BBrad
Could I get you to put your tongue back in your mouth there, soldier?
Thank goodness we have you, Brad, to keep track of our tongues. Would you like a list of the places mine has been this week?
BBrad
Perv.
S3 E14Selling Sickness
It's gonna get ugly, Shirley.
Denny Crane ugly.
Hmm-mm.
VVanessa
I'm sure it's a long, very complicated answer, but what is your problem?
[chuckles] You're right. It's a long...very complicated answer.
S3 E15Fat Burner
How come the other side always has short closings?
So, you going to remind me again how I'm supposed to cross the wife?
Oh, shut up.
Denny Crane never goes down. Except as a lover; I'm giving in bed. [to Alan] Is that relevant?
They're singling me out because I'm Denny Crane. Big name, big splash. Know where I can get a good lawyer? [grins] It's never dull, Alan. Admit it.
I'll have that jury eating out of my lap.
Hand.
S3 E16The Good Lawyer
“You'll recall I once advised you fleeing the practice of law because it's an ugly occupation which calls opponents participants to do ugly things. I'm very accomplished to the practice of law, Jerry.”
...these aliens in the form of Ann Margaret, took me to their spacecraft, and had sex with me.
Holy crap, I shot the rabbi.
You people have an overreacting problem, you do know that?
LLawyer
[offended] "We people?"
Yeah, same thing in Lebanon. They grab a few soldiers, you respond with overkill. And that's a problem.
Are you saying Israel doesn't have the right to defend itself?
Well, of course, they do! But you can't blow up a country just because you get mad! Only the United States enjoys that privilege. We're a superpower; God is on our side.
S3 E19Brotherly Love
What are you doing?
The Secret.
Certainly you can tell me; I'm your flamingo.
No, no, no. The Secret. Haven't you heard? The law of attraction. Get with the program, man.
What are you talking about?
If you think positively, you become a magnet and pull in everything you want towards you.
Really?
I figure if I concentrate on world peace, maybe I can actually make it happen.
You're sitting here concentrating on world peace?
Oh, God, no. Gotta start smaller. I'm thinking Raquel Welch. Get her first, then go for peace.
Alright, this would probably be a good time for a bowel movement. Er, Lunch! I mean lunch. Uh, 2 o'clock?
Could we say 2:30 and make time for both?
Silence! I won't stand for your... your...
Poop?
S3 E20Guise 'n Dolls
I might vote for him, you know.
(surprised) Obama?
Anybody in America can grow up to be President, that's what I say. Except for Hillary! She wins, I puke.
Barack Obama.
Handsome, great photo op. I don't know what he stands for... He'd be a perfect president! Speaks perfect ‘white' as well as ‘black.' Never heard me say that.
What about McCain.
He speaks ‘Bush' now. Can't win.
Obama's against the war now, you know.
So'm I. (Alan looks questioningly) Don't worry. I'm ready for a new war. Time to blow up Iran. And we gotta get Amina.... douche-bag. And that nut job in North Korea. They both gotta go. And not because they're not white!
Of course it does, Alan... you can't please every body. Better to just...
Blow them up.
Exactly. And not because they're not white.
No.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Boston Legal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.