George Feeny quotes from Boy Meets World

Feeny

I need you to proctor.

Eric

Me? Proctor? [dreamily] Proctor Matthews.

Feeny

You know what "proctor" is?

Eric

Yeah, it's a tushy doctor. Oh! Eeeeww, I'm not gonna do that!

Feeny

Nebraska, Mr. Hunter. Nebraska!

Shawn

The 75th State! Major Export: Tortillas!

Topanga

[referring to an assignment] I'm doing it and I'm getting an A.

Feeny

It's for no credit, Miss Lawrence.

Topanga

I have six hundred and ninety-nine A's. [stands imposingly] I need one more. [grabs his collar] Give me the A, Feeny!

Feeny

[scared] Okay, fine, you get an A. [Topanga lets go] You don't even have to do it, I'll just give you an A because I'm scared of you. Now that makes an even 700.

Topanga

700. That's more than anybody, right?

Feeny

Oh, more than anybody. [to Cory as he walks by him] Good luck in Hell, Mr. Matthews.

Feeny

You can't tell Cory and Topanga what to do. I've been trying to do that since the first grade. I remember when I tried to separate their desks. She kicked me. He bit me. And some little punk kept saying, "Leave 'em alone! They should get married!"

Shawn

I was cute then, huh?

Feeny

[sarcastically] Precious.

Cory

Are you saying we don't have extraordinary gifts, Mr. Feeny?

Feeny

No, of course not, Mr. Matthews. You also have extraordinary gifts.

Cory

Like what?

Feeny

You have your health. Good for you.

Stuart

Any more questions, George?

Feeny

Just one. Is it okay if I rip off your head and roll it down the hallway?

Cory

You were in my dream, Feeny. And you gave me advice that sucked!

Feeny

I am not responsible for Dream Feeny!

Eric

Oh, wait Mr. Feeny! Great news; I don't have to sleep in your car any more.

Feeny

You've been sleeping in my car? Since when?

Eric

Since I got kicked out of the apartment. I usually wait for you and Dean Whats-her-head to go to bed and then I kinda curl up in the back seat. Unless, of course, I have company over.

Feeny

You have company in my car?!

Eric

Thursday's spaghetti night.

Feeny

Ah, the Tour de Idiot.

Eric

[phony Italian accent] Hi, I'm from-a Italy...

Feeny

Shut up.

Feeny

Eric, I am going to make this so simple that even you can understand it.

Eric

You can try.

Feeny

Hey, moron. Where're the tuxedos?

Eric

Oh, in the limo, baby!

Alan

What limo, baby?

Topanga

Mr. Feeny, how can you keep us locked in this room?

Feeny

A-minus

Topanga

Well played, old man.

Eric

FEENAH! FEE-HEE-HEE-HEE-HEENAH! FEENYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! OOO, THAT WAS A NEW ONE!

Feeny

You are NOT CALLING A DUCK!