Martha Rodgers quotes from Castle

Martha

This is... the best thing that has ever happened to you. Rejection is the bedrock of a great acting career. Until an actor has suffered, he hasn't really lived.

Alexis

Thanks, gram.

Martha

You're welcome. And besides, auditions are like men. There's another one right around the corner.

Martha

I Heard about the shooting on the news. Could have been you. You know that, don't you?

Castle

Yeah, but I'm fine, wasn't me.

Martha

Richard, this isn't one of your books, you don't know the ending! You were just lucky yesterday.

Castle

[Somewhat nonchalant] You're overreacting, mother. Where is this coming from?

Martha

[Shocked and furious at his flippant attitude] How the hell can you ask me something like that? Think about how much you love Alexis, and that is how much I love you, and don't you dare ask me where this is coming from! You have gotten through most of life on your wit, and charm and no small amount of talent. But that is the real world out there, and you can't charm your way out of a bullet.

Castle

You think I should quit?

Martha

I think you should be honest with yourself about why you're doing this. You had written 22 novels before you met her, and you didn't need to spend every day in a police station in order to finish them.

Castle

It's not about the books anymore.

Beckett

Castle told me that you decided to give the money back?

Martha

Yeah, well, I tried. Chet's kids refused to take it. They said their father loved me, wanted me to have the money. So, I'm, you know, trying to figure out what to do with it. Everything I come up with seems so selfish and petty.

Beckett

Well, it doesn't have to be that way. You know, someone once told me that money doesn't change you, it just magnifies who you are. You cared about Chet. Maybe you could do something that would honor his memory somehow.

Castle

He's right, you know. This is my fault.

Martha

Richard Castle, don't you dare blame yourself. You did not shoot her.

Castle

No, but I put her in the crosshairs.

Castle

Mother, prepare to feast on the finest omelette in the land... (He looks up and sees what Martha is wearing.) Before you join the convent...

Martha

No, I am making costumes for my Shakespeare class. So, what do you think?

Castle

I seem to remember asking you to make me an ET halloween costume, and you told me you didn't know how to sew.

Martha

Details. Besides, you were 32 at the time.

Castle

She grew up so fast.

Martha

Well, what do you expect? Her to live here forever?

Castle

Well, her, yes. You...

Martha

Watch it.

Let me ask you two something. If you found out a man was cheating on you, how would you kill him?

Martha

Knife. To the heart.

All right, what if you don’t have the stomach for that?

Alexis

Shoot him.

You don’t have the stomach for that, either.

Martha

What's wrong with our stomachs?

Alexis

There’s always poison.

Martha

True. Watch him writhe. And suffer.

Alexis

Die like the rodent he is.

Wow. All these years writing about murderers, I had no idea I was living among them.

Martha

Darling. Beauty does not happen by accident.

Alexis

That’s why when it goes unappreciated by cheating scum, (she holds out her butter knife) we want revenge.

Her last name is Dutton? (Alexis nods.) Your friend’s name is Buttons Dutton?

Martha

That is unfortunate.

Alexis

What’s so wrong with that?

Come on, it’d be like calling me Rassle, or Tassle, or (answering his phone) No Hassle Castle. Hey... No I was just making up one... Please don’t call me that.

Castle

It’s 9 o’clock. What kind of passion is she finding at this time of night?

Martha

Um... (Rick’s phone rings, it’s Kate.) Aha! There, your better half.

Castle

Don’t change the subject!

Castle

(Reading from Martha’s play.) ‘Richard always had a dark imagination. He was destined either to become a serial killer or a mystery writer.’ Mother, really?

Martha

Oh, it’s just a slight exaggeration.

Castle

And according to this you’re responsible for launching my writing career by... you slept with my first publisher?

Mr Castle, I’m sure your talent would’ve gotten you there eventually.

Castle

My talent did get me there. I didn’t get published because of her.

Martha

Technically, I slept with him after your book was out. This is just to be more salacious.

Castle

Wasn’t he practically my age?

Martha

Honey, you know I’ve always loved younger men. They have so much energy, enough to keep up with me. Most of the time.

Castle

I’m gonna erase that image from my mind with a bottle of scotch. (He pours some scotch into a glass.)

Martha

Oh, darling, I invited Beckett to the reading tomorrow night, so you two might wanna make a date of it.

Martha

I turned down the role. Turned my back on fortune. And, it was the best career move I ever made. For an even greater role came my way. The part, perhaps the greatest role that I have ever played. That, of mother.

Beckett

(To Castle.) That’s sweet.

You’re right, that is sweet.

Alexis

Shh.

Sorry.

Martha

Now, if Richard had only been able to embrace the role of son with the same level of commitment...

And, into the woods we go.

Martha Rodgers

Guess who I ran into at the beauty parlor today?

Mother, I'm at a critical juncture and...

Martha Rodgers

Oona Marconi.

Oona Marconi, the theater critic?

Martha Rodgers

I thought I might invite her to dinner, ask her to give a little mention to my acting school, put it into one of her columns. It would be invaluable publicity

Yes, well, that would depend on the mention. You aren't forgetting her blistering review of your performance of Maggie in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, are you?

Martha Rodgers

That was 1983. I think I'm over it.

"Martha Rodgers as Maggie the Cat is more of a helpless kitten, mewing and flapping her hands when she doesn’t get her way."

Martha Rodgers

You memorized it?

I couldn't help it! You walked around the apartment quoting it for months. Mother, I'm just saying, maybe it's not a good idea to ask an important favor of someone who's been so unkind to you in the past.

Martha Rodgers

The operative word here is past. I think I can rise above. Besides, my acting school is more important to me than some old grudge.

Well, that's very mature of you, Mother.

Martha Rodgers

[walking away] Thank you.

"If Tennessee Williams knew what crimes Martha Rodgers had committed against this audience in his name, he would have her arrested for assault."

Martha Rodgers

Rising above.

Martha

Honey, do you ever wonder why I never visited you in the precinct the first year you were working there?

Castle

I always thought it was because of the harsh lighting.

Martha

Well, that was a consideration.

Martha

You’re rather upbeat, considering you said this was your last case with Beckett.

That’s because I am going out with a bang. I have one word for you, Mother. Zombie.

Martha

Too much makeup?

You look lovely. I’m referring to our victim being killed by one of he walking undead. And I mean that literally. A zombie. Security camera caught him in all his putrefying glory.

Martha

Whoo. I don’t suppose you downloaded this video, by chance?

Absolutely not. That video is police property. It would be very, very wrong of me to get a screen grab of it and e-mail it to myself.

Martha

Well, it’ll be our little secret, darling.

I’m actually surprised at your interest in this case, Mother.

Martha

Well, I really do know the difference between a first-rate makeup job and actual decay. You wanna see some real zombies, check out the red carpet at the Tony Awards.

I thought I… I thought I put this away.

[Looking around] Where is she? Where is she?

Alexis

[Speaking villainously] You were a fool to buy my act yesterday, and now you’ve fallen right into my trap.

[Dramatically] You will pay dearly for your treachery. [To Martha] Et tu, Mother? For luring me here?

Martha

Why, whatever do you mean?

Mmm. [Back to Alexis] That’s my girl.

Alexis

[Unhooking herself from the rope] So what’s this about a zombie?