Sasha Torres quotes from Bunheads

Sasha

[thinking someone is in her apartment and checking with Roman] Listen, there's a baseball bat under the couch.

I don't need a baseball bat.

Sasha

And there's an umbrella in the linen closet. It's got pretty pony on it, but the end's really pointy. You can poke his eyes out.

[loudly] Hello?

Sasha

There's a tennis racket by the fireplace and there's ammonia under the sink.

So we can disinfect him?

Sasha

Blind him. Then we'll overtake him.

Unless he found the pretty pony umbrella, in which case we're done for. Was this door closed when you left?

Sasha

Yes. No. I don't remember.

[looks seriously at the door] Get the pretty pony.

[coming out of the bathroom] There is a very large spider in that bathroom.

Sasha

A spider?

I mean, we're talking paleolithic horror movie type stuff here.

Sasha

Where's my umbrella?

He took it from me. This is a very serious spider.

Boo

I don't need to buy condoms. I'm on the pill.

Ginny

What?

Melanie

Since when?

Boo

As soon as my mother heard about Carl, she marched me down to the doctor's and put me on the pill.

Sasha

You and Carl are having sex?

Boo

What? No.

Ginny

Then why are you on the pill?

Boo

I just told you.

Melanie

I'm gobsmacked.

Ginny

What does it taste like?

Boo

I don't know. I stick it in a Peppermint Patty.

Hey, what's going on?

Sasha

Boo is on the pill.

You're having sex with Carl?

Boo

Why does everybody hear I'm on the pill and automatically think I'm having sex?

Sasha

You are absurd, Boo. You know that? Absurd.

Boo

Why?

Sasha

Because you're on the pill but not having sex. It's like having a superpower and not using it.

Sasha

This is your relationship, Boo. Don't you care?

Boo

About what?

Sasha

About the things Carl's done.

Boo

No, not really.

Sasha

But what he's done affects you.

Boo

How?

Sasha

What if you're not experienced enough, huh? That can ruin some relationships.

Boo

I'm not experienced enough. It seems to be fine so far.

Ginny

Yeah, how experienced you are doesn't matter to a lot of guys.

Sasha

What if he's got a kid?

Boo

Carl doesn't have a kid. He doesn't even have a bike.

Sasha

Boo, I think we need to step it up.

Boo

Step what up?

Sasha

I think we need to consider having sex now.

Boo

With each other?

Sasha

No, with Roman and Carl. Me with Roman, you with Carl.

Boo

But Carl and I are waiting.

Sasha

A year and a half is a long time. Time that includes dances, parties. Friday night parties that he can go to and you can't because you have class in the morning. And there's girls at these parties.

Boo

Party girls.

Sasha

That time also includes camp. Six weeks where you're apart. And he'll be a junior counselor this year. He'll wear the gray shorts. He'll be doing bed checks. He'll have privileges, power. That's a big turn-on to a lot of girls.

Boo

I know.

Sasha

Plus, in a year and a half you're not the new girlfriend anymore. You're just the old girlfriend who made him wait a year and a half. You're planning on doing it with him anyhow, so what's the difference if you just move it up a bit?

Boo

You're ready? With Roman?

Sasha

I think timing is important. We should strike while the iron is hot.

Boo

But what do we do? How do we work this? I need to shave my legs.

Ginny

How long were we asleep?