I hate this case.
I know, isn't it great?!
S2 E4Fool me Once
CSConman's fiance
He wasn't a con man. He was in the CIA.
[thrilled] Best case ever.
[half-interrupting him] Shut up.
[When Beckett tells Castle she hasn't read Heat Wave yet]
You were all over me to get a copy of that book. Do you have any idea how many hoops I had to jump through, just so my editor wouldn't send an armed guard to watch over you while you read it? The least you could do is to… [pauses and looks at her] Oh. Oh! I see what you're doing.
I'm not doing anything.
Oh, yes, you are. Yes, you are. You're trying to push my buttons, but it's not gonna work.
Really?
Mmm.
'Cause it seems to be working just great. [smirks]
It's really a kind of psychopathy. To be so cold that you can look someone in the eye, tell them that you love them, and then rob them blind without the slightest remorse.
[Blinks and holds up his hands] Whoa, I just flashed back to the eighth grade. [Indignant] Sherry Ort. Broke my heart, stole my lunch money.
[Cell phone rings and Beckett answers it]
Beckett.
[raving on] Then she laughed about it with her friends.
[After Castle and Beckett figure out the case and realize who the killer is]
FMrs. Finnegan
But what about the phone call from Steven?
Well, she must've faked it somehow.
FMrs. Finnegan
Why?
Because…
BCBeckett and Castle
The con is still on!
S2 E5When the Bough Breaks
[Castle has arrived late to a crime scene]
Yeah, it's too bad, too. Your kind of case, bro'.
Yeah?
Yeah, body was found down that manhole over there. Half eaten.
Eaten?
Yeah, it was covered in some kind of green slime.
Whoa...
Yeah, it was creepy. It's as if someone or some thing is down there.
[Catching on] Ha, that's... okay. Very funny. Great. [To Beckett] Was there a body down the manhole?
Yeah.
Okay, thank you. An adult.
Yeah, you should have seen what else was down there. Two metal canisters with bio-hazard stickers and yellow powder inside of them.
You opened the... [the detectives smirk] Alright. Will someone please tell me what's really going on here?
We're gonna check nearby trash cans for the murder weapon.
What was the murder weapon, by the way?
Some kind of death ray.
Turns your insides out.
[At the book launch party for "Heat Wave", Beckett learned earlier that Castle had an offer for writing three books about "a certain british secret agent"]
[Having read the dedication in the "Heat Wave" book] I was just, eh, the, eh, the dedication, wow, thank you...
I meant it, you are extraordinary. Listen, I was thinking - [Beckett listening in anticipation] what if the wife got onto the affair?
[Surprised] Melissa Talbert? Our killer?
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...
Well ... Anything's possible, I didn't see it that way.
Huh, you're saying that because you've never been scorned...
What makes you say that?
Well, come on, what man has ever turned you away?
[Looking uncomfortable] So, any word on a certain British secret agent who shall not be named?
I got the official offer!
[Looking disappointed by the expectation of their relationship ending] Wow, congratulations!
I haven't accepted it yet.
But you're going to, aren't you?
Wait, you think I should?
Yeah, I mean is there a reason why you wouldn't?
So you'd be OK if I didn't write another "Nikki Heat"?
[Laughing] I mean, why wouldn't I? It's not like I asked you to write the first one...
You know, a lot of people would be flattered that someone chose to write a book based on them...
Flattered? Do you have any idea how much grief I've had to put up with over this "Nikki Heat"-thing?
Gee, I'm sorry...
[after the case is solved Castle and Beckett come down a staircase]
Thank you, Castle, I, uhm, I never would have been able to solve this case without your help.
[awkward pause]
Well, uh, good luck on your new book, I know that you'll do it proud.
Thanks [reaches out for Beckett] you take care of yourself [they shake hands] and...
[both cellphones ring]
My agent...
It's the ... uh ... station... I, you know you better get that...
Yeah - hey Paula!
Beckett.
Ahah, really? [to Beckett] First day, "Heat Wave" sales through the roof!
[to Castle] I'm on hold for Captain Montgomery.
[to Beckett] Reviews are raves!
Yes, Captain.
Would I be interested in doing three more "Nikki Heats"?
Yes, I am aware that the mayor is facing a tough re-election this year...
I'm sorry, how much?!?
No, I would love to help the department out in whatever way I could...
No, no, forget the other offer, for that kind of money I'll do a dozen "Nikki Heats"!
[flabbergasted] He wants me to what?
Oh, well that was kind of a one-time only situation with her and me...
Three books? That would take forever!
You already spoke to the mayor?
[to Castle, whispering] I can kill you!
[looking flabbergasted]
No, no, no, no sir, I wasn't talking to you! I, uh, no need to thank me sir, I am happy to help his honor out in any way I can... [hanging up]
Uh-huh, you know what, I think ... I'm gonna, Paula, I'm gonna ... I'll call you back... [hanging up]
[to Beckett] I had nothing to do with that phonecall!
[Beckett's phone ringing]
What? [listening to the phone] OK, I'll be right there! [starting to walk away]
[looking confused] Where are you going?
That was Esposito, there's been a murder. [turning around] Are you coming or what?
[hastens towards Beckett]
Do you really expect me to believe you had nothing to do with that phonecall?
I swear I had nothing to do!
Swear a little harder Castle, I don't believe you!
I swear!
[Episode ends]
S2 E6Vampire Weekend
[Castle enters the room, dressed as Mal from Firefly]
Hey.
CCastle
Hey... I was just trying on my Halloween costume.
What exactly are you supposed to be?
CCastle
Space cowboy.
Okay. A: there are no cows in space. B: didn't you wear that, like, five years ago?
CCastle
So?
So, don't you think you should move on?
CCastle
I like it.
[to Alexis] If any of those senior boys bother you... father won't be quite himself. [activates pumpkin drill, laughs maniacally, coughs]
[Castle relates a traumatizing childhood experience that spurred him to become a mystery writer]
It must have just happened, because the tide hadn't washed away the blood. We had just played hide-and-go-seek the day before.
What happened to him?
They never found out.
I'm so sorry, Castle. [he smirks] ... you made that up?
It's what I do!
You know what? You are so getting it for that one!
[Castle, Beckett and Esposito staring at Ryan's familiarity with vampires and covens]
What? [reluctantly] I used to go out with a girl who was into the lifestyle.
What happened? Did the relationship suck?
Oh!
[The two chuckle and tap fingers]
Deal-breaker, she wanted to have sex in a coffin. I'm opened-mind, but not that open-minded...
S2 E7Famous Last Words
What?
Nothing... it's just I'm so used to seeing you act like a 12-year-old all the time, it's refreshing to see you as a father.
It makes you want me, right?
...And there's the 12-year-old again.
Does he look like a killer to you?
Everybody looks like a killer to me, Castle. Job requirement
Do I look like a killer to you?
Yes, you kill my patience.
Found your stalker. Franco Marquez, aka Frankie Markie. Hayley filed half a dozen complaints against him. It says here that he even tried to break into her apartment. And when she filed against him, he showed up in court and called her a...[sees Alexis] B-I-T-C-H.
She can spell, Detective.
Probably better than you.
CCastle
If you killed someone, you would tell me, right?
Of course. I'd need help hiding the body.
CCastle
Ah, haha. That's my girl.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Castle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.