There's a reason Shakespeare and many after him said 'First kill all the lawyers.' They're talking about people like me, Jerry, not you.
“Ivan the Incorrigible” · Season 2, Episode 22
In this episode: Alan Shore (6), Denny Crane (4), Shirley (3), Ivan (2), Brad (1), Jerry (1), ADA Kupfer (1)
Alan you know the one thing we sometimes forget is no matter how hard your day, no matter how tough your choices were, how complex your ethical decisions...you always get to choose what you want for lunch.
Daily I am amazed at your inexhaustable ability to just live.
It's either that or die.
I hear you misplaced a client.
Not really. Like car keys and sunglasses, he'll show up somewhere.
I misplaced a client once.
Did they ever find him?
No, I made sure to ship him off to some country with no extradition. Practically a deserted island off the coast of South America. He sends me Feliz Cumpleanos cards every year.
That's thoughtful. Sounds like paradise actually. Living on an island. A much simpler life.
Especially if it's an island where the natives run around the beach with their boobies hanging out.
Does that mean you're back on the market?
Denny, as far you're concerned I'm always on the market.
We know we don't deserve Shirley Schmidt. Just the possibility is enough to sustain us.
You are a dear, sweet man. And I have something else that might sustain you. [whispers into his ear] Denny Crane.
There's no doubt in my mind that you could develop into a first rate criminal defender, Jerry. But my hope is that you don't. Even at your relatively mature age you're still innocent.
Except when I held a knife to Shirley's throat.
So basically if I screw around she gets my life.
Not your whole life, just the parts you love.
BBrad
[to Denise] So let me ask you this: in Italian does the word 'vagina' mean something else?
I brought wine, cheese, and condoms. I thought we'd picnic.
Missy came to my office today.
Aw. So just the wine and cheese.
You know if the US really wanted to torture detainees, they'd sentence them to be you for a day. I imagine it's excruciating.
You have no idea.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Boston Legal pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.