in the story there. I think I must be rubbing off on you... That sounded dirtier than I meant it.
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