Hank Schrader quotes from Breaking Bad

Walter

[whispering to Jesse what to say to Hank] This is my own private domicile and I won't be harassed.

Hank

Yeah? Tell you what, Pinkman. Probable cause or no, I'll give you three seconds to get your ass out here! One, two...

Jesse

This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed... [beat] Bitch!

Hank

...I was convinced that Mr. Pinkman was involved in the manufacture and distribution of phenyl-2 methamphetamine, specifically what we're calling the blue meth. I tracked him to a scrapyard where he stored an early-'80s camper, an RV. While waiting for a warrant to search this vehicle, which I believe to be a rolling meth lab, I received a telephone call telling me my wife Marie had been injured in an accident. Upon hearing the news, I left Mr. Pinkman and his vehicle to tend to my wife. After arriving at the hospital, I learned the emergency call was a hoax. My wife, fortunately, was unharmed. [clears throat] So I immediately went back to the salvage yard, but the RV was gone, most likely destroyed on site.

And it was at this point you drove to the home of Jesse Pinkman? [pause; Hank's lawyer whispers something to him]

I think we're done here. Agent Schrader needs to get home to get some rest.

That's fine. But just to confirm, you're taking the Fifth here?

Hank

Yeah, that's correct.

Okay. Well, we just wanna give you all a heads up. Mr. Pinkman is pressing charges in this matter. He's given a detailed version of events as he sees them.

The word of a methhead.

We know all about his history. We're well aware, but toxicology on Pinkman... his blood is clean, he's not using.

The kid is even refusing his doctor-ordered pain meds, as far as we can tell.

Hank

So, um, where do we go from here?

A couple of gentlemen from OPR will come down, probably tomorrow morning. Janice will give us an exact time on that. [to the AQPD detectives] And you men will be continuing your investigation, so, thanks for your time.

Right. We just need one more thing: A photo of Agent Schrader's hands. For the record.

Hank

Yes, of course. [looks at his right wrist]

Bandage off, if you would.

On the table is fine. Flat on the table. That's fine.

Marie

You made one mistake.

Hank

It wasn't one mistake. I've been... unraveling, y'know? I don't sleep at night anymore. I freeze, I freeze up. My chest gets all tight, I can't breathe. Just... I panic. Ever since that Salamanca thing. Tuco Salamanca, if ever a scumbag deserved a bullet between the eyes... It changed me and I can't seem to control it. I try to fight it, but then El Paso. It just got worse. What I did to Pinkman... that's not who I'm supposed to be. All this, everything that's happened, I swear to God, Marie, I think the universe is trying to tell me something and I'm finally ready to listen. I'm just not the man I thought I was. I think I'm done as a cop.

Marie

You can do this, Hank. Come on. It's supposed to hurt. Pain is weakness leaving your body.

Hank

Pain is my foot in your ass, Marie.

Marie

Hey, if you could get your leg up that high, I say go for it.

Marie

I had to go to three different places to get the moisturizer that you liked, but I got that and I got your Shiner Bock and your chips and–I couldn't resist–the complete encyclopedia to fantasy football. Look, it has all the latest rankings.

Hank

[looking at the chips] Marie, I said Cheetos, not Fritos.

Marie

Wait, I—

Hank

I must've said Cheetos like ten times. You need me to write it down for you?

Marie

No, and I don't need you to be mean about it either, Mr. Grumpy.

Hank

Well, I'm just saying, y'know, I said Cheetos. Ch-ch-ch-sound. Virtually impossible to confuse Cheetos with Fritos it seems to me. Where are you going?

Marie

Back to the store, I guess. [throws Hank the fantasy football magazine] Here.

Hank

And the draft is not for two months so this is useless!

Hank

[looking at Gale's lab notes] Right here, here at the top, it says, "To W.W. My star, my perfect silence." "W.W." I mean, who do you figure that is, y'know? Woodrow Wilson? Willy Wonka? ...Walter White?

Walter

Heh. [jokingly putting his hands up] You got me!

Hank

This guy Gale Boetticher, he was eccentric. Real character, y'know? He's, uh, he's dead now.

Skyler

Who was he?

Walter Jr.

He was a meth cook.

Hank

Uh, he was a meth chef. We're talking five-stars, candles and white tablecloth, y'know? I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth, but he was a genius, plain and simple. I mean, uh–Boy, if he applied that big brain of his to something good, I dunno, who knows? He could've helped humanity or something like that. I mean, how many actual geniuses are there in the world? If he'd have taken his life in a different direction, who knows?

Hank, not to tell you your business, but I'm not sure I agree.

Hank

What do you mean?

Well, you showed me that notebook and from what I saw–and this is just my humble opinion–from what I saw on those papers... genius? Not so much. I mean, there was no reasoning, no deductions in those pages, so to my eye, all this brilliance looks like nothing more than just simple rote copying, probably of someone else's work. Believe me, I have been around enough students to know. So this genius of yours, maybe he's still out there.

Marie

You find something?

Hank

Oh, just this... this guy I'm looking at. You know, everything he buys and eats is organic, fair trade, vegan. [looks at a Los Pollos Hermanos napkin with notes on it found in Gale's apartment] Since when do vegans eat fried chicken?

Hank

I mean, what do we know about Gustavo Fring, huh? This whole friend of law enforcement thing? Could be a case of keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. I mean, he's got the money to finance this operation, maybe he's got the connections, too. Maybe–just maybe–he's our guy.

Hank, no offense, but I think you're really reaching.

If your guy had his meeting at KFC, you wouldn't immediately assume that he's sitting down with Colonel Sanders.

Hank

You know, I couldn't agree more, guys. Gustavo Fring, blue meth... Whole thing is off-the-map nuts. I ought to be wearing a tinfoil hat, you know? Except I can't seem to wrap my mind around this one little thing, and that is, what are Gustavo Fring's fingerprints doing in Gale Boetticher's apartment?

Hank

So, what do ya say, buddy? Got another field trip in ya?

Walter

[feigning illness] Uh, Hank, uh, I mean, it sounds great, really does, but y'know, I won't lie, you caught me somewhat... indisposed.

Hank

What do ya mean, like, taking a dump indisposed?

Walter

Yeah, that's... embarrassingly, that's it. Y'know, it's just upset stomach and everything. It's out of control... really explosive. Bad Tex-Mex at the mall.

Hank

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, you don't have to paint me a picture. Probably one guy in a diaper is enough for this trip anyway.

A, E, I, O... [Hector rings the bell] Row O. P, Q, R, S. [Hector rings the bell] First letter S. A, E, I, O, U... [Hector rings the bell repeatedly] Second letter U. A... [Hector rings the bell] A, B, C... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I... [Hector rings the bell] J, K... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I... [Hector rings the bell] J, K, L, M... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I, O, U... [Hector rings the bell] Row U. V, W, X, Y... [Hector rings the bell]

Alright, that's enough. Thank you. [shows Hank that Hector so far spelled out "Suck My"]

Hank

Yeah, thanks, I can spell. Well, got that out of your system now? Should we try this one more time? [Hector rings the bell]

A, E... [Hector rings the bell] F... [Hector rings the bell] A, E, I, O, U... [Hector rings the bell repeatedly] A... [Hector rings the bell] B, C...

Hank

Yeah, we... We got it, yeah.

I am just so, so sorry.

Hank

Well, at least this time he didn't shit himself. I guess that's progress.

So Hector Salamanca killed Fring. Then who gave Salamanca the bomb?

Hank

A whole lot of questions. Not much in the way of answers. Yet.

The APD did find some of Fring's financials. That just might lead to something.

I had him out to my house. Fourth of July, cooked out in the backyard. My son shucked the corn, my daughter cut up potatoes. Fring brought sea bass. Every time I grill it now, I make a little foil pouch, just like he showed me. That whole night, we were laughing, telling stories, drinking wine. And he's somebody else completely...

...Right in front of me. Right under my nose.

Hank

To what do we owe the pleasure?

Saul

Well, gentlemen, we're here to discuss the illegal harassment of my client.

Hank

[chuckles] This should be good.

Saul

Mr. Ehrmantraut has become the subject of a vicious, relentless and unwarranted DEA persecution.

Hank

Gomey, does uh... does that sound right to you?

I have no idea what he's talking about.

Saul

Play it as cool as you like, Fonzie, but we all know you've been following my client day and night. The poor man can't even spend a few moments with his granddaughter without you guys quivering in the bushes, and peeping through your little binoculars. It's–Well, it's disturbing! [chuckles] And it's taken a toll on his mental and physical well-being.

Hank

[looks Mike over] Your client looks fine to me.

Saul

Well, some hurts only show on the inside. Now, you guys don't even have warrants for these tails, do you?

Hank

Theoretically, these "tails" you refer to would be completely within the boundaries of the law.

You don't need a warrant to follow somebody through a public place, theoretically.

Saul

Now, that is, uh... theoretically correct. However, I would counter that an open-ended, unrestricted surveillance like this amounts to, uh... stalking. [Hank laughs] Which is illegal. Now, I don't know what it is you find so interesting about my client, and I'm not here to judge–different strokes and all–but sadly, he's just not that into you. So, I have filed a temporary restraining order against the DEA, on behalf of Mr. Ehrmantraut.

Hank

...Where'd you get your law degree, Goodman? The same clown college you got that suit?

Saul

You know who likes this suit? Judge Papadoumian; she thinks I'm a snappy dresser. You know what Judge Papadoumian hates? Police harassment of a senior citizen. [Mike leers at him] Sorry. Expect a visit from the sheriff, Agents. You should have your ex parte within the hour.

Hank

Been thinking about this summer job I used to have.

Walter

Oh, yeah?

Hank

Back in college, I'd spend my days... marking trees in the woods with those orange spray cans.

Walter

Marking trees?

Hank

Yeah, crews would come in later and find the trees I tagged and cut 'em down. First you go in and you mark locations for your skid trails and landings. Then you choose specific trees all within a selected grid. Every day, I'd go back hiking, pick up where I'd left off.

Walter

Huh... Sounds nice, being out in the woods all day.

Hank

Ehhh, it wasn't so great. I'd get sunburned... there were mosquitoes. Just wanted to make a few bucks. Buy beer. I've been thinking about that job more and more lately. Maybe I should've enjoyed it more. Tagging trees is a lot better than chasing monsters.

Walter

Well, it’s good to see you up and about.

Hank

Yeah.

Walter

How you feeling?

Hank

Well, you know. I’ve been better, but... I don’t know.

Walter

Have you... Did you get to see a doctor? I mean, when one of these things last more than three days, you really should get that checked.

Hank

Yeah, no, I... I did and I’m fine. I’m, uh... I’m what they say on the upswing, you know?

Walter

Um... Good, good to hear.

Hank

Yeah.

Walter

When I heard you weren’t going in to work, I... Well, looks like you have the work coming to you. Perks of being the boss, huh?

Hank

Yeah, you know. How’s, uh... How’s things at the car wash?

Walter

Good. Yeah, really good. Hey, did you have any of that potato salad?

Hank

I don’t know. Maybe. Yeah, I mean...

Walter

No one else got sick, so you probably shouldn’t worry about it. Well, Skyler will be very happy to hear that you’re felling better. Which reminds me, I better get back to it. If there’s anything I can do... [Hank nods] Feel better.

Walter

You know. You're going to laugh, but I have to ask you... about this.

Walter

Believe it or not, I found this on my car. I mean, it looks just like the GPS tracker that we used on Gus Fring, doesn't it? Back when we were tracking him, just the two of us. You wouldn't know anything about this, would you, Hank?

Walter

You okay? I gotta say, I don't like the way you're looking at me right now.

Walter

Hank.

Hank

It was you. All along, it was you! You son of a bitch. You drove me into traffic to keep me from that laundry.

Walter

Calm down.

Hank

That call I got telling me Marie was in the hospital? That wasn't Pinkman. You had my cell number. You killed ten witnesses to save your sorry ass.

Walter

Listen to me.

Hank

You bombed a nursing home. Heisenberg. Heisenberg! You lying, two-faced sack of shit!

Walter

Hank, look... I don't–I don't know where this is coming from Hank, but—

Hank

I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.

Walter

Let's take a breath, okay? Just listen to yourself. These wild accusations, they could destroy our family! And for what?

Hank

Don't you give me shit about family!

Walter

[beat] Hank, my cancer is back.

Hank

Good. Rot, you son of a bitch.

Walter

I'm sorry you feel that way. I wanna beat this thing. I do. I’m back on chemo, and I am fighting like hell. But the truth is in six months you won’t have someone to prosecute. But even–even if somehow you were able to convince anyone I was capable of doing these things, you and I both know I would never see the inside of a jail cell. I’m a dying man who runs a car wash. My right hand to God, that is all that I am. What’s the point?

Hank

Have Skyler bring the kids here, and then we’ll talk.

Walter

That is not going to happen.

Hank

I don't know who you are. I don't even know who I'm talking to.

Walter

If that's true–if you don't know who I am–then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.