I have nothing against marriage. I've done it five times.
S2 E5Men to Boys
I actually begin my dates by putting cash right on the table.
And that works?
With the hookers.
I'll take a friend over a wife every time.
[to Denny] Did you tell Lori you liked chubby sex?
I meant it as a compliment!
Don't talk about the environment. It's too political and half the people are against you.
Half the people are against the environment?
CCassie
[to Garrett] I screw. I just don't date.
Why is that so important to everyone, maintaining integrity?
First of all, I haven't had sex with a camel since I was in the Army. And the camel never complained.
Alan, I've been Schmidt-canned!
S2 E6Witches of Mass Destruction
JRJudge Resnick
Halloween is a secular holiday. More importantly, it's a silly holiday...I advise both parties to lighten up.
We have no strategy for getting out. We, as a nation, are in denial. [Cassie] is in this courtroom, honoring one dead soldier. That's a start.
Who decides when it's OK to make fun of a religion?
ARArmy recruiter
[on the witness stand] We're at war. We need soldiers.
[to Alan] I don't want to look at you right now.
CCassie
I don't want to have sex with you anymore. [pauses] So there we are.
There we are.
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