Bones Season 2 quotes

Booth

We're partners, you know, together all the time, all right? You're a woman, and I'm a man. I never had a relationship like this where we were, like, two guys -- except you're not, you know, a guy.

Brennan

No. No, I'm not. Should I feel odd about wanting to hang out with Will?

Booth

No, of course not. 'Cause essentially you're a guy, like me, but not really.

Brennan

That would mean that to me, you are, essentially, a woman. Yeah, I can see that.

Booth

No, no, no, no. I'd prefer not to be a woman, if you don't mind.

Brennan

I'm merely trying to follow your reasoning, Booth.

Brennan

I can read bones, not people.

Booth

Well, you had no trouble seeing through me.

Brennan

It's a good thing I like being alone.

Booth

You know what, Bones? You're not alone. Okay? Come here.

Brennan

Booth...

Booth

Hey, you're my partner. It's a guy-hug. Take it. [They hug in a very non-guy-hug way.]

Booth

Hey, Bones, come on. We've got a body. Went up like a Roman candle... Hey, Zack! How's it going?

Zack

So far they don't like me.

Booth

Shocker.

Booth

Okay, who else knows about this?

Hodgins

Us and you. That's it.

Booth

Let's keep it that way.

Hodgins

I've seen this movie. I get killed on the way home.

Booth

Then don't go home.

Hodgins

[laughs, then stops abruptly] You serious?

Brennan

I wouldn't let anyone else call you a loser, Russ. What makes you think you're allowed?

Russ

I love you, too.

Brennan

I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared.

Booth

Hey, I get scared and I'll hug you. We'll call it even.

Brennan

I just... I'm just one of those people who doesn't get to be in a family. That's--

Booth

[places his finger underneath her chin, lifting her head up] Listen, Bones, hey. There's more than one kind of family.

You're what's known as a real pain in the ass, Agent Booth.

Booth

Yes sir.

I just had my testicles handed to me by the Attorney General of the United States of America.

[...] You're suspended without pay. Gun, ID, security card, please.

Booth

Sir, I'm entitled to the reading of the charges against me.

The charges against you are that I was pissed upon from a very great height!

Zack

Dr. Saroyan, when I get my doctorate, I'd like to work here.

Cam

[looks at Zack intently] Zack, you're an excellent scientist but an important part of the job is appearing as an expert witness in court.

Angela

Oooph.

Zack

Oooph what?

Cam

Jurors have to take you seriously and frankly, you look like a weekend fill-in at a college radio station.

Hodgins

[smiles at Zack sympathetically] Truth hurts, dude. Learn from it and grow.

Angela

Did you really call me "the heart of the operation"?

Hodgins

Yeah. That's before you called me short.

Angela

Hey, Zack called you short. I think you're just the right height.

Hodgins

Yeah?

Angela

Short men have better leverage.

Zack

I'm feeling uncomfortable.

Angela

How do you deal with the fear?

Brennan

I have this. [takes out huge gun from her purse]

Angela

Oh, my God! That thing is huge. Whoa, wow, that's like movie huge.

Booth

Where the hell did you get that?

Brennan

The mall.

Booth

[incredulously] The mall?

Brennan

Yeah. It's pretty big, right? Bigger than the one you have. [Angela chuckles]

Booth

Excuse me. It's not the size that matters. It's how you use it.

Brennan

Well, I think size is pretty important.

Booth

The point is that you shouldn't have a gun in the first place.

Angela

If you do have one, bigger is always better.

Booth

You're not helping.

Angela

Right. Yeah, this does seem like a private conversation.

Booth

You know, people see you with that, the next thing you know everyone in this place is gonna start packing.

Brennan

This is America. Get used to it.

Booth

What's that smell?

Brennan

It's mold. It grows in the fat creases of morbidly obese people.

What is this about? Did you bring me here to make fun of me?

Brennan

I merely stated a fact, Mrs. Epps. You need to lose weight. Obesity also causes diabetes, heart damage, liver failure. Not to mention the wear it puts on your joints.

I have a glandular condition. A little compassion and understanding, that's what I really need.

Zack

My doctor said most of my injuries didn't come from the explosion but from being slammed into the floor. [to Booth.] Apparently you're extremely strong.

Brennan

[to Booth.] Did you have to be so rough on him?

Booth

(plaintively) It was a bomb. I was being, you know, heroic.