[Regarding a homemade doll]
I think that's supposed to be Aunt Gayle.
Well then who's that lady in the living room?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[On Bob's "Burger of the Day" board being left blank]
This is crazy! You're crazy! You do "Burgers of the Day" every day!
Teddy--
A NEW BURGER, EVERY DAY! IT'S THE ONLY CONSTANT IN MY LIFE!
[reassuring] Okay, easy, Teddy, Teddy, easy...
[shaking her off] No, no, no, get off of me!
Teddy! Teddy!
GET OFF OF ME! When I come back tomorrow, there better be a friggin' burger on that board! You hear me, Bob?!
Yeah...
DO YOU HEAR ME?!
Bye...
[to another customer, calmy] I'm sorry, sir, I know you're enjoying your lunch. [to Bob] PUT A BURGER ON THAT BOARD!
[He leaves and is heard screaming as the kids enter]
Uh, why is Teddy walking in the street, trying to punch cars?
He's overreacting because I--
[pointing and panicking] THE "BURGER OF THE DAY" BOARD IS BLANK! THE "BURGER OF THE DAY" BOARD IS BLANK!
AAAAAAAHH!!!
That didn't happen to you.
Yes it did.
No. It happened to Tippi Hedren in The Birds.
What?
Bob, you're describing an exact scene in Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. They call it "shot for shot".
Bob, you think you're Tippi Hedren, honey.
I don't think I'm Tippi Hedren, I'm describing an event from my life.
(Jump Cut: Bob views Tippi Hedren's scene from The Birds on his laptop)
Oh my God, I'm Tippi Hedren!
Yeah, you wish!
I guess I must have seen that movie when I was young.
Oh, you poor thing. You poor dumb thing.
Kissing is one of the great parts of life, like dancing. Or rainy days. Or those croissants Meryl Streep made in that movie. We don't have to not kiss. We just have to smart kiss... and now, I am going to kiss everyone in this row.
(Jimmy Pesto reads Bob's plaque.)
JPJimmy Pesto
A mob hit? No fair! How'd you get something cool?
Well...bye, Jimmy.
JPJimmy Pesto
Wait wait wait, I love mob stuff! The music, the movies..."Johnny Dangerously." Joe Piscopo in his prime! That's the movie that made me wanna be Italian!
You do not want that flu bug. I had it and it gave me weird fever dreams. I dreamt I was in a book club with my cousin Vanessa,
(Air horn blares)
Tina, I thought we took the air horn away from you.
Did you hide it in your underwear drawer?
Yes.
We know about the underwear drawer.
And about your underwear. Not-so-tighty-not-so-whitey!
[Linda's voice] So listen, none shall pass... gas, Oh, Just kidding.
You know that boat that I've been fixing up?
Yoooou've mentioned it.
Well, I finally got her shipshape, and I thought it'd be fun to take you all out.
Kill us?
No, take you out for a boat ride.
AMr. Ambrose
Ugggh! You've been a witch for what? Two days? Take it down a notch! You're playing with powerful forces; this is not kids stuff.
I am powerful forces.
AMr. Ambrose
Witch, please!
JJimmy
Notice anything different about me?
No, thank you.
JJimmy
Eh? Eh? I'm tan! Just got back from a week in the Bahamas. We had a blast. Except for Jimmy Jr. He forgot to put on sunblock. Now he looks like a dog's ding-dong.
Aw!
(Doorbell buzzes)
We should build a fort with the cushions.That way, even if he gets in, he won't see us.
GAGerald the Accountant
Okay, but I'm still sad, so I want my own room in the fort to reflect and figure out where to go from here.
You absolutely deserve that.
How you doing girl?
Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea.
Maybe we should just pack it in. Go home and drink the kind of hot coco
They're looking for a student to participate in their Robotic Mobility Program. Or rump for short.
Rump? I'm listening.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Bob's Burgers pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.