Bones · Season 8
[Hodgins slices open the pod with a laser beam.]
So what now? Do we just tip it over and let it drain into a tub? Or insert a tube? Or...
Safety first. You want to make sure everything's safe in there.
[Hodgins puts his head to the hole and takes a whiff.]
I've never smelt anything like that before. [gags] I mean, I suppose that that could be, um....[faints]
Sweets has trust issues involving finding a home. Since he grew up an orphan, the anger he's sublimated has paralyzed him from developing a healthy perspective on what having a home means. That made him bond with us and our home so he didn't have to deal with his own emotional insecurities.
Bones shoots from the outside! Three points!
Where's that psychobabble coming from?
Well, you left one of your psychobabble books in our bathroom.
[to suspect, who is gloating over the fact that there's no evidence to convict him of murder] She's gonna find something. She always does.
...[later]
You made one big mistake.
Yeah, what was that?
You pissed off my partner here.
[Booth and Brennan are standing over Seth Zalinsky, who is lying on the ground stuck to the corpse]
[standing over Seth] Hey there, Michelangelo, can you hear me?
[to Booth] You shouldn't call him that, Booth. If he had a head injury he might think that's who he is.
Something's poking in my back and something smells terrible!
Do you know your name?
Yes!
Ok, what is it.
I'm not saying.
[to Booth] Told you. You confused him.
No I didn't––
I'm not confused! I'm just not tellin' you my name.
See, he's not confused.
Vitals are stable. No sign of concussion....
Who are you??
Who are we? [shows his badge] FBI, that's who we are.
Since when did FBI cover billboard vandalism??
[At the Jeffersonian platform. Brennan, Cam and Fisher are observing Seth on the autopsy table being scanned.]
Are we allowed to laugh?
Ummmm...no. [looks at Brennan] What are we calling the one that's still alive?
Well, Booth calls him Michelangelo.
[...]
[looking at computer screen] Large rugged pelvis suggests the victim was a Caucasian male.
I have a large rugged pelvis? [grins] Booyah!!! [Cam smiles]
Not you. The murder victim.
[...]
Everyone here is this combo of smart and dumb.
Now you don't have to unfold and refold a map.
Wait a second, I like maps. What's wrong with maps?
Well, maps cannot tell you the amount of traffic to expect en route to your destination. See? Now we can relax and talk about interesting things.
This is not how the cowboys settled this country.
[pulls the corpse off Seth] It is with great pleasure that I divorce these skulls.
I don't know if you're aware, but I do a bit of stand-up myself.
I imagine you are not very skilled at it, as you are not a humorous person.
My routine is dark, disturbing and uncomfortable. Just the way a comedy show should be.
I don't do jokes, Dr. Saroyan. I do raw, unfiltered honesty.
[Backstage before open mike night at the comedy club]
Are you nervous?
I've had people try to kill me, Sweets. I don't think cracking jokes makes me nervous.
1,250,000.
What???
That's how long it would take to check out every toilet in DC.
[turns to Brennan] Bones, once you start with the math you don't stop, right?
[smiles] You think everyone's like that, don't you?
[humoring Brennan, smirks] Yeah I think so, definitely. Go math. Math people forever, right?
[Booth is undercover as a stand-up comic while Sweets and Fisher are watching in the audience]
Oh my god, Booth is funny.
Almost funny.
So what do you think? Man or a woman?
I am uncomfortable defining sex with just a skull.
Come on. Take a stab. I won't write anything down, I promise. It's between me and you. (Brennan looks at Hodgins) Oh, well...
What? You don't want to take a stab in front of me?
I feel inhibited by my desire not to embarrass myself in front of another scientist.
You should take that as a compliment.
What about him?
Well we live together and thus share the same synergistic lack of inhibition which allows us to have sex without being self-conscious.
That's very romantic, Bones.
[after Sweets suggested she and Booth go undercover as dancers] [excited] I love going undercover!
[not pleased] Why??
Because it's fun and exciting!
You're the king of the lab. Or at least you used to be. Apparently, now, you're just another clueless tech.
[folds his arms, amused] Ok, all right, I see what you're doing there and I'm far too evolved for you to try for it to work.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
