Richard Castle quotes from Castle

Castle

I've always liked your legs. But now I respect them.

Kate

Yeah, yours aren't so bad either. You know, for the next police picnic, we should do the three-legged race together.

Castle

You're on.

Castle

What's gonna happen with that tiger anyway?

Esposito

Shoot it.

Kate

She'll get transferred to a sanctuary.

Esposito

Or that.

Kate

Probably end up in a zoo. Why, you wanna go visit her?

Castle

No. No thanks, I'm good.

Kate

Alright, you guys get some rest.

Esposito

You too.

Kate

That has gotta be the strangest brush with death I've ever had.

Castle

Me too. But I'll tell ya, after that experience, if I ever have to be hitched to someone, it would be you.

Kate

Hitched?

Castle

Hitched? No, I didn't say hitched. I said cuffed. Handcuffed, not hitched. (He helps her into her jacket.) The colloquial or any other connotation or meaning.

Kate

It's okay, Castle, I understood what you meant, and for what it's worth, if I ever have to spend another night handcuffed to someone again, I wouldn't mind if it was you either.

Castle

Really?

Kate

But next time, let's do it without the tiger. (She walks past him.)

Castle

Next time?

Beckett

What is so special about our victim that our killer burned off his fingerprints?

Beckett

Don't say spy.

Beckett

Or Mob hit.

Castle

Mob hit of a spy?

Castle

Still too high.

Beckett

Not if I climb on your shoulders. [When Castle gives her a look] What? We’ve done it before.

Castle

Yeah, you say that like it was pleasant. And we weren’t handcuffed.

Beckett

Who’s got no faith now? Come on Castle, we have no idea when they’re coming back or even if they’re coming back at all.

Castle

[Looks down at her heeled shoes] Last time you were wearing sneakers.

Beckett

Fine. [Tries to pry them off, but can’t] Think I’m gonna need your help.

Castle

[muttering as he works to pull them off] “Lift up my shirt.” “Pull off my boots.” Under normal circumstances, I would like where this was heading.

Beckett

You can fantasize later after we get out of the room.

Castle

Just so you know, not as much fun if I have your permission. How do you run in these things?

Beckett

Shut up and pull.

Beckett

She’s playing with us. She’s gonna knock it over. What are we gonna do?

Castle

There’s only one thing to do. Scream like little girls

Help! Help!

Esposito

Beckett! Castle!

Beckett

Esposito!

Esposito

Is that a tiger?

Castle

Yeah, yeah, that's a tiger! Hey, how about getting us out?

Let me ask you two something. If you found out a man was cheating on you, how would you kill him?

Martha

Knife. To the heart.

All right, what if you don’t have the stomach for that?

Alexis

Shoot him.

You don’t have the stomach for that, either.

Martha

What's wrong with our stomachs?

Alexis

There’s always poison.

Martha

True. Watch him writhe. And suffer.

Alexis

Die like the rodent he is.

Wow. All these years writing about murderers, I had no idea I was living among them.

Castle

Even their hypothetical fury is unnerving. William Congreve had it right when he talked about scorned women.

Beckett

Yeah well, you haven’t heard what I would do.

Castle

Yeah, I don’t think I ever want to know.

Beckett

(looking at book of victim's conquests) Oh my God. That's Jenny.

Castle

Not just Jenny. (points at page) "Gyrating Jenny".

Castle

So. What are we gonna do?

Beckett

About what?

Castle

Well we have to tell Ryan about Jenny.

Beckett

What? Why? Castle, if we were getting married would you want to know about all the guys that I’ve slept with?

Castle

All?

Beckett

Seriously? You sign women’s chests at book readings. You cannot be shocked that I’m not a virgin.

Castle

I – it’s just the word –all- suggests a lot. How many are we talking … exactly?

Beckett

Are you really asking for my number?

Castle

You show me yours, I’ll show you mine.

Beckett

(amused) Men. You all wanna know, but you don’t wanna know. Listen, every woman has her secrets, including Jenny. And sometimes, for the sake of a relationship, it is better not to share.

Castle

Officer and a gentleman. That could be the name of our crime blog.

Beckett

Crime blog? The way that you help me write police reports? Got a feeling I’ll be writing that one on my own.

Beckett

If his staff wants to minimize damage, they’ll step back and let me do my job.

Castle

Step back? These are politicians. They can’t order at a restaurant without two compromises and an ultimatum.

You're a writer, finish this sentence. "If Weldon had been run out of office..."

I'd be gone from the Twelfth Precinct.

And then who'd keep Beckett from looking into things she shouldn't? Who'd keep her out of harm's way?

So you did this to protect her? Why?

You play chess, Mr. Castle? Sometimes a well-placed pawn is more powerful than a king.

Buttons? You have a friend named Buttons? A human friend.

Alexis

Her mom called her that when she was little and it stuck.

Now, so is she.

Alexis

Buttons and I bonded over being rejected from Stanford. In fact, we applied to a lot of the same schools, so we were planning to visit a few campuses together this weekend. Make a road trip out of it.

Whoa. Okay, whoa. Where are you staying, who’s driving, and who’s chaperoning?

Alexis

We were going to take your Ferrari and hook up with some boys we met on Craigslist.

Not cool.

Her last name is Dutton? (Alexis nods.) Your friend’s name is Buttons Dutton?

Martha

That is unfortunate.

Alexis

What’s so wrong with that?

Come on, it’d be like calling me Rassle, or Tassle, or (answering his phone) No Hassle Castle. Hey... No I was just making up one... Please don’t call me that.

Hey, that’s not Jason Bateman.

Castle

That’s getting old.