TV show quotes
And I'm just supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?
Y-you help me and I-I don't kill you.
Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter.
Money. I could pay you money.
Oh, I like money. How much?
A h-hundred dollars.
A hundred dollars? You'll have to do a lot better than that. Two hundred.
So, the Slayer!
Yeah. That's me.
We thought you were a myth.
Well, you were myth-taken
Nice phone.
Yes, fabulous technology. You see, if anyone has any information I need to know, they can, us, simply tell me about it, through this ingenious speaking tube. I'm very excited.
I am sorry, Giles. I really thought I told you about Riley and the Initiative, and I know that it doesn't help. Look, I promise, it won't happen again. I will tell you everything.
Buffy, I don't want to ask you to, um, betray any confidences, and I certainly don't want to interfere...
Uh-oh. You have but-face. You look like you're gonna say "but".
But... this, um, Initiative, I'm-I'm a little concerned. Um, Ethan's not exactly a reliable source, but, um, I'm not sure that he's wrong about them.
I'm not dating the Initiative. I'm dating Riley. He's a good guy.
And I-I believe that, but he's part of something that we-we don't really understand.
Are you sure you're not just saying this because you don't like Riley's boss?
No, no, I'm not saying that at all. Though I do hate her quite a lot. But I want you to have your personal life, but keep your eyes open. Make sure you know what you're getting into.
So, she walks in and the rules just suddenly break.
Um, pretty much.
Be careful with her. She reacts on instinct. There's no discipline there. Her loyalties are uncertain.
You won't be disappointed in her. She's good at what she does, and she is the truest soul I've ever known.
Oh, no. [laughing] Oh, no. Spontaneous poetic exclamations. Lord, spare me college boys in love.
I'm just saying she'll work out. You'll be proud of her.
You want to know what I think? I think you're probably right.
Guess she's out with Riley. You know how it is with a spanking new boyfriend.
[offhandedly while stacking her chips] Yes, we've enjoyed spanking.
[Xander loses control of the deck he was shuffling.]
Will, I think you better get used to- a Twinkie!? That's his lunch? Oh, he is so gonna be punished.
[pouty] Everyone's getting spanked but me.
Professor Walsh. That simple little recon you sent me on... wasn't a raccoon. Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.
[After killing Professor Walsh, his first act of life] Mommy.
It took the patrol team 42 minutes to track you and you neutralized them in 28 seconds.
I was just lucky.
I see. Well...still. Very impressive.
I was just being modest with the whole 'lucky' thing. You got that, right?
Regret to report Hostile 17 still at large. I've left Beta Team to comb the area but the tracer's--
[interrupting, with faked sorrow] Riley, something's happened. I-I don't know what to say. It-It's about Buffy.
Buffy?
Two of our hostiles broke free and escaped into the tunnels. She went after them on her own. She's dead, Riley.
[utterly shocked] What?
I did everything I could to stop her. I told her to wait for a back-up team. She kept insisting she didn't need any team, she could handle it by herself. I-I'm so, so sorry.
[now into shellshock] I don't understand.
I know what she meant to you.
How could this happen?
She was a very, very special girl. I didn't understand at first, (sighs) but she had something. I don't know, maybe, maybe I could've stopped her. [Behind Walsh, the com-cam image on the monitors starts to move. Buffy appears in its picture] It's hard not to blame myself.
[Not realizing that Riley is suddenly seeing Buffy on the monitors]
[speaking through the monitor] Professor Walsh? That simple little recon you sent me on... wasn't a raccoon. [Walsh slowly faces the monitors] Turns out it was me trapped in the sewers with a faulty weapon and two of your pet demons. If you think that's enough to kill me, you really don't know what a Slayer is. Trust me when I say you're gonna find out.
Riley. Agent Finn, I order you to stop! Agent Finn! Riley!
It'll be dark soon. I think it would be wise for you to leave Sunnydale.
I'm not going anywhere, not until those bastards undo whatever they did to me. Put me back the way I was.
Sure, just explain to the nice scientist guys that you really miss killing and torturing innocent people.
You think that would work?
Spike, Lord know why I'm telling you this. It's for your own good. As long as the Initiative is in operation, it's not safe for you here.
No. It's not safe for any of us.
Sorry, I'm the only one that can pass the retinal scan.
The... ew! I don't wanna see that.
Retinal scan, Xander.
Make out with me.
What?
As a way to hide. They always do that in movies.
This is the Initiative, Xander. Military people don't make out with science people.
Maybe that's what's wrong with the world. You ever think about that?
[Buffy, Willow, and Anya are watching Road Runner in bed in Xander's Basement]
That would never happen.
Well no, Buff. That's why they're called cartoons not documentaries.
I'm going to the crime scene to see what I can find out. You guys research the Polgara demon. I want to know where it is. When I find it, I'm going to make it pay for taking that kid's life. I'll make him die in ways he can't even imagine.
[uncomfortable pause]
That probably would've sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Buffy the Vampire Slayer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
