Hank Schrader quotes from Breaking Bad

Hank

So be on notice. We got new players in town. We don't know who they are, where they come from, but they possess an extremely high skill-set. Me personally? I'm thinking Albuquerque just might have a new kingpin.

Hank

[interrogating a meth head] So... let me get this straight, Russell. You got this meth from "some dude" wearing khaki pants, who–you're 80% sure–had a mustache. And that's it? That's your brain working at full capacity?

Hank

Officially, Fring's not a suspect. But I'm telling ya, something deep down says he's my guy. Just gotta prove it.

Hank

Look, the day I go in with this, it's the last day of my career, Marie. I'm going to have to walk in there, look those people in the eye and admit that the person I've been chasing the past year is my own brother-in-law. It's over for me. Ten seconds after I tell this story, I'm a civilian. Then how can we help Skyler when she comes to her senses? When I go in there, I'm bringing proof. Not suspicion. I can be the man who caught him, at least.

Hank

You know who lives in the palace? Meth-heads. Nasty, skeevy meth-heads who'd sell their grandma's coochie for a hit. [Walter Jr. chuckles] Oh, you think that's funny? That's funny, huh? Yeah. Let me tell you something. Every one of these miserable wastes of skin got started how? How do you think they started?

Walter Jr.

I don't know.

Hank

What do you think it was they were all doing before they graduated to shooting meth in their dicks? A gateway drug. That's what we call it. Dollars to doughnuts, and I shit you not, that gateway drug was marijuana, every time. You understand?

Walter Jr.

Um... Yeah. So, why are you telling me this?

Hank

'Cause I love you, you little bastard.

Walter

It's funny, isn't it? How we draw that line.

Hank

Yeah. What line is that?

Walter

Well, what's legal, what's illegal. You know, Cuban cigars, alcohol. You know, if we were drinking this in 1930, we'd be breaking the law. Another year, we'd be okay. Who knows what will be legal next year.

Hank

You mean like pot?

Walter

Yeah. Like pot. Or whatever.

Hank

Cocaine? Heroin?

Walter

I'm just saying it's arbitrary.

Hank

Well, you ought to visit lockup. You hear a lot of guys talking like that. "Hey, man, what you busting me with these 14 bales of ganja? It's all going to be legal next year when Willie Nelson's president." Say it, buddy. It don't only go one way either. I mean, some other stuff is legal that shouldn't be. I mean, frigging meth used to be legal. Used to sell it over every counter at every pharmacy across America. Thank God they came to their senses on that one, huh?

Hank

So who's your chief, little Injun?

Jesse

What? What does that even mean?

Hank

It means I think your story's bullshit. I think you know who Tuco Salamanca was. I think your car was there because you were there. Tuco had a bullet in him when I got there and I think you know something about that, too.

Jesse

So what're you saying? Like, I shot someone with, like, a gun?

Hank

You? No. Only shooting that you do is into a Kleenex.

Hank

Gomie, you want to do the honors?

[in Spanish] Good afternoon, Mr. Salamanca. Do you understand English?

Hank

What does that mean?

That means, "yes". "Yes" is a bell, "no" is no bell.

Jesse

Oh, c'mon! This is bullshit! I mean, look at this dude, alright? He doesn't even know what planet he's living on!

Señor, are we on the planet Mars? [pause; no bell] Are we on the planet Saturn? [pause; still no bell] Are we on the planet Earth? [Hector rings the bell] Señor, is today Friday? [pause; no bell] Is today Monday? [pause; still no bell] Is today Tuesday? [Hector rings the bell]

Hank

Okay, seems like he's all there. Let's go for it.

Señor, was this man at your house yesterday? [long pause; Hector does nothing] Señor, was this man at your house yesterday?

Hank

This guy right here, he was at your house, right? Was he doing business with your nephew Tuco?

Señor, are you scared of this man?

Hank

Nah, he's not scared. C'mon granddad, why don't you wanna help us out?

Oh, man!

Hank

I guess that's a "no"....

Hank

So things are quiet, y'know? Not a lot of crystal on the streets right now.

Good.

Hank

Of course, that's not gonna last. I'm waiting to see who's gonna rally the roaches now that his turf is up for grabs.

No takers so far?

Hank

Well, we keep hearing a name. Heisenberg. Lately pretty much every dimebagger we come across.

Heisenberg?

Hank

Yeah, I know. Maybe it's a tweaker urban legend. Still, somebody somewhere is cooking that big blue we keep finding.

Hey white boy, my name's Tortuga. You know what that means?

Hank

If I have to guess, I'd say that's Spanish for asshole.

Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

Schrader, where you going?

Hank

E... Evidence bag... Bag...

What's the matter, Schrader? You act like you've never seen a severed human head on a tortoise before!

Hey! Welcome to—

Walter

I have spent my whole life frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine.

Hank

Hmmm... Okay.

Walter

And I came to realize: It's that fear, that's the worst of it. That's the real enemy. So... get up, get out in the real world, and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.

Walter

Um... Well, it's kind of funny. When I got my diagnosis–cancer–I said to myself, y'know, "Why me?" And then, the other day when I got the good news, I said the same thing. [beat; all the party guests are silent with confusion] Anyway, uh, thank you for coming and... enjoy.

Hank

Wow. Inspirational.

Walter

Hey! Bring. The bottle. Back.

Hank

Sorry, buddy. No can do.

Walter

My son! My bottle! My house!

Hank

[to other party guests] It's all right.

Walter

What are you waiting for? Bring it back!

Hank

Why don't we just call it a day? All right, pal? We good?

Walter

The bottle. Now.

Skyler

What's going on?

Hank

Whoa, whoa, no heavy lifting. I got it.

Walter

No, it's okay.

Hank

I got it. Jesus, what you got in there? Cinder blocks?

Walter

[thinks for a few seconds] Half a million in cash.

Hank

[chuckles] That's the spirit!