Bones · Season 3
Okay. You're not Dr. Brennan today. You're Temperance.
I don't know what that means.
The scientist part of you got sidelined temporarily.
I still don't know what that means.
Bones, just, take the brain, okay, put it in neutral. All right? Take the heart, pop it into overdrive. [makes engine noises and mimes driving a race car]
[smiles] Sometimes I think you're from another planet. [laughs] And sometimes I think you're really very nice.
Does Tommy share your affection?
Why do you ask it like that? Because I don't look like a scarecrow? [to Booth] Like her?
Hey. Wha- what are you coming after me for? [to Booth] Do- do I look like a scarecrow?
Until I was thirteen, I wanted to be the next Cyndi Lauper.
I'd say you're kidding, but I don't think you know how to kid.
The other girls and I referred to her as "rad." [laughs] My mother said I sang just as well.
As well as Cyndi Lauper?
Yes.
Mothers do that. It's healthy.
No, it wasn't just flattery. My mother told me I sang "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" better than she did.
It was an expression of affection, Dr. Brennan, not an objective evaluation of your abilities.
Well, I think you're wrong.
Okay then, go ahead, belt it out.
No!
Yeah, come on. Give us a few bars.
Come on...
I can't just burst into song. I have to have music and an appropriate atmosphere of frivolity.
Diva, forensic genius, best-selling author, better than Cyndi Lauper...
Mocking will not change my opinion. I have been mocked many, many times before. That came out wrong.
My regimen is easily completed in my apartment. Treadmill for 30 minutes, 100 sit-ups, push-ups and leg-lifts, and then 20 minutes of free weights. I'm deceptively strong.
I am deceived.
Hey! Break down the door!
It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door!
How does a former sniper have a grass allergy? I mean, wouldn't a sneeze give away your position?
Bones, OK, I worked in the desert. Sand, no grass.
I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral. It was a complete waste of time, just like I said.
Wait a second. You thought that my funeral was a waste of time?
I thought it was a lovely service, Booth.
Thank you! You know, I expected to see more people though...
I always imagined a lot of ex-girlfriends crying.
Yeah. Me, too.
You guys are pathetic.
[to Booth] Just know I won't be attending your next funeral.
[Brennan walks in on Booth in the tub.]
I need to talk to you!
Okay, what the hell, Bones? I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here, anyway?
Well, that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you--
And that cigar? Very unhealthy.
Okay. What the hell do you want now, Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.
You should have told me that you weren't dead.
I already explained this to you. The Bureau has to vet everyone when there's a security issue. I was just following protocol!
Protocol?
Yes!
We've been partners for three years, Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me!
(stands) I took a bullet for you!
Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would you like a towel?
(Booth is walking around the lab table, staring) Booth?
Hey Bones, I'm thinking here.
Thinking about what, exactly?
Well, it's a pickle. The platform's a crime scene, but we need to access it to investigate the crime.
A "cake and eat it too" situation.
Is it a cake or a pickle?
It's Schrödinger's Cat.
That I understand. Cakes and pickles meant nothing to me.
A toothless cannibal just can't cut it in today's competitive serial killer climate.
Bones broke into my house last night.
There was a key!
All angry because nobody told her that I was dead. And I was just following protocol!
Broke into your house?
There was a key.
And barged into my bathroom.
What were you doing?
He was drinking beer and reading a comic book.
I was taking a bath!
You read comics and drink beer naked?
Wait a minute. Bones bursts into my bathroom, all right, and I'm weird for being naked?
[confronting Sweets in an angry whisper] You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one? You experimented on us.
Beg your pardon?
Not telling me Booth was alive, you wanted to quantify our reactions for your own research. You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats, so you better cut it out.
Dr. Brennan, why are you talking so fast?
Because if Booth hears why you did what you did, he'd beat you up.
Don't you think that would be an overly aggressive act?
Not at all. So you better not do it again.
I've always been proud of you, Zack. I've never met anyone more rational and intelligent. But there's a fault in your logic.
With all due respect, you aren't cognizant of his logic.
Assumption number one: Secret societies exists.
Accepted. Hodgins has been explaining this to me for years.
Assumption number two: The human experience is adversely affected by secret societies.
Accepted.
Assumption number three: Attacking and killing members of secret societies will have ameliorating affect on the human experience.
Accepted.
All of your assumptions are built on a first principle, Zack. To wit, the historical human experience as a whole is more important than a single person's life.
Yes.
Yet, you risked it all so you wouldn't hurt Hodgins.
[Brennan moves closer to Zack and touches her forehead with his as both their eyes tears up.]
There's... You're correct. There's an inconsistency in my reasoning.
That's enough, we're going. Now.
I have remains to identify. He could have a family.
He's 500 years old. They've probably adjusted by now.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bones pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
