[describing the particulates in the corpse] This is like Congress, only functional.
S8 E20The Blood from the Stones
CCam
And now Andrew can get a good shot of Dr. Brennan's sidekick analyzing the particulates way over there.
Uh...um...I'm not a sidekick. I'm king of the lab!
[Booth flashes his badge to the storekeeper of a jewelry shop]
SStorekeeper
[nervously] Oh! Look how shiny that badge is.
Yeah that's really shiny.
Do you think Dr. Edison is more likeable than I am?
CCam
Ohhhh. [takes a deep breath] Likability is so subjective.
Not always. Pol Pot couldn't have been likable.
CCam
Maybe at parties.
[Inside the interrogation room, Metro PD Commander Joe Dinko is in for questioning. Booth and Caroline Julian are staring at him.]
JDJoe Dinko
I'm a cop. I know all about using the uncomfortable silence to make a suspect talk.
Then why don't you talk first? [To Booth, sarcastically] This is gonna be a walk in the park.
[to a suspect who keeps dodging his questions] Our stairwells are soundproof. You could break your neck trying to run away from me.
[...]
Where's the money?
MMarcos
What money?
If you say "what money" I'll drag you to the nearest stairwell.
[watching from the observation room] I'm in a totally different place.
S8 E21The Maiden in the Mushrooms
[Hodgins catches up with Finn on the Forensic platform.]
Finn, I've got the results.
From the victim's fingernail?
What? No, no, no, I'm still working on that. No, I have a molecular breakdown of your Grandma's secret sauce.
Oh, forget it. I've moved on.
No, you haven't, your still pissed, and I don't blame you. That stuff is awesome!
My Grandmother used to put it on my Catfish...
Oh, you're kidd...you're killing me here. I'm not gonna let that hot sauce die. [walks over to monitor] Now, look at this. I-I took a swab of the bottle and I ran it through the Mass-Spec, right, and I almost got everything. We've got Red and Yellow Peppers, ok, Cayenne, Tomatoes, of course, Garlic, Onions, Cumin, Salt, Brown sugar, Vinegar--it's just-it's just this one compound I cannot identify, and I hoping you'd know what it was.
Yeah, it's the one thing you'll never find.
Alright, but I've already got a portion of the molecular chain...
Love! It's love, Hodgins. That's not gonna show on your Mass Spec. Come on, let it go. [walks away]
No...Finn, come on...hey. I'm just one compound away.
[Finn leaves the Forensics Platform]
I'm gonna burn the crap outta your mouth and you are gonna love it!
[Another lab technician looks at Hodgins and wrinkles his nose, weirded out by the comment. Hodgins feels awkward for saying that so loud]
[In the interrogation room]
You seem to feel that anger is good solution to your problems, which I totally understand.
SSuspect
Yeah?
[nods, speaks rapidly] Yeah, sure. The release of adrenalin and noradrenalin in your system causes you to feel optimistic that your impulses are causing you to make, huh, reasonable risk assessments. It's a common correspondence bias.
SSuspect
[irritated] Are you screwing with me?
[earnestly] No. I'm simply pointing out that your lack of self control can cause you to make extremely poor decisions––
SSuspect
You said you're on my side!!
[raises hand to calm suspect down] No, he said he understood why you'd go psycho!
[glances at Booth] Ok, I wouldn't use that word but––
[impatiently to Sweets] I know. That's why I'm here.
Where were you on the 17th?
GGordie
I was at...at home, I think.
You think. You have someone to back up your story?
GGordie
My mom.
[deadpan] Your mom. You live with your mom. I bet Rebecca found that hot.
[Booth and Brennan are watching unaired footage of a drunk Judge Trudy]
Oh...wow...she wobbles and....oh...wow...ok, so what do you think, Bones?
The judge might suffer from a neuromuscular disorder.
[stares at the TV and then at Brennan in disbelief] She sloshed! [Brennan shakes her head, unsure of what Booth meant] Drunk!
Oh. That.
TTrudy
This line of questioning is absurd. Move on with it.
This is not your fake courtroom, Trudy. I call the shots here. You're more than a social drinker, aren't you? I can tell by the way your hand is shaking.
TTrudy
I have the occasional drink. Occasional.
[sarcastically] Right. Bet you had the "occasional" DUI. For me it was gambling, for my father it was drinking. I know a problem when I see one.
I hope this is important, I'm trying to find cause of death... [Smells the fried catfish.] What's that smell?
[As Angela prepares a table, Hodgins turns to show Finn.]
It... is Catfish, "Opie".
Oh. That wasn't neccessary, "Thurston".
But it was. [Points to the chair waiting] Come here, sit down.
[Finn sits down to the fried Catfish. Hodgins' hand moves to his pocket.]
And this... [Pulls a bottle of the hot sauce out of his pocket] This is the hot sauce.
Taste it, you are gonna love it.
[Finn reluctantly obliges]
This is... [drinks some of the sauce] Oh, my god! How did you do that?
Aframomum melegueta; it's more commonly as "Guinea grain". It's native to swampy habitats along the West African Coast. I have no idea how your Granny got a hold of it, but...
She used to trade with a Herbalist in the woods...Damnit...If you hadn't brought my Granny back from the dead! [starts laughing]
Hey, I told you I'd find it, right?
And you were right. The secret ingredient was Love. That's the only explanation for Hodgins spending so much time, and effort to do this.
Eat. Go, eat.
[Finn pours the hot sauce on the catfish and starts eating]
Hey, we shouldn't keep this stuff a secret, I mean the world would love this.
Aaaa. Very true, very true.
You should slow down a little bit, Finn. You don't wanna get a bone stuck down your throat.
[Holds up a catfish bone] Not from a baby Catfish.
[Bends the catfish bone to emphasize that it is flexible. As he looks at it, he has an epiphany on the victim's cause of death.]
That's it!
What?
Cause of death.
[Finn gets up, hovering between going and eating his catfish. He grabs the bottle of hot sauce before he leaves. Angela and Hodgins look bemused.]
S8 E22The Party in the Pants
CCam
Either rats ate the rest of his underwear or I'd say our victim was a stripper.
Based on your robust frame, muscular build, and symmetrical features, you could make a good income as an exotic dancer.
Well, then I wasted a bunch of money on grad school.
[to Hodgins] You know, if I had any non-crime related cash right now, I would be stuffing it down those pants of yours.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.