[Walter enters Tuco's office, as he examines a sample of the pound of meth Walter brought with him]
WalterHeisenberg.
Heisenberg. Okay. Have a seat, Heisenberg.
Walter
I don't imagine I'll be here very long.
No? Alright, be that way. It's your meeting. Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want?
Walter
$50,000.
[laughs] Oh, man! Fifty G's? How you figure that?
Walter
Thirty-five for the pound of meth you stole and another fifteen for my partner's pain and suffering.
Partner? [puts a cigarette out on his tongue] Oh, yeah! I remember that little bitch! So you must be daddy. [bursts out laughing] Let me get this straight: I steal your dope, I beat the piss out of your mule boy, and then you walk in here, and you bring me more meth?! [laughs hysterically] Woo! That's a brilliant plan, esé.
Walter
You got one part of that wrong. [reaches out and picks up the crystal Tuco had examined] This... is not meth.
[Walter throws the piece to the floor. The impact causes a tremendous explosion which knocks everyone off their feet and blows out all the windows in Tuco's office. Walter grabs the bag in the midst of the smoke.]
Walter
[holding the bag threateningly over his head] You wanna find out?
[Tuco's men get to their feet and draw their guns]
No-Doze, Gonzo, calma! Calma. Calma. You got balls, I'll give you that. Alright... alright. I'll give you your money.
[Tuco opens his safe and hands Walter a sack filled with $50,000.]
That crystal your partner brought me, it sold faster than $10 ass in T.J. What say you bring me another pound next week?
Walter
Money up front.
Alright. Money up front. Sometimes you got to rob to keep your riches, just as long as we got an understanding.
Walter
One pound is not going to cut it. You have to take two.
Orale. [points to Walter's bag] Hey, what is that shit?
Walter
Fulminated mercury, and a little tweak of chemistry.
[Walter and Jesse are meeting Tuco at a junkyard]
A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place?
Walter
What's wrong with it? It's private.
This is... This is like a... a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet. This is like, "Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me."
Walter
Yeah, so... so where do you transact business? Enlighten me.
I don't know. How about Taco Cabeza? Half the deals I've ever done went down at Taco Cabeza. Nice and public. Open twenty-four hours. Nobody ever gets shot at Taco Cabeza. Hell, why not the mall? You know, wait at the Gap. "Hey! It's time for the meet!" You know, I'll put down the flat-front khakis, head on over, grab an Orange Julius. Skip the part where psycho lunatic Tuco, you know, comes and steals my drugs and leaves me bleeding to death.
[Tuco pulls up in his Escalade. Jesse fidgets]
Walter
Look, you don't have to be here for this, okay? I mean, seriously. I'm okay.
Nah, I'm no pussy. I'm good.
[Tuco and his henchmen get out]
Mr. Clean and his boy. [to Jesse] Now, I'm sorry I had to tune you up. Respect, ese. You gotta give it to get it. [looks around] Hey, what are we doing way the hell out here? What, they close the mall or something? [Jesse glances at Walter] Heisenberg, come on, break it out. [Walter takes out a bag of meth] That's it? That's all you got?
Walter
We had some production problems.
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the meth] Point five three.
I thought you was a player. You told me two pounds, and now you waste my time with these chiclets? [tosses Walter his money] Seventeen-and-a-half, minus the half for wasting my time.
Walter
Hey, come on.
What?! You gonna argue?! You got something to say?! [pause] You're doing business like a couple little bitches.
Walter
I want all of it. [everyone stares at him] Seventy grand.
Walter
You like this product, and you want more. Consider it a capital investment.
[gets in Walt's face] Look, old bald motherfucker. Fifty-two and a half, 25 points vig.
Walter
Vig?
[Tuco looks at Jesse]
Walter
...Okay. That's $65,625 with interest. 1.875 pounds.
No. Two pounds. Next Friday, and no production problems.
Walter
Can you handle four pounds?
[Tuco and Jesse look at Walter in disbelief]
Listen, old man. Talk is talk, but owing me money... that's bad.
[Smoking some illicit Cuban cigars]
Walter
It's funny, isn't it? How we draw that line.
Walter
Well, what's legal, what's illegal. You know, Cuban cigars, alcohol. You know, if we were drinking this in 1930, we'd be breaking the law. Another year, we'd be okay. Who knows what will be legal next year.
Walter
Yeah. Like pot. Or whatever.
Walter
I'm just saying it's arbitrary.
Well, you ought to visit lockup. You hear a lot of guys talking like that. "Hey, man, what you busting me with these 14 bales of ganja? It's all going to be legal next year when Willie Nelson's president." Say it, buddy. It don't only go one way either. I mean, some other stuff is legal that shouldn't be. I mean, frigging meth used to be legal. Used to sell it over every counter at every pharmacy across America. Thank God they came to their senses on that one, huh?
Walter
Hey, everything okay?
No, not really. Heh, actually not at all. You know that, uh, tiara that Marie gave us?
Walter
Yeah.
Well, she stole it. Yep, I practically got arrested trying to return it at the store.
Walter
Oh, my God.
I mean, she refuses to admit it. She refuses to apologize. I–I don't know what to do.
Walter
Hm... people sometimes do things for their families.
"People sometimes do things for their families"? And, what, that justifies stealing?
Walter
Well...
Wow, that must have been some sweat lodge. Are you even listening to the words coming out of your mouth?
Walter
What would you do if it were me?
What do you mean, "if it were you"?
Walter
If it were me, what would you do? Would you divorce me, would you turn me in to the police?
You don't want to find out.
[Walter and Jesse meet Tuco and his men at the junkyard with their new meth]
What is this shit? This is blue.
Walter
We used a different chemical process, but it is every bit as pure.
It may be blue, but it's the bomb.
[snorts meth] Tight! Tight, tight, yeah! Oh, blue, yellow, pink, whatever, man! Just keep bringing me that! [he hands the bag of meth to No Doze, and gives Walter a bag of cash]
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the bag of meth] Four point six.
[working out the value of the excess in his head] Uh… Come on. [Gonzo gives two more clips of money to Walter and Jesse] What did I say, man? This guy can cook! You're alright, man. You're alright. We're going to make a lot of money together.
NDNo-Doze
[with a lot of attitude] Just remember who you're working for.
[angered, he turns and faces him] What did you say?
NDNo-Doze
I'm just saying they got to know that they're working for you.
Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, I'm just...I'm just saying.
Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, come on, Tuco. I'm just... I'm just saying.
No, you're just speaking for me! Like I ain't got the GODDAMN SENSE TO SPEAK FOR MYSELF! Is that it? Is that what you're doing?
Walter
Tuco. Tuco, hey, why don't we just all relax, huh?
[laughs] Heisenberg says "relax". Orale, homes. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed-
[Tuco punches No-Doze in the face. Tuco proceeds to punch him over and over while he is on the ground, leaving him bloody and possibly dead]
[showing off his bloody knuckles] WOOO! Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up. [inhales] Okay, Heisenberg! Next week. [chuckles]
[Tuco and Gonzo drive off with No-Doze's bloody body. Walter and Jesse look at each other in horror]
Oh, we are dead. Dead men! Muerto, or muerte, or however the hell you...Jesus...
Walter
This is conjecture.
Walter
Conjecture, yes. And conjecture isn't helping.
Oh, my conjecture isn't helping?
Walter
Could you just state the facts?
Alright, fine, facts in. Fact A: My phone rang like eight times last night. Dead air, hang-ups every time. Second fact? Like three in the morning, I saw that black Caddy of his cruising my neighborhood. No headlights.
Walter
No, if he wanted to kill us, he would have done it at the junkyard.
What is that? Conjecture? Are you basing that on that he's got a normal, healthy brain or something? Did you not see him beat a dude to death for, like, nothing? And that way–that way he just kept staring at us. Saying, "You're done." You're done?! You wanna know what that means? I will tell you what that means! That means exactly how it sounds, yo! Alright, we are witnesses, we are loose ends! Right now, Tuco's thinking, "Yeah, hey, they cook good meth, but can I trust them?" What happens when he decides, "no"?
[Jesse is explaining how he will kill Tuco]
Alright, say we set up one last sale–this is providing he doesn't decide to waste us before then. Now every time we bring in a new batch, he always tests the product, right? So... as his head is down, y'know giving it a snort, just: Pop, pop, pop!
Walter
Pop, pop, pop? So, three shots?
Yeah, three shots, or I dunno, two?
Walter
No, wait—So, is it two or is it three?
I mean, two would probably work, I guess, yeah.
Walter
Okay, two shots. Two shots in the chest, two shots in the face? What?
Walter
No, I am just trying to understand how this works! [pause] Okay. Alright, we'll put a pin in that—but by now, the big guy, Gonzo, he's probably coming at you, right?
Walter
Right, so you turn towards him...
Walter
...and then, how many shots for him? I mean, he's a big guy, right? How many shots does that take?
I dunno, three? Three shots?
Walter
Okay, three shots. Okay, Tuco and Gonzo, two men down... Now, is there anyone else there? I mean, Tuco is usually with someone else, right? Maybe even a couple of guys, his- his dealers, his posse? [Jesse is unable to answer] Alright. So, we'll put a pin in that one, too. Now at this point, how many shots have been fired? I mean, you've gotta be running low, right? How many bullets does that gun even take?
[Jesse tries to open the gun to check, but is unable to do so, and eventually puts it down in defeat]
Walter
How can you suggest that we kill a man and you can't even open the gun? It's not that easy, is it?
Hey, man, Walt... You did it.
Look, it's got five bullets. I finally figured out how to... [struggles to open the gun]Look, I just finally... [gets it open] I figured it out. I say we get a second gun. Right? For you? I mean, don't we like double our chances? I mean, mathematically?
Walter
I've got a better idea.
Oh, thank God! Alright, what is it, Mr. White? Lay it on me.
Walter
[holds up a small bag of...] Beans.
Walter
They're castor beans.
So what are we gonna do with them? Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk, huh? Climb it and escape?
Walter
We are going to process them into ricin.
Walter
[rolls his eyes] Ricin. It's an extremely effective poison. It's toxic in small doses. Also fairly easy to overlook during an autopsy.
Walter
[slaps Jesse's hand away from the beans] Don't touch them!
Seriously? You can get poisoned from beans?
Walter
Yes. Back in the late ‘70s, ricin was used to assassinate a Bulgarian journalist. The KGB modified the tip of an umbrella to inject a tiny pellet into the man’s leg. And we’re talking about an amount not much bigger than the head of a pin.
Walter
Oh, yes. Now, we just need to figure out a delivery device. And then, no more Tuco.
Last two days, I couldn’t get Gonzo on the phone. He’s been acting all pouty on account of No Doze. Explain to me. How is it my fault that that little bitch did not know his place? [pause] I saw this coming. I can see the future, you know? It’s this gift that I have deep inside my head. I knew last night they were gonna come try and bust me. Gonzo...he went and snitched to the cops! That LOUSY SON OF A BITCH! I TRUSTED HIM LIKE A BROTHER! [grabs knife] I WAS GOOD TO HIM! I WAS GOOD!!!! I see Gonzo, [starts stabbing the table with the knife] I'M GONNA GUT HIM, I'M GONNA SKIN HIM, AND I'M GONNA STUFF HIS HIDE FOR A HEAVY BAG!!!!!!! And every time I hit him, it's gonna be like a lesson to myself! YOU NEVER, NEVER TRUST THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE!
[long pause] So, you plan to, uh, ice Gonzo, like...future tense?
Walter
You're saying, Tuco... You're saying Gonzo is currently operating as a police informant as far as you know? [Tuco nods] I'm very sorry to hear that. That's disappointing.
Yeah. I would waste him, too, yo.
[Walter and Jesse lament over their failed attempt at poisoning Tuco with a meth sample laced with ricin]
Walter
Chili powder. Did I not already tell you how moronic that was?
Whatever, man. At least I tried something. Hey, it almost worked, too. How's about you leaving my gun, huh? First you boost it, then you leave it in your house. My gun.
Walter
How was I supposed to know you were chauffeuring Tuco to my doorstep?
Well, at least he wants you alive.
Walter
We need a plan.
Think, think. Let's just bum rush him, man. You know, you crack him over the head with something and I'll go for his gun.
Walter
Crack him over the head with something? [sarcastically holds up a fly swatter]
You got the C, man, alright? You're as good as checked out already, okay? You should be all like sacrificial, jumping on a grenade, yo. Just...
Walter
Oh, so my life is not the priority here because I'm gonna be dead soon anyway? That's your point?
[Hector, Tuco's invalid uncle, keeps ringing his bell after catching Walter and Jesse attempting to poison Tuco's food]
What? What do you want?! No. Don't even tell me you're hungry. Don't go there. [notices Hector staring at Walter and Jesse; laughs] Are you mad doggin' them, tio? What, you don't like them? [Hector rings the bell] One ding. That means yes. Tio don't like you. Why don't you like them, tio? You don't trust them? [Hector rings the bell] Why don't you trust them, tio?
Walter
Tuco, c'mon. Hey, he's–There's clearly some dementia. He's not lucid.
Shh! Did they do something to you, tio? Was it something that you don't like? [Hector rings the bell] What did they do to you? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY TIO?!
Walter
Nothing, nothing.
BULLSHIT! MY TIO DOES NOT LIE!
Walter
I don't know. I swear, I don't know. No, maybe it was–I did change the channel on his TV, but, uh...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. While you were cooking, you know, he was watching one of those, uh, those, uh, telenovels, y'know, with all those ripe honeys on it? Y'know, he was really into it. [to Walter] I told you not to change the channel, man! Y'know, dude needs his eye candy! That's it!
[laughs] Tio! Is that it, tio? Is that it, tio? Did they change your mamitas? [Hector is silent] What are you telling me, tio? Huh? Are they punking me? [Hector rings the bell]
[Tuco slowly walks toward Jesse]
Hey... No. No, man. No...
[Tuco grabs Jesse and drags him outside]
Walter
No, no, Tuco!
[Walter runs after them as Tuco begins to beat up Jesse]
Walter
Tuco...
[Tuco punches Jesse in the stomach and points the rifle at his head]
No, please, no! God, please, no! Oh, God, I don't wanna die!
Tell me what you did, Walter!
Jesus, I don't wanna die! NO!
[Walter notices Jesse has dug up a rock]
Walter
We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you are an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die.
[Jesse bashes Tuco in the face with the rock. He drops the rifle into a shallow pit. Walter grabs it as Tuco and Jesse scuffle on the ground. Jesse manages to grab a small pistol tucked into Tuco's belt and shoots Tuco in the gut. Tuco screams in pain]
[kicking Tuco into the shallow pit] Who's the bitch now?!
Walter
Let him bleed.
[Walter is in therapy to help treat his "fugue state"]
Walter
Look, doctor, I feel fine. Really. Now, if this is truly necessary, can't I continue as an outpatient?
TTherapist
Walt, a fugue state is a very serious event. What if you were to disassociate when you were driving? What if you were to get into a situation where you could be shot by the police? You understand we can't allow you to leave, until we're certain what happened is a non-recurring event. Saying you feel fine doesn't solve this.
Walter
[beat] Would you tell me about patient confidentiality?
TTherapist
It's very straightforward; without your permission, I can't disclose anything you tell me to anyone.
Walter
What about my family?
TTherapist
Not to your family, not to the police, not to anyone. The only exception would be if you threatened to kill someone... then I'd be able to tell that person, but only that person.
Walter
And you–as a medical practitioner–you abide by these strictures absolutely?
Walter
Alright... there was no fugue state. I remember everything. [stands up; removes tubing] The truth is... I couldn't stand to spend another second in that house. I just had to...get out, and so I left. I didn't think about it, I just did it. I-I walked for a long time, and when I couldn't walk anymore, I hitchhiked. I got as far as Gallup... [sighs] ...and then it was just time to come home.
TTherapist
So, being found naked in a supermarket; that was your way of giving credibility to a lie, of avoiding questions about your disappearance? Why run away? What did you feel you had to run from?
Walter
Doctor, my wife is seven months pregnant with a baby we didn't intend. My fifteen-year old son has cerebral palsy. I am an extremely overqualified high school chemistry teacher. When I can work, I make $43,700 per year. I have watched all of my colleagues and friends surpass me in every way imaginable, and within eighteen months, I will be dead. And you ask why I ran?
Walter
Pay phone?
Pay phone, middle of nowhere, nobody followed. So how'd it go?
Walter
Okay. You?
They sweated me plenty, but they finally cut me loose. So you getting out of there?
Walter Tomorrow. So who came for you? The DEA? What'd they ask you?
Yeah, that's the thing, y'know? Your scumbag brother-in-law took my rainy day fund.
Walter
Your what? What is that?
My rainy day fund, $68,000, okay? Cue ball son of a bitch laughed in my face. Now I got, like, eighty bucks to my name.
Walter
Wait, wait, what does he know? Does he know it's your money?
No, man, he doesn't know shit, okay? The plan worked. He bought it. I got bills due, man. I'm screwed.
Walter
Did he mention my name?
Walter
How about the basement?
Walter
And the RV?
Badger's cousin took it to his garage. It's safe.
Walter
Can he get it running again?
Walter
So we can cook.
You still wanna cook? Seriously?
Walter
What's changed, Jesse?
Breaking Bad · 300 quotes
