[Walter enters Tuco's office, as he examines a sample of the pound of meth Walter brought with him]
TucoWhat's your name?
Tuco
Heisenberg. Okay. Have a seat, Heisenberg.
I don't imagine I'll be here very long.
Tuco
No? Alright, be that way. It's your meeting. Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want?
Tuco
[laughs] Oh, man! Fifty G's? How you figure that?
Thirty-five for the pound of meth you stole and another fifteen for my partner's pain and suffering.
Tuco
Partner? [puts a cigarette out on his tongue] Oh, yeah! I remember that little bitch! So you must be daddy. [bursts out laughing] Let me get this straight: I steal your dope, I beat the piss out of your mule boy, and then you walk in here, and you bring me more meth?! [laughs hysterically] Woo! That's a brilliant plan, esé.
You got one part of that wrong. [reaches out and picks up the crystal Tuco had examined] This... is not meth.
[Walter throws the piece to the floor. The impact causes a tremendous explosion which knocks everyone off their feet and blows out all the windows in Tuco's office. Walter grabs the bag in the midst of the smoke.]
Tuco
ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?!
[holding the bag threateningly over his head] You wanna find out?
[Tuco's men get to their feet and draw their guns]
Tuco
No-Doze, Gonzo, calma! Calma. Calma. You got balls, I'll give you that. Alright... alright. I'll give you your money.
[Tuco opens his safe and hands Walter a sack filled with $50,000.]
Tuco
That crystal your partner brought me, it sold faster than $10 ass in T.J. What say you bring me another pound next week?
Tuco
Alright. Money up front. Sometimes you got to rob to keep your riches, just as long as we got an understanding.
One pound is not going to cut it. You have to take two.
Tuco
Orale. [points to Walter's bag] Hey, what is that shit?
Fulminated mercury, and a little tweak of chemistry.
[Walter and Jesse are meeting Tuco at a junkyard]
A junkyard? Let me guess, you picked this place?
What's wrong with it? It's private.
This is... This is like a... a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet. This is like, "Oh, I saw this in a movie. Ooh, look at me."
Yeah, so... so where do you transact business? Enlighten me.
I don't know. How about Taco Cabeza? Half the deals I've ever done went down at Taco Cabeza. Nice and public. Open twenty-four hours. Nobody ever gets shot at Taco Cabeza. Hell, why not the mall? You know, wait at the Gap. "Hey! It's time for the meet!" You know, I'll put down the flat-front khakis, head on over, grab an Orange Julius. Skip the part where psycho lunatic Tuco, you know, comes and steals my drugs and leaves me bleeding to death.
[Tuco pulls up in his Escalade. Jesse fidgets]
Look, you don't have to be here for this, okay? I mean, seriously. I'm okay.
Nah, I'm no pussy. I'm good.
[Tuco and his henchmen get out]
Tuco
Mr. Clean and his boy. [to Jesse] Now, I'm sorry I had to tune you up. Respect, ese. You gotta give it to get it. [looks around] Hey, what are we doing way the hell out here? What, they close the mall or something? [Jesse glances at Walter] Heisenberg, come on, break it out. [Walter takes out a bag of meth] That's it? That's all you got?
We had some production problems.
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the meth] Point five three.
Tuco
I thought you was a player. You told me two pounds, and now you waste my time with these chiclets? [tosses Walter his money] Seventeen-and-a-half, minus the half for wasting my time.
Tuco
What?! You gonna argue?! You got something to say?! [pause] You're doing business like a couple little bitches.
I want all of it. [everyone stares at him] Seventy grand.
Tuco
What did you say?
You like this product, and you want more. Consider it a capital investment.
Tuco
[gets in Walt's face] Look, old bald motherfucker. Fifty-two and a half, 25 points vig.
[Tuco looks at Jesse]
...Okay. That's $65,625 with interest. 1.875 pounds.
Tuco
No. Two pounds. Next Friday, and no production problems.
Can you handle four pounds?
[Tuco and Jesse look at Walter in disbelief]
Tuco
Listen, old man. Talk is talk, but owing me money... that's bad.
[Walter and Jesse meet Tuco and his men at the junkyard with their new meth]
Tuco
What is this shit? This is blue.
We used a different chemical process, but it is every bit as pure.
It may be blue, but it's the bomb.
Tuco
[snorts meth] Tight! Tight, tight, yeah! Oh, blue, yellow, pink, whatever, man! Just keep bringing me that! [he hands the bag of meth to No Doze, and gives Walter a bag of cash]
NDNo-Doze
[weighing the bag of meth] Four point six.
Tuco
[working out the value of the excess in his head] Uh… Come on. [Gonzo gives two more clips of money to Walter and Jesse] What did I say, man? This guy can cook! You're alright, man. You're alright. We're going to make a lot of money together.
NDNo-Doze
[with a lot of attitude] Just remember who you're working for.
Tuco
[angered, he turns and faces him] What did you say?
NDNo-Doze
I'm just saying they got to know that they're working for you.
Tuco
Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, I'm just...I'm just saying.
Tuco
Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?
NDNo-Doze
No, come on, Tuco. I'm just... I'm just saying.
Tuco
No, you're just speaking for me! Like I ain't got the GODDAMN SENSE TO SPEAK FOR MYSELF! Is that it? Is that what you're doing?
Tuco. Tuco, hey, why don't we just all relax, huh?
Tuco
[laughs] Heisenberg says "relax". Orale, homes. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed-
[Tuco punches No-Doze in the face. Tuco proceeds to punch him over and over while he is on the ground, leaving him bloody and possibly dead]
Tuco
[showing off his bloody knuckles] WOOO! Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up. [inhales] Okay, Heisenberg! Next week. [chuckles]
[Tuco and Gonzo drive off with No-Doze's bloody body. Walter and Jesse look at each other in horror]
Tuco
Last two days, I couldn’t get Gonzo on the phone. He’s been acting all pouty on account of No Doze. Explain to me. How is it my fault that that little bitch did not know his place? [pause] I saw this coming. I can see the future, you know? It’s this gift that I have deep inside my head. I knew last night they were gonna come try and bust me. Gonzo...he went and snitched to the cops! That LOUSY SON OF A BITCH! I TRUSTED HIM LIKE A BROTHER! [grabs knife] I WAS GOOD TO HIM! I WAS GOOD!!!! I see Gonzo, [starts stabbing the table with the knife] I'M GONNA GUT HIM, I'M GONNA SKIN HIM, AND I'M GONNA STUFF HIS HIDE FOR A HEAVY BAG!!!!!!! And every time I hit him, it's gonna be like a lesson to myself! YOU NEVER, NEVER TRUST THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE!
[long pause] So, you plan to, uh, ice Gonzo, like...future tense?
Tuco
What?
You're saying, Tuco... You're saying Gonzo is currently operating as a police informant as far as you know? [Tuco nods] I'm very sorry to hear that. That's disappointing.
Yeah. I would waste him, too, yo.
Tuco
Shut up.
[Hector, Tuco's invalid uncle, keeps ringing his bell after catching Walter and Jesse attempting to poison Tuco's food]
Tuco
What? What do you want?! No. Don't even tell me you're hungry. Don't go there. [notices Hector staring at Walter and Jesse; laughs] Are you mad doggin' them, tio? What, you don't like them? [Hector rings the bell] One ding. That means yes. Tio don't like you. Why don't you like them, tio? You don't trust them? [Hector rings the bell] Why don't you trust them, tio?
Tuco, c'mon. Hey, he's–There's clearly some dementia. He's not lucid.
Tuco
Shh! Did they do something to you, tio? Was it something that you don't like? [Hector rings the bell] What did they do to you? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY TIO?!
Tuco
BULLSHIT! MY TIO DOES NOT LIE!
I don't know. I swear, I don't know. No, maybe it was–I did change the channel on his TV, but, uh...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. While you were cooking, you know, he was watching one of those, uh, those, uh, telenovels, y'know, with all those ripe honeys on it? Y'know, he was really into it. [to Walter] I told you not to change the channel, man! Y'know, dude needs his eye candy! That's it!
Tuco
[laughs] Tio! Is that it, tio? Is that it, tio? Did they change your mamitas? [Hector is silent] What are you telling me, tio? Huh? Are they punking me? [Hector rings the bell]
[Tuco slowly walks toward Jesse]
Hey... No. No, man. No...
Tuco
COME HERE!
[Tuco grabs Jesse and drags him outside]
[Walter runs after them as Tuco begins to beat up Jesse]
Tuco
SHUT UP!
[Tuco punches Jesse in the stomach and points the rifle at his head]
No, please, no! God, please, no! Oh, God, I don't wanna die!
Tuco
Tell me what you did, Walter!
Jesus, I don't wanna die! NO!
Tuco
TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!
[Walter notices Jesse has dug up a rock]
We tried to poison you. We tried to poison you because you are an insane, degenerate piece of filth and you deserve to die.
[Jesse bashes Tuco in the face with the rock. He drops the rifle into a shallow pit. Walter grabs it as Tuco and Jesse scuffle on the ground. Jesse manages to grab a small pistol tucked into Tuco's belt and shoots Tuco in the gut. Tuco screams in pain]
[kicking Tuco into the shallow pit] Who's the bitch now?!
Breaking Bad · 300 quotes
