[Skinny Pete is describing Combo's funeral in a voicemail message to Jesse]
Skinny PeteWe missed you at the funeral today. The whole crew was representing. Even Badger came all the way from Fresno. Combo's people, his ma, grandma, cousins. Everyone was all choked up and shit, man. It was, like, emotional. And you should've seen the coffin. It was like this shiny white pearlescence. Like, I'm pretty sure I've seen the exact same paint job on a Lexus, right? So we're definitely talking high end.
You got something for me?
Skinny Pete
Yeah, I found 'em.
[Skinny Pete hands Jesse a piece of paper]
Skinny Pete
Five, yo. No wait...S. No, no... Yeah, five.
Yeah? Jesus, how the hell do you spell "street" wrong? S-T-R-E-A-T?
Skinny Pete
Hey, man, I'm slingin' mad volume and fat stackin' benjis, you know what I'm sayin'? I can't be all about, like, spelling and shit.
Skinny Pete
Hers is like... I dunno, she's just his woman is all. Him, they call Spooge.
Spooge? Not Mad Dog? Not Diesel? So lemme get this straight, you got jacked by a guy named Spooge?
Skinny Pete
Yo, what's his name matter? All's I saw was that knife he stuck in my face, like, that big! But if you're looking for a reason not to go do this thing—
Skinny Pete
'Cause I'd go do it myself, right? It's just I'm on probation and all. So, you gonna do it? [Jesse nods] Good. Right on. 'Cause these two, they need to get got.
The game has changed, yo. This is our city, alright? All of it. The whole damn place. Our territory. We're staking our claim. Yo, we sell when we want, where we want. We're gonna be kings, understand? Well, I'm gonna be king and you guys will be, like, princes or dukes or something.
But first things first: We gotta get more dealers, y'know, foot soldiers, alright? Now they'll be working for you, you're working for me, and I'm working for you. You follow me? Layered, like nachos. Exponential growth. That's success, with a capital S.
Skinny Pete
Straight up, straight up.
[Everybody puts their hands in. Jesse leaves, heads outside and gets into Walter's car]
Well, we're set. Boys are ready. Gonna make some mad cheddar, yo. [pause; Walter looks at Jesse] Cheddar, Mr. White. Fat stacks. Dead Presidents. Cash money. We're gonna own this city.
We're not charging enough.
Corner the market, then raise the price. Simple economics.
[In a flashback, Jesse, Combo and Skinny Pete have just finished partying all night at a strip club. Jesse realizes he spent almost all of Walter's savings, which he was supposed to use to buy the RV]
Skinny Pete
That was... [vomits] Awesome, bro. Later.
[looks at the cash in his hands] Oh, man. Oh, I'm so dead. I only got... Oh, damn. I only got, like $1,400.
CCombo
Waffle House...? Yeah.
No, man. I'm supposed to use that dude's money to buy an RV.
CCombo
What do you want with an RV for?
'Cause, like... It's like... Never mind. Jesus! Now I gotta, like, leave town or change my identity or something! Guy's blackmailing me! He's got, like, a... criminal mind, yo!
CCombo
RV, yeah? [pause] I can hook you up, bro. I can totally get you an RV.
No, I need it today. Now.
CCombo
No problem. Let's go.
You're telling me you can get me an RV? [Combo nods] For $1,400 at six in the morning?
[Combo motions at Jesse to follow him. Later, Jesse is at Combo's mother's house, where an RV is parked in the driveway. After Jesse checks it out, Combo walks out the front door with the keys.]
[takes keys] Right on. So, do I need to sign something or something?
CCombo
Nah, it's like a no-paperwork-type deal.
[Jesse looks back at the RV for a brief moment, then gives Combo the cash]
CCombo
Pleasure doing business with you. [hears lights flick on inside] Come on, we gotta bounce.
CCombo
For real, yo. Get it outta here.
That is awesome, Jesse! I feel like somebody took my brain out and boiled it in, like, boiling hot, like... like, anthrax.
[laughs] Good. So, um you ready to talk some business?
Skinny Pete
You mean, this is not, like, just recreational?
I know what you're thinking. Trust me. It's not going to be like it was, alright? Never gonna be like it was.
Skinny Pete
How's that?
We sell it safe. Alright? We sell it smart. We don't get greedy, like before.
Skinny Pete
I don't know, man. Combo and all.
Badger Still... Man's gotta make his living. If it's like Jesse says and we're not greedy I mean, I guess I can see it.
Skinny Pete
Had a good thing going before we started pushing our luck. If it can go back to being like that and all—
Hey, it will be. Step 1—we build inventory. Badger, go see Clovis. Get the RV in shape–tune up, oil change, brake lights, and whatnot. Cops always pull you over for brake lights. Not us. Cautious.
Alright, just wanted to give you a heads up, it's gonna get a little slower smuggling product with Grandpa Anus watching every move I make. Don't worry, I'll keep it flowing.
Skinny Pete
Right on.
So how's it selling? Mad volume?
Yeah, it's, uh... y'know, it's, uh... It's not so good.
What do you mean? How much have you sold?
One teenth? That's it? To who?
[motions to Skinny Pete] To him. It's not easy selling to these people. They're trying to better themselves.
Skinny Pete
Yeah. There's, like, positivity and stuff goin' on here.
I'm out risking my ass to get product for you two, and you're too pussy to sell? You're pathetic. You know what? I want it back. All of it. I'll sell it myself.
Come on, man. Don't be like that. Selling to these people, it's like shooting a baby in the face. It's not natural.
Skinny Pete
Left 4 Dead, yo. The way them bitches get all cranial when you cap 'em in the head, it's like BOOYAH!
No, no, no, man. Resident Evil 4 takes it by a long shot.
Skinny Pete
Oh please, brotha, you're frontin'.
No, man, seriously, that chick? The one you gotta rescue? She's smoking, bro. And then you're like the last undead dude on Earth, so how can you not be dipping into that? Talk about inspiring a brother to kick some zombie ass!
Skinny Pete
They're trying to eat your brain, bro. A dude don't need no more motivation.
That's a fair point, I guess. Okay, okay, okay, Call of Duty: World at War zombie mode. Now that's the bomb, man. Think on it, bro. They're not just zombies: They're Nazi zombies.
Skinny Pete
Nazi zombies...
Yeah, man! SS Waffen troopers, too, which are like the baddest-ass Nazis of the whole Nazi family!
Skinny Pete
Zombies are dead, man! What difference does it make what their job was when they was living?
Dude, you are so historically retarded! Nazi zombies don't wanna eat ya just 'cause they're craving the protein. They do it 'cause–they do it 'cause–they hate Americans, man. Talibans. They're the Talibans of the zombie world.
Skinny Pete
I played the game, bro. They ain't exactly fleet of foot. I'm saying, where's the challenge? At least the zombies in Left 4 Dead clock a respectable 40! You gotta lead 'em and shit!
Dude, that's 'cause they're not even zombies! They're just infected! They got like this rage virus. Amps 'em up like they've been smoking the schwag! Apples and oranges, bro. Totally unfair to compare the two.
Dude, you are tripping! I'm not dead! I'm on the Starship Enterprise macking on Yeoman Rand while the Andorian with the disrupter's back on Talos IV or whatever.
Skinny Pete
What do you think all those sparkles and shit are? Transporters are breaking you apart right down to your molecules and bones. They're makin' a copy. That dude who comes out on the other side? He's not you. He's a color Xerox.
So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transport he was killing himself? So over the whole series, there was, like, 147 Kirks?
Skinny Pete
At least! Dude, yo, why do you think McCoy never likes to beam nowhere?! 'Cause he's a doctor, bitch! Look it up, it's science!
Ever tell you about my Star Trek script?
Skinny Pete
Star Trek script?
Yeah! I gotta write it down is all. The Enterprise is five parsecs out of Rigel XII. Nothing's going on, Neutral Zone is quiet, the crew is bored, so they put on a pie-eating contest. The whole crew's in the galley. They're eating tulaberry pies–
Skinny Pete
Tulaberry?
Tulaberries. From Gamma Quadrant, yo.
Skinny Pete
That's Voyager, dude!
Okay, blueberries, then! They're eating blueberry pies...
Skinny Pete
Better.
...as fast as the replicator can churn 'em out. [imitates replicator noise] Burdalurdalurp-pssst! Burdalurdalurp-pssst! Finally, it's down to just three: Kirk, Spock, and Chekov. Okay, Spock always wins these things.
Skinny Pete
How is Spock gonna beat Kirk, yo? Spock's like a toothbrush! Look at Kirk! He's got room to spare!
Spock has total Vulcan control over his digestion! You wanna hear this or not?
Skinny Pete
Yeah, yeah, go.
Okay, finally–Kirk, he can't take it anymore. He yorks. Now it's just down to Chekov and Spock. But Chekov, y'see, he's got a whole fat stack of quatloos riding on this. And he has figured out a way to win. He's got Scotty back in the transporter room locked in on Chekov's stomach. Every time Chekov eats a pie, Scotty beams it right out of him.
Skinny Pete
Where is he sending them, the toilet?
Skinny Pete
Uugghh!
There's blueberries just floating out there frozen–because it's in space–and Chekov is just shoveling them into his mouth, and–and Spock is like, "I can't believe this Russian is defeating me!" Meanwhile, Scotty's in the transporter room fiddling with levers when Lieutenant Uhura comes in and she's got, y'know, her big pointies, and Scotty's fingers are all sweaty.
Skinny Pete
No!
Chekov screams, he sprays blood out of his mouth...
Skinny Pete
Ohhhh!
...Scotty beamed his guts into space!
Skinny Pete
No way!
[Badger and Skinny Pete return to Walter's car after posing as fake hitmen]
You know, I don't exactly know how to feel about all this.
Skinny Pete
For real, yo. The whole thing felt kinda shady, you know, like, morality-wise.
[Walter hands them a couple of bundles of money]
[Badger and Skinny Pete take the money]
Skinny Pete
Better.
Yeah, definitely improving.
What's this I hear about blue meth still being out there?
Skinny Pete
What do you mean?
You heard anything? Is it still being sold?
It's you, right? I mean... aren't you still cooking?
Skinny Pete
Damn, man! We were sure it was you, 'cause that shit is choice, yo! Better than ever! I mean, um, you know...
Breaking Bad · 300 quotes
